I have nothing
in particular
to write
yet,
feel the need
to let my fingers
run over the keys,
pretend I am C.B.
and press a few
until something
starts to form
out of the subconscious
that lies behind these
drunken eyes and
irrepressible grin

the heart knows
to pump blood
to the extremities,
but sometimes
the heart
sees itself
in another ribcage
and forgets to beat

I wanted to call I wanted to hear your voice
I wanted us to talk for hours like it used to be I wanted to call
I want to lay in your arms for hours like it used to be
I want the sweet part I used to own now I can't ever seem to find
Because the you I love my love is no longer the loss I feel is so deep so dark so long ask hot so cold a trillion highs could not give me my fix I have tried

I started this
with my head
in my hands,
ran my palms
down my face,
brought them
together in front
of me as if in prayer.

My mind was
putting on a
show,
bursts of
imagery flashed
like fireworks.

Words floated
like falling
feathers,
ideas danced
like fireflies
in the night.

For some reason
my senses
brought about
the scent
of the sea.

I closed my
eyes and seen
the palm trees
sway like
hula girls in
the wind.

A smile appeared
and I
held on to
it for as long
as I could.

Eyes clenched
tightly shut,
mind at work.

It called
to me and I
ran to it
with my heart
wide open.

And when
it was all over
I sat down
and created
this..

I hate this.
This shell,
Littered with scars and bruises,
That I am forced to dwell in.
It is so weak.
It can be broken and battered so easily.
I just want to be free of it.
My soul wants to roam this retched place
Without a worthless body slowing it down.
But alas,
I am still stuck.
Forced to suffer in this shell,
Until I am pure enough,
To be released into a state of bliss.

The wind howls
outside my bedroom window
shaking me
my heart; my soul

it screams
while you sit there
drinking sweet-smelling coffee
a baby boy in Africa
cries of hunger
and aching ribs.

while you are curled up
under warm and soft blankets
an old and lonely man
wanders the darkest streets
looking for warmth;
a home

while you hide there
surrounded by light and family
with an aura of ungratefulness
you are lost in the rays of your technologies
with a frown on your angelic face
when a weeping woman
shakes and prays
for her gone children to reach Heaven happily
but you dare forget God to a screen?

my house shakes
from Wind's agonizing words
and a streak of cold
trickles into my haven
along with the words
"what am I doing?"

somehow
my stiff legs reach
a window
and the arms in front of me
pull it open
to reveal no sound at all

where is the wind?
did he leave just as
he touched
my heart; my soul
making me waver?
or does a gust not howl ,
speak,
and isn't heard?

no
the wind was here
for how else did the once-twinkling snowflakes
suddenly freeze
and lose all of their beauty?

no one but Wind
would take the innocence
of such young and beautiful white specks
just as they landed
in this cold,
dark world

no one but Wind
would flare you with reality
enough to make you cry with obliviousness
for this wind; my Wind
he is the voice off all those
who have faced
life's stinging brutality;
him
instead of
hiding under covers
and whispering morbid lies
that
everything is okay

Invited to a party
To another good time
How about a Coke and Bacardi
With a twist of lime

So many problems on my mind
Keep quiet have a good time
Just keep it together unwind
I’m sure I’ll be fine

How are things they all ask?
Things are great I say
Wearing my smiling mask
Why is life kicking my ***?

Have a drink do a shot
Trying not to talk to big shots
Overhearing about all they got
One day I will be on top.

Listen to them talk
Why won’t they just stop?
Look at that chick she’s hot
I wish she would **** my ****.

When will I catch a break?
Have a drink and be fake
Oh for Pete’s Sake
How much more can I take

Must converse and be polite
Rather hit a bar and start a fight
Where’s the food need a bite
Keep quiet and don’t gripe

So he says how’s biz?
Oh gee ****
Fine excuse me I have to ****
I wish I had a job like his

They are all nice people why do I wish they’d go to hell
Because my life ain’t doing so well?
Pull it together before someone can tell
Turn on the charm put them under your spell.

No one knows your ills
Tell a few jokes don’t stand still
Relax get them laughing….chill
Tell the one from the office that one kills.

They laugh and giggle that’s why they invited you
You drink and get silly they lap up your spew
You’re a jester and you entertained them through and through
If only they knew
If only they knew
Deep down inside your blue

Everyone says goodbye they had such a good time
You drive home your spirits in decline
Sunday then Monday back to the grind
Please lord show me a sign.

Finally you are at your place
No plans for tomorrow
Just escape the rat race
Close your eyes the room spins what silent sorrow.