KM - Hello Poetry

KM Oct 2020

I dont mean it that way
Its not a cliche
To say
Dont fall in love with me

This isnt for my benefit
A safety net
To avoid the complications
Of love

No
Just dont fall in love with me
Not because its wrong
Or because its bad

But because loving me
Is the worse thing
Anyone who has loved me
Has ever done

Please my love
Dont let me be your regret

KM Jul 2017

Some type of disease

Like a cold
Making me sick
Miserable
Unable to breathe
Making my head foggy
Annoying

Or maybe its worse
Like a deadly virus
Body sweating
Stomach curdling
Emptying its contents
Over and over
Until the taste of bile
Stay permanently
Im my mouth

But no

You
You're a cancer

Killing me slowly
Leaving subtle symptoms
Barely there
Until suddenly its all about you
All about the lies you tell
The harm you've done
And by the time you start
Making big waves
Making big impacts
Its too late
The damage is done

And the only cure is to endure
A pain worse than you
To **** myself willingly
Poison myself
In the hopes that you drown in it too

I had hoped you were just a cold

KM Dec 2016

Unfair

You should suffer
Like you made me suffer
And it's just so unfair
That you can pick yourself up
Like nothing
And continue

I guess I now know
Like I knew with that stupid boy
Like I knew with the other fool
They didn't really love me
You didn't really love me

You just wanted some sort of petty revenge
To make me suffer
I wasnt with you
I suffered
I was with you
I suffered
I still suffer

You took away my trust
My free will
Gave me a million insecurities
That no one should have to deal with
And now

You get to move on?
You get to love again?
You dont deserve it

I was so confused
I thought I was jealous
I thought I had regrets

But I don't

You ****** me up so bad I couldn't tell what I was feeling until I thought
Hours
Online
Stalking like a mad woman
Trying to find an explanation

And then I found it
I was mad about the injustice of it all
I get to be broken
And you get to walk away
Without any blood on your hands

KM Dec 2016

Semantics

I miss your ******* face
Yes your ******* face
I can almost hear you
Arguing semantics
On how one can miss
A ******* face
Like how its possible
For one to shut a ******* face
Yeah
Ouch

I still miss your ******* face
And your brown eyes
And your bright smile
Your lanky walk
The way you talk
You fingers dancing along a guitar
Your stomach gurgles
Your ticklish spots
I miss them all
Even when you'd argue semantics
Or paused a movie to ask who shot first
Forced a cartoon on me
Left me hanging

I see why you did though
And I appreciate it
I love you for it

But I still miss you
I needed you
But its alright

I've always managed on my own
Fighting tooth and nail
But I manage

And I want to thank you
Because I know you had something to do with it
Leading me to him
And yes I know
It's arguing semantics on if you really did or not
But you know me
I don't really care about arguing semantics

KM Dec 2016

That feeling

Heart breaking
Gut wrenching

Feels almost
Like drowning

But instead of choking
On water

You choke
On despair

What else is there
Why else is there

Nothing to be done
Nothing to be heard

Everything falls
On deaf ears

On ignorance
From the truth

You could never handle
My despair

You cannot handle
The storm inside of me

A fool tries
To calm the storm

A wise man
Revels in it

For it's beautiful
And wonderous

That feeling
There

I cherish it

For weak men
Fear the storm

My man
Dances with it

KM Nov 2015

Optional

To love someone
Is a choice

I have learned this the hard way

Screaming
Crying
Asking why did this have to happen to me?

It's a thing I brought on myself
Love

And when you read that word
Read it with disdain

Love is a choice
So is hate

But there is no in between with me
So I chose

I choose to hate you
With everything I have

Because if I don't?
I'll love you until it kills me.

KM Feb 2015

everybody lies

I hate the way things turned out
That your mere presence
Makes me angry
Because I'm right here
And I'm being ignored
And I hate that you ******* look at me
When you think I don't know
Or do I know
Because I hate this feeling
That everything is in my head
And that you never cared
Because you accused me of not caring
But it makes me angry
And once I realize I'm consumed by hate
I get sad
And lonely
Even in a room full of people
I hate that the person in my dreams
Is not the person in my reality
Because now I know
That everybody lies.