i lay here in silence yet again,
with no one here, not even a friend.
pieces of me are scattered on the floor,
i can hear the buzzing of my phone begin to roar.
how can i be so blind?
how can everyone leave me behind?
these lips keep silent,
not wanting to tell anyone of the pain that is evident.
tears fall on my face, disappearing in the sheets,
my heart is as heavy as concrete.
he broke me so easily, broke a delicate confidence that was never there,
now im here and can do nothing as my heart tears.
he broke a dream,
he tore me apart at the seams.
he was once praising me and then he knocked me off a pedestal,
making everything in my heart feel so dull.
pieces of me chant hurtful words,
digging into me like treacherous swords.
what can i do now with all this going on?
the only thing i can do is stare on.
goodbye blissful dream, goodbye happiness,
and hello misery, self hate, and emptiness.

i'm not beautiful
never will be
i'm not smart
you can't say that to me
don't tell me nice things
i am none of them
i am horrible
a monster
a human
i can't look at myself in the mirror
and when i do
i see eyes
showing disgust
i see them shaming
what they're looking at
i don't want you to tell me lies
let me drown and die in the truth
the harsh truth
i am not beautiful
i am not being humble
i am not beautiful
and never will be
not physically
not in soul

little girl,
six years old,
she thinks about her death.

she thinks how the world would be better off
without her.
she wishes upon stars
to find friends.

she knows she's not like the others.
she wrote the beautiful poems.

she was a smart kid.
she grew to be devastated,
by the reality of things.

she already knew that,
the world doesn't work
the way she wanted it to.

she was just sad,
all the time.

and as she grew older
she grew wiser.


today, this girl is seventeen.

going through a lot,
trying to be the best person she can

and in eleven years she did
what she never thought she could do;

be a beautiful poet

Do you remember summer?
When one day you said you could be happy?
Are you happy with yourself right now?
Broken hearts and faded hopes
Do you think you got somewhere killing everything?
That ever loved you
Killing the love you had for others
Do you think you saved yourself?
Raising your walls so high
With roses and thorns protecting you
Every flower you had
Is every flower you gave away
You created your own grave
The one no flowers will be on
The forgotten one at the end of the cemetery
You wanted to be immortal
You forgot to be what made you immortal
So cry from where you are
Because forgetting will be your blessing
And being forgotten will be your curse
You’re scared of two things;
Death and forgetting
You’ll die
You’ll forget
You’ll be forgotten
No one is immortal
Everyone fades somewhere
Into the darkness




Pick yourself up
And forgive yourself

Drug Addict

I drink beer, I drink liquor,
doing shots makes it quicker.
I smoke a bowl, I smoke a joint,
is there a problem, get to the point.
I take acid, I like trip,
I love the trail of a moving whip.
I like ****** sugar, I snort coke,
no wonder, I'm so **** broke.
I pop pills for stress, some for pain,
you'll never hear me complain.
I shoot ******, then I dose off,
my life is just a total loss.
I make and smoke ****,
hoping it takes my last breath.
Special K is my favorite tranquilizer,
I use it as a drug appetizer.
I smoke crack, don't ask why,
don't knock it, til you try.
Ecstasy makes me feel so good,
it always puts me in a special mood.
I sniff gas, I sniff glue,
then I ask, who are you.
Sometimes I smoke hash,
I live a life of white trash.
Morphine can't be beat,
my brain has suffered a defeat.
I even take ****** and steroids,
***** big, ***** small and I'm paranoid.
Been to counselling, been to rehab,
last time I went, I ended up with *****.
Now finally, I'm clean and sober,
been that way since mid October.
I admit drugs are more fun,
but in the end, God finally won.