It hurts knowing the person you thought was your friend never wanted to be your friend showing up at your locker every day to say "hey" passing notes listening picking on each other motivating each other I thought he was my friend he only did those things because he expected more he didn't want to be my friend he wanted to be my boyfriend yet he knew I wasn't looking for anything and now he's gone because when he popped the question I said....no I'm not hurt because of what he was trying to do I am hurt that the fact he did those things and yet I thought he was doing those things because he was my friend
My past, regrets, mistakes, demons, you name it pushes down the blade on my wrist I am just left with the mess that they made My job is to clean what they left
The only thing I miss about my ex is that he use to remind me mostly every day about how beautiful I was even when I looked a mess or even dressed up he would say "you are so beautiful" I actually started believing him I got so use to it I expected it even.....when he left
Its sad to say it now when someone calls me beautiful I cringe because they don't say it the way he said it
I told her " I don't want to lose you, I don't want you to die " But before I can say anything else she yelled " you already lost me along time ago, I'm just a walking body