May 4
This is the day it all began
5 years ago in Misawa, Japan
I took your hand, you stole my heart
Its hard to believe that we’ve grown apart
But really its not, all the **** that i did
You held us together like peanut butter does bread
I was the knife that cut us to pieces
Now our relationship is left in the ashes
I still believe that we can rise like a phoenix
But you dont anymore that we have no fix
I find it hard to believe you have not one little piece left
Of love,If you once loved me as much as you said did
Like i said before i dont want what we had
That relationship was bad and you were nothing but sad
I want to be better i want us to be the best
I want to stand as your husband when you get that pin on your chest
You still have my heart but i dont have your hand
But like i told you before, i still believe in us so ill still take a stand
But the more i do the further you get
So i need to let go and start to forget

We were only engaged for a couple of months
Because of the date that you wanted
February 29, 2016 was the day we got married
I couldn’t believe we were here after all that had happened
Remember we thought we could just go to the courthouse
Apparently it wasn’t that easy to become someones spouse
We called a few numbers and they said that they couldn’t
Until finally someone said that they would do it
Just you me and the kids, in a nice little park
On a whole different journey, we were about to embark
We said what we said
Our vows we each read
We went back to our home
Left the kids downstairs locked the door to our room
Made love for the first time as husband and wife
We got dressed, went to Chilis for lunch and to begin our new life

Don’t remember the exact date
Might say on the parking pass
That i have in my truck
Hanging off of the rearview glass
We had a date to the fair
Rode the rides, had no cares
Engagement ring in my pocket
Butterflies in my stomach
I knew you would say yes
So why was i nervous?
We got on the ferris wheel
I knew i wasn’t gonna kneel
I had wanted to pay him to halt at the top
It must have been fate because it came to a stop
Couldn’t get out the words, heart racing, palms sweaty
But i finally said it “Will you marry me?”
Eyes swelled up, tears ran down your face
“Yes, yes a million times yes!”
I remember being truly happy that night
And thinking that everything would be all right

Time went on we moved to a new place
I thought she was happy, always a smile on her face
I was working full time and was a full time student
I didn’t think that i was TOO absent
She was working full time, watching the kids by herself
We spent time on the weekends but i still kind of kept to myself
Shed want to go out maybe go out on a date
Id say lets do it, yea that sounds great
But when it came to it i wouldn’t even try
I didn’t know sometimes,shed sit at home and just cry
Sometimes shed just want to have a girls night
Knowing very well that it would start a fight
It wasn’t her doing, i did it to us
She wasn’t the one that had broken the trust
Id ask 20 questions to catch her in a lie
But she already knew that this i would try
Where are you going? Who were you with?
I should have known shed get tired of this
She never lied to me she was always the best
But i kept treating her bad and she was always so stressed

I was the kool aid with water
Without her i was just bitter
She was the sugar
We mixed together and i got a little bit sweeter

A few months had passed and your belly grew round
You gave birth to a boy that had us spellbound
A few months went by you had to run to the store
What happened next of why im still unsure
A moment of anger i smacked our two year old
After it happened i wanted to crawl in a hole
I picked her up and I started crying
I called you and told you she hit a drawer, i was lying
The next day a hand mark across her small face
The police were then called and i caught a case
Went to jail, had to move out for a while
I don’t know why i had done that to our child
We talked and we talked and i thought we moved past
I didnt know i had put a hole in your heart that would last

I was the one that cheated on you
Thoughts of revenge from you in my mind grew
I didn’t trust YOU, even though i was the one
That broke the trust first, and thats where it had begun
You went on deployment you tried to have fun
But i didn’t like it and tried to keep it at none
Before you left we didn’t know
That a little bean had started to grow
But you had a miscarriage and were all by yourself
I couldn’t even hold you, i was just a picture on a shelf
You came home for a while to work on a plane
I didn’t want you to leave again and deal with that pain
Before you went back took a positive test
We were both happy, felt truly blessed
This whole time your mom had been dealing with cancer
You got a call said she was in hospice, another mountain to conquer
They flew you back home spent your last days with your mom
I know that it hurt you but you maintained your calm
I asked you once, maybe twice if you were ok
You said yes, i believed you so i stayed away