I hate the way things are right now
A never ending cycle of torment
Just a little farther, I push myself
Lying because I'm too afraid to give up

How much more do I need to go
How much father can I go
Before it's too late
And I'm completely broken

I don't know what happened
To my innocent childhood days
I used to be so happy
I've come such a long ways

Now I'm lost
No direction to turn
The lights now dimmed
Disappear without a trace

Let the circle be undone
Stop pacing back and forth
Revolt against the ruts of your everyday life
What is worth the trouble
Should not be your life undone

Stick to the happy things
Your child's laughter
A simple opera here and there
The orchestra of the wind blowing in the trees
The warmth of your blanket

Enjoy the little things as they come
As few as they are
Step by step
Things will become as they began
With the simplicity of happiness

What Am I To You?
I guess I really am my fathers kid
A **** by heart
With my savage actions
And mindless sputum

What am I to you?
Certainly not the heavenly idea of a daughter
Or the respectable adult you wanted me to be
But just a disappointment and reason for your hostility

I'm your unwilling punching bag
Constantly beating me down to forget your insecurities
Thriving from the pain you cause
A waste container for your built up hatred

You love the feeling of being in control
Sicking your puppet on me
Rejoicing in the cries of terror and pain
Your cruelty is very becoming of you

What is your goal in all this?
Filling me with hatred for you
And keeping my mouth sewn shut so I can't release it
Are you waiting to see me explode?

You love making me angry
It gives you power and control
The power to destroy my life
And the control over my soul

I run toward you
But you turn your head in disappointment
Losing hope of a relationship long passed
Finally hopeless and long lost
To the still air of hopeless despair

I look up to you
Searching your face for the tiniest glimmer of hope
That maybe you too still care
But all I see is my worthless projections of hope
Reflecting back to mock me

I'm lost... I need your help...
But you no longer care
I'm just a sentence in a book you've read
Once read and now forgotten
Never to enlighten your imagination again

I'm sorry I failed you
And I'm sorry I tried to bring you back
I'm sorry I lingered in our past
Hoping to feel loved once more
But knowing all love is lost