She was a girl that loved to write
When 4th grade hit that's where she was inspired to write her story
The beauty started to fade, she started losing her sight

Nobody knew who she really was
Everyone thought she was ok
All she wanted was to feel love

Things got worse
Her escape was her notebook and her pen
Instead of her life feeling like a blessing, it felt like a curse

She knew she didn't have anyone to vent to
And she was all alone crying in the darkness
She's a fighter, she's trying so hard not to lose

She was the girl to always hand people her heart but it was either stolen,kicked or tossed
The carvings on the papers started to get deeper
Making sure she's able to follow the sentences and not get lost

The pain increased,  she became tired
Her heart started to become cold
Now she doesn't know such thing as a “fighter”

After each day passed
She wrote less
Her mind started consuming her, She knows she won't last

The ink has left the pages and found a new home on her skin
Her story was slowly being written on her body
Instead of her work being beaty, it started to become pure sin

She was a book full of different stories
The writing on her skin said it all
Its hard to find what you're looking for, even if her stories were in different categories

She started to look ill
She knew her time was coming
Realizing nobody will know how she feels

Her book is almost finished
The ink is starting to run out
Cherish those last pages, sit down and listen

The book is coming to end
She puts the pen down
She knows her new story is going to begin


She reads her own book
And smiles at the work she has done
She left behind her story, so the people that needs it the most can look

She was her own library, but only had one book
She was the girl that took the ******* she was going through and made a story out of it
She left it behind so the people like her can have hope

The last sentence on the last page said
“Our story isnt over”
It's true so keep that in your head

Everything will be ok
Sit down and read her story
God is watching over us, you can fight another day
Just pray
I promise you will be ok


She's an author that everyone wanted to know
Everyone wanted to know her story

Hey, you know that girl that always jumped around
And she always made people laugh,she was the class clown
That girl that always checked up on everyone
Shes was a fighter, she never gives up
The one that puts others before herself
And the one that always cared about how people felt
She always laughed at everything
And even though she knew she was bad but she just loved to sing
The girl that liked to do everything
She doesn't brag about it, she says nothing
She loves to laugh and smile
And she was so wild
She saw beauty in everything and everyone
Everybody thinks she so fun
She never stood still,she just loves to run
The one that loves to help
People went to her with their problems because she knew how they felt


Yeah you know that girl?
Did you ever know the real her
The girl that always felt miserable to come home
The one that always cried in her dark room alone
She's the one with the cuts on her arms that she lied about
She thought we were blind, that we wouldn't find out
We also didn't realize when she started to look different
None of us seem to bother to ask or listen
Yeah, you didn't know she had an other side to her
She was so down on herself, she felt like she didn't have self worth
Bothered to look at herself in the mirror
Drinking herself away so her mind can get clearer
So insecure about herself, she felt fat
In the bathroom she would always get anxiety attacks
She's only worried about making other people happy, she wanted to be happy but she couldn't
They thought she wouldn't
She would slice the pain away
She felt alone and just wanted to be ok

Bet you didn't know that
I bet you didn't know this either

You know that girl? She wasn't in school today
She said she was coming today, well she actually went away
The girl that always said she was alright
But if you looked deeper into her eyes that was all a lie
Yeah, you know that girl, she committed suicide last night

I need the pain to go away
No drugs and self harm can take it away
No medication numbs it
I didn't know what would calm my mind
Or slow my heartbeat
Once I started thinking about my death
I started to get addicted to the thought
I started to get high off the ways I could die
The feeling of relief knowing it could be over feels good
Overdosing myself with my suicide thoughts
Going in and out of consciousness
To the point I can’t tell from reality between my imagination
It feels too good to be true
This is why I love to sleep
It feels like I’m dead
Dreaming of what I want to come true
Wishing to stay asleep
Suicides thoughts are my drugs...I need it to keep me standing
But I dont want to be an addict
Probably one day I wouldn’t need to worry about waking up
Maybe my dream will come true
Maybe...my dream will be my reality

Sweet angel from above
They sent you to this world full of evil
Thinking you would find love but instead you found hatred
They yanked and plucked your feathers and laughed until you were naked
And left you helpless and alone in the dark
I'm sorry they did that
You were only trying to find love
But instead they broke your wings because you were different
They wanted to make you like them
And that was human

anxiety is like a prison
it keeps you locked up
sometimes you know when you're coming out
and sometimes you don't
sometimes it can be forever and sometimes it can be an execution

anxiety is like the worst disease you can have
it convinces your brain
that something is hurting you
making you shut down your body
sometimes it just disappears ...for now

anxiety is like a haunted house
it seems pretty cool and scary to go into
but once it scares you to a point
you're never gonna want to come back


anxiety is like a voice following you
it's like the other half of you....but bad
it knows your insecurities,weaknesses, and mistakes
and uses them against you
it's to the point where that would be the
only voice you can hear

anxiety is like the society
it breaks your whole world apart
it abuses it, spits on it , chews it
then spits it back out

anxiety is like your best friend
but your worst enemy
it will comfort you
then make you feel like ****

and that's what it feels like have ...anxiety

As she hides behind a mask
with pain and fear
She makes sure to keep it unkown
So no one comes near
Shes been fighting years after years
And shedding more tears
never in front of nobody
she will take off her clothes
Because her story would be told
You would look at her and you would never know
That shes the type of girl
That wants to go
But beneath her skin is someone you would want to know
you won't get that far because how the world made her
her heart is so cold
she doesn't want you to be affected
on what she's going through
so she will cover up all the information and clues
and she will comfort you with lies
If you really want to help her
and know her story
just look into her eyes

would I make it ?
does he like me ?
would I be successful?
will I make through high school?
why don't they like me ?
why are they looking at me ?
what grade did I get on all my subjects ?
is my family proud of me ?
probably not
will I go to college?
maybe if I don't pass the exam?
why are people so mean?
how can I solve this problem ?
what do I want to be when I get older?
maybe a ..vet...or a construction worker....or maybe a psychologist
am I good enough?
why does god let these things happen?
why do I feel so worthless?
why am I constantly thinking?
why cant I rest ?
why am I thinking about constantly thinking
I cant help to think
because that's all I do
I think about everything
and I don't know why
my mind overflows with questions, thoughts, what ifs and more  
I over think a lot
my mind is overwhelming to the point my brain might collapse or dysfunction
I cant help to think about when will this be over
.....im over thinking to much

she loves him
but shes going insane
trying to drive the sin away
while the temptation is trying to slither into her mind
and ruin her relationship
as she shakes and peals her skin of her fingers with her nail
knowing nobody can here her silent cries
shes on the edge of temptation
shes loves him with all of her heart and soul
but knowing that sin lingers in this world
shes trying to build a  brick wall around her trust
but knowing temptation slithers through the cracks of the wall
to inject the sins into her heart
to poison it with temptation
as she tries to fight them off
the poison makes her weaker and weaker everyday
while her wall is starting to collapse
she starts to cry while she cant push the sin off her
but sin makes her feel relief, safe and loved
as shes falls for the sins scheme
and runs away with sin
knowing she left behind her heart and soul  
her mind runs away with temptation
her lover watches her escape with  tears rolling down his eyes
knowing he felt like he wasn't good enough because
this wouldn't have happened if only he filled in her brick wall with more cement

seeing the pain through your eyes
knowing everything i do doesn't work
i cant help
your emotionally drained
each scar on your body because of the war you faced
and it gave you something to remember
every cut you made
i see a little plant growing out your wound
and its getting bigger and bigger
until it sprouts to a beautiful rose
sometimes a tulip or even a daisy
its sad having to see you suffer
to finally see your beauty force itself out your body
wanting to breathe
wanting to grow
the more it grows
the closer to your death
your body is protecting your garden
little by little
the thorns pricking at your skin to escape
finally the blade took charge to unleash the beauty of those flowers
knowing its best to escape
because your dying
knowing i cant help you
sadly i have to watch your flowers grow
and the worse part about it
some people are watering the plants
and its not even you

the curtains opened
the show started off great
it lasted for a while before it was to late
all the lights flashing on her beautiful face
she was having a great time
but she had to be careful just in case
she showed the talents she can do and she also embraced
she showed the whole world what she can do
but the works that she did it showed the truth
she enjoyed what she did it expressed her true colors
she did an amazing job but sadly the show was over
when the audience clapped and cheered she was uncertain
and before you know it
in the blink of an eye
that's were it was time to close the curtains

that one guy I saw that afternoon
he looked strangely odd
I didn't even bother to introduce myself
but surprisingly he came to me
that first glance
I knew he was the one
not noticing his silver tongue
I fell in love
I gave him everything
I was their for him
I supported him
I loved him
the only thing he had was his silver tongue
he only had his compliments which didn't bother
but he hasn't showed it with action
that day he went to work
I haven't seen him ever since
I only remember the foot steps he left on the muddy ground
so that afternoon I went to the same place to see if he will come back
but he never did
I guess I never loved him
I fell in love with his silver tongue

She called herself fat
I questioned why ?
first of all why do you feel bad about yourself?
she said I just do
well let me tell you
their cant be no other reason besides SOCIETY
because if you think about it
you would of been fine with yourself if it wasn't for someone calling you fat or something
here's 2 examples
Adam and Eve they were both naked and didn't think anything about each other
you didn't hear them saying "oh your fat" or "oh your skinny" NO you didn't
its called acceptance
judgement slipped itself into this world
switch it around maybe if it wasn't ok to be skinny
maybe if being fat was the new trend
people wouldn't see nothing wrong with being fat but they would of saw something wrong with being skinny
when theirs nothing wrong with neither of them
its just society putting labels on people and things
we should love ourselves no matter what
its just these cruel hatred people that want to bring you down
your beautiful no matter what
if you want to be skinny go right ahead but don't let society change you
don't let a guy or a girl change
you don't let NOBODY change you
if you want to change for you, for your health go right a head theirs nothing wrong
with you wanting to improve on yourself but their is something wrong if you letting society change you to be like them, to be the same
the only reason people bring you down is because some people are scared to be themselves because of society
well let me tell you this you have courage if your being yourself
you don't care about what others say
its good to be different then being the same  
one day someone will love you for you
not for you appearances or figure
but for you
before that happens you need to love yourself first
theirs NOTHING wrong with being fat or skinny
REMEMBER THAT
its just society and your mind that makes it seem like their is

Don't call me hot
don't call me ****
don't call me gorgeous
don't call me cute
I don't want to be called that
the proper word is "beautiful"

She said
I'm not beautiful
I'm a disaster
I'm destruction
I'm ugly

He said
No your not
that's what you see and try to believe
in your reflection
what I see is beauty
the same girl that never changed herself to be someone else
she's *******
especially in my eyes
I just cant explain how beautiful you are
you create the demons
but in my eyes
your angels destroy them

You are so beautiful
you are one of a kind
I cant help from noticing you
and staring into your eyes
your silky brown hair that flows down to your back
or the freckles on your face that lights up Gods place
and don't forget that beautiful smile
that you try to keep in a straight line
but you cant
because you love to laugh and smile
one phrase you like to say is " I'm fine "
I wish you were here
but your just an imaged that I made up in my mind

crying alone in the dark
looking at my body with so many marks
stroking my scars that people made
wishing they can all fade away
I get out from my corner
look in the mirror and see myself
grab the box off the shelf
take my friend out that brings me joy
slide the blade across my wrist
hearing the sounds of the devils hiss
crying with so much pain
while blood is pouring down like rain
I feel myself slowly drained
look up at the ceiling
praying to god to give me healing
this is sad that I have these feelings
I just want to be happy
I didn't choose to feel this way
this is because of all the pain
with laughter and remarks
all these cold hearts
hug myself with my ****** arms
take away this self harm
someday this suffering will come to end
and I'll hopefully go to heaven