Dreary and fragrant
Freshness of the morning dew
Periwinkle blossoms
And everything anew

Mystical fairies
Lacing petals
A delicate morning frost
Hushing as it settles

Quiet and soft
Like a midnight mouse
Dancing the Nutcracker
All nestled in a warm house

Ever so slightly
The sun makes its way
Gentle warmth
A dazzling sparkly display

Children waken
As bright as they say
Coffee brewing
What another fine day

I sit here alone
My thoughts provoked
Sinister guiles
Plotting my end
Tempt me no more please
End this cycle
Thoughts renounced
Disappointment announced
Calling for anguish and despair
No more I beg
But chains I cannot shed
Tears fall
Blood boils
Incompatible but none to blame
Worthy is question
Doubt is present
Resolution implausible

A universe shattered
Long ago
But bits and pieces still remain
Leaving scars
Memories unforgotten
Twisted nightmares
Unbearable weight on my shoulders
The logic states otherwise
But my mind... a black hole
It's been years
Why does it still hurt?
Why does it still matter?
Why do I care?
It's done, unfixable
The ground beneath my feat
Unsteady
Alone in the darkness
The memories linger
Preying on the insomniac
Who cares too much
Wishing to go back
Hoping to amend
Knowing I've been wronged
But still believe I am to blame

Sleepless nights
Anxious ghosts
Whispering their painful thoughts
No one here
I'm all alone
Bait to the inner monster

You are what you are.
You will never have
More than what you already have.
Things taken will never return.
What's left will not remain.
When all is lost
You are stuck...


[...love...
...affection...
...trusting people...
...trusting yourself...
...loving yourself...
...loving others...
...warmth...
...happiness...
...good health...
Jump and you may reach!
"You deserve it!"]

in the endless pit with yourself.

I want you to hold me tight and show me how much you care
But I don't want you to see me
My wretched disabled soul does not seek your pity
What am I even here for?
To be a slave? To be used for your happiness and pleasure?
I am consumed with grief knowing I'll never have the love I need
And the only one who is willing, never quite gives enough
I'm a void and no matter how much you give me,
It will never be enough to heal my eternal wounds that you gave me
I know why you neglect me, I know why you hate me
I understand now, but I am not sorry
I am who I am and I cannot change that
I won't ever be the person you hoped me to be
I won't ever be good enough
I won't ever be anything...
So just leave me be...
Depleted and alone...
I just don't care anymore.