tired of laying in the tub

crying on a sunday afternoon

feeling like i'll always be useless

I'm painfully weak

I lost a friend this year.
He was close to my heart.
Sometimes I still don't believe he's really gone, it's been hard for me to part.
He was my companion, my best friend, the one who greeted me with love and kisses.
Who played and walked by my side and kept me safe and was always there to listen.
I'll miss him forever. I love him always.
Not a day goes by without a thought of him.
The loss of a pet is so, so painful. Life is truly turned upside down without them there. Everything is wrong and sad and lonely. I would do anything to bring you back. You were the sweetest little angel. And I'm so sorry. I love and miss you and pray you're doing well..

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to
not be me
How much easier life would be

I find myself feeling empty a lot

I come here for comfort, for my release.
I can't find that anywhere else.
I'm glad I can be in a place where
others relate, and choose to console a stranger. Thank you to those who are kind enough to comment good thoughts and hold back judgement.

I've never been so down on myself
Nothing has ever been this difficult
(I seem to say that every time)
But every time it hurts just as much
It's a whole new hell that I have to pull myself out of
A new place of darkness and pain that no one else can help me with but myself
I'm trapped. emotionally, mentally, physically
Stuck exactly where I don't want to be.
I don't know where to go from here.