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You think you have the upper hand?
Ha! I say to you, good sir
Ha I say, you delusional fool

Bring it on
Your hurtful words
The hidden threat behind the syllables

Careful what I wish for?
Nay, if I actually get what I wished for
Then you would be a man

You would treat her with respect
With dignity and honor
But it is a failed wish on you

So go ahead
Do your worse
Just try to reach me up here
Starlit lady read my strife
Tell me something of my life 
Tell me lady what's your theory
Draw a card to hear my query 

First I see a table setting 
Nine cups maybe at a wedding 
That oh so long ago had passed 
Since time went quickly, oh so fast

But those cups are upside down

Lady whispered with a frown
I see much effort has been sworn
A whisper of reward was torn 

Now there is a break in space 
Away from ruffles and the lace
Justice now prevails, the savior
Mental clarity in your favor 

Slashing at their every word
A queen you stand now with a sword
Standing tall and shining bright
Independent of their plight

Shackled in your mind I see
Five more cups scattered in glee
The past is clouding up your mind 
Those little thoughts you always find

And yet another sword shall lay 
Amung the cups in a display
Of a king so very fierce
Your body now his sword has pierced

Four fires lit, four branches broken 
Leaving wands now for a token 
Though broken wands matter not 
Apathy, my friend, cannot be fought.


She took a breath, her face contorted
Some issues you need rather sorted
Then I begged her to move on
Before night left and came the dawn

The queen has fallen from her throne *
Regret I now heard in her tone 
Eight swords have pierced her body so
She feels restricted and alone 

Though now I see a knight has rode
To the aid of your abode
To lay his sword down for your life
Offer An answer to your strife 

How I knew what she had meant
I slumped forward, my neck bent
Trying hard to hold back tears
Trying to hold back my fears

She did not know what he had said
How he got into my head
He is my friend, so very close 
He is the one I trust the most

He was kind and gentle in a way
Talking things I'd never meant to say 
He offered me a lovely future 
But without my love, it would be torture

Love me, not him!* He had pleaded
I told him not to be conceited
He told me it was not conceit 
But hung his head, in defeat

Think about your future, love
You're caged just like a palace dove
So long I want to see you soar
so long I need to hear you roar

You shine so brightly in my eyes 
To him, you're just another prize *
I love him not you, please understand
His heart then cracked inside my hand 

You're afraid,* the starlit lady spoke
Not of this knight, not of this bloke
But of title you'll inherit 
Drama queen that has no merit


She tapped her finger on the card
I know you think it's very hard 
The queen here tells me you are strong
Though you've picked up just a wand

So now a queen of sword no more
A knight of sword came to your door
A queen of wands is now your name 
A knight of wands is now your claim

The knight brings forward no solution
No ending and no resolution
Though this should be the very end
Conflict I see now is your friend


Starlit lady now has spoken 
I'd never felt so very broken 
*It doesn't seem you have a choice *
I could not seem to find my voice 

I picked the cards and set them straight 
Now all I had to do was wait
I found no answers to my plight
Nor a way to set it right

I put the deck into its case
And then I lifted up my face
To stare directly at the lady 
Who was now so quickly fading 

She faded back into my mind
I'd never felt so very blind
For the lady was replaced
By a reflection of my face
Thanks for making me feel like ****.

Thanks for making me feel insignificant,

Thanks for showing me that no matter how bad it is, it can always get worse.

Thanks for letting me know that I will always have to fix all of my problems by myself.

Thanks for not letting me hit rock bottom, just keep digging that hole and let me keep falling.

Thanks for filling me with useless hope that I could be a better person only to be reminded of all my failures.

Thanks for taking me off that pedestal only to throw me in the garbage.

Thanks for tossing me in the air, only to let me hit the ground and shatter into a million pieces

Thanks for just sweeping them to the side along with the dirt on the floor.

Just.

Thanks.
You're a child
Taking your frustrations out on me
When I did nothing wrong

Before any of this got complicated
I want you to remember
I was your friend first

Friends don't make friends hurt
And seeing how easy it is to push me away?
Guess we weren't that close

It's not my fault
I didn't do anything wrong
This is all on you

Though you're not gonna like what happens next
Because I live life with no regrets
I thought I'd have more time

Time to gather my thoughts
On what I'd want to say to you
But I'll let you know

It's not my ******* fault
I'm done waiting for people to get their **** together in order to involve me in their life. I didn't complicate their life, but I'm the first one to get cut out when the going gets tough. I'm the one causing stress when I don't even know why they're stressed in the first place? Makes no sense to me. So I'm done for now.
I hate the way things turned out
That your mere presence
Makes me angry
Because I'm right here
And I'm being ignored
And I hate that you ******* look at me
When you think I don't know
Or do I know
Because I hate this feeling
That everything is in my head
And that you never cared
Because you accused me of not caring
But it makes me angry
And once I realize I'm consumed by hate
I get sad
And lonely
Even in a room full of people
I hate that the person in my dreams
Is not the person in my reality
Because now I know
That everybody lies.
You should suffer
Like you made me suffer
And it's just so unfair
That you can pick yourself up
Like nothing
And continue

I guess I now know
Like I knew with that stupid boy
Like I knew with the other fool
They didn't really love me
You didn't really love me

You just wanted some sort of petty revenge
To make me suffer
I wasnt with you
I suffered
I was with you
I suffered
I still suffer

You took away my trust
My free will
Gave me a million insecurities
That no one should have to deal with
And now

You get to move on?
You get to love again?
You dont deserve it

I was so confused
I thought I was jealous
I thought I had regrets

But I don't

You ****** me up so bad I couldn't tell what I was feeling until I thought
Hours
Online
Stalking like a mad woman
Trying to find an explanation

And then I found it
I was mad about the injustice of it all
I get to be broken
And you get to walk away
Without any blood on your hands
Empty words pour over one another and we bath in it
I want to *****. Pinkies crossed, keep my own blood promise.
Clasp raised hands, you're just two ******* grand.
While the empty crowds and fake personalities go crazy in the stands,
And the non-imaginary friends rally to take a stand.
Judge me, judge them until you're at full self esteem
Shiny train wreck tracks, two tons more and full steam
Ahead, altered image in your head to fit the rhyme and time before we split
Apart into the tiniest of atoms, I wish you'd shatter and splatter already,
70% water and you're still pretty **** heavy,
Though if by mass or volume remains a mystery.
Open eyes, twisted spine, take your shoes, give you mine
The top of the pond is warm, but just wait until the dark fills the lake,
And the hopping waterbugs overtake and your body is no longer your own.
Queen, **** it, King, sit on my throne,
And look at the useless fruitfulness that I have grown.
Trust you as far as I could throw a stone and it landed among the seeds I'd sown,
Silver puddle reflects to me that the you I'd known has left me all alone.
Friendship without sun drowns us in a matter of hours
***** fertilizer and weeds choke out the flowers.
And all the while this ***** dreadful night
Can taste the lightness of our fright, and be remembered as the day,
That the privlaged beggers finally picked a fight.
*******, we used to care about one another
Though I won't say we've grown up or apart,
Our dimensions seem to have warped an awful lot.
It could be that this is art in the rambling, symbolic diary sense,
But let's have some common sense, no props to those
Who cheat and repeat, force the burden of meaning on the helpless seedling.
Abstract art and children separated by a mirrored glass wall to encourage real work
And here's to the curses written inside the bathroom stall,
Embraced and erased, then forgotten years later
Memories wiped without a trace, this human race
I'll bet you can win, but I still run faster
You tricky ******* set up traps along the track
Encouraged by the sadistic master.
Paper, tin and plaster;
Save the past so she remembers the tactless *******
That was presented as a present and in the present now presents
A trickier problem than he could devise if he had tried.
Perhaps he never lied, but looked at the fingers, little miss
Scarlet tips, tried to deny but the die is dyed with fine metallic mist.
Gleaming puppy-dog eyes pour remorse, of course,
But given another pure, white sheet
Would prove even more efficient in "accidental" deceit.
So row, so row, goes the lame claim that my words manage
To stay same in your brain, gain an image of the pain and strain.
No love, never then, never again.
Continue talking, and walking apart
I'm sorry, screamed. What's that you say?
Hate and love splatter tiny red dots on the scatter plot
Flash frame, freeze for a fraction, minds captivated by action
Divide and multiply the fractions and traction,
Keeping the same, grown apart, helplessly together,
Until, comparatively, even static falls apart.
I didn't lie when I said I wanted to be alone
It was a mantra I repeated
Engraved in my mind
Forever a scar on my brain

Maybe that was when I broke
When I thought I couldn't be with you
But now that I am
I'm afraid that I dragged you to hell

With me.
It comes to my attention
what a ******* hypocrite you are
whisper love into my ear
and then tear me apart

i'm very simple in how i feel
i love you with my entire soul
but my words are like silence to you
and my actions make you blind

it's fine for you to be jealous
as long as you hold me in your arms
i'm completely yours, you know it
take advantage

all i ask is that you listen
listen to my heart as you pull the trigger
as the bullet connects
as my frail glass heart shatters

and i'll bandage your fingers
as you piece it back together again
Maybe all the bitter tears
Will dry with pencil marks
Maybe the brand upon my soul
Will ache less with spoken words
But I'm afraid
That it won't help
Because I know
That it is futile
No word
No song
Not spoken
Nor heard
Can heal my bitter heart
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