I grew out of my skin before my tenth birthday.

and left my childhood innocence stranded somewhere on the city streets for a couple of bucks
And
I never really liked the twist and turns of the highways here but they've always felt the closest to home
always lost, always moving in the wrong direction.

I've sold my soul to demons without names
and I'm guilty of falling in love with places more then people.

I grew out of my skin like I grew out of my mind
slowly and then all at once.

the whispers in the hallways
feed me the same
"stray in the reins of society, it will guide you, *******"
telling me I'm taking the wrong path
But they can't tell the sea from the shore

and I would have
drifted for years in my own tears;

*if the ship didn't sink and take my ignorance with it..

i've been alive sixteen years, four months and twenty two seconds
and I still get fooled by a pretty face

words are words
but when she looks at you like that, they become lies hidden in poems
every syllable
stretched   out  with those soft lips
are all ***** lies.
and underneath that skin, darling..
you're still a bag of bones like all the rest of us
trying to fit together like broken puzzle pieces
desperately seeking normality
and you can't change a thing
and no matter how you spin it
under that skin you live in
its a rotting cage

that stinks of ugly.

She was the girl in class they told to sit still
she was the one they wrote about on bathroom stalls
Ribs protruding like archaic armor
Ready to snap
Ready to go


It wasn't a little girls fairytale I promise
Because she came to you in your darkest dreams
And sang you the prettiest songs while you dreamed a million deaths and awoke in agony as you realized you were still breathing.

And the shivers down your spine were no match for the coldness in her heart
Her black wings covered her naked back
But all she was really trying to hide were the scars
she was foolish like me once too
She painted stories of blue, her sadness  plastered on her bones for all to see
a love mistook for lust
what a shame
Skinny love really can't get much skinnier when your out of flesh to peel
And you're starving and fresh out of  potatoes already huh?
And you've already sold your bones to some corpse who gets to dress up fancy and wear them next
And since your busy selling your soul to your demons.
Forking over all your limbs for more drugs
"save me a little slice of that broken heart, honey
After all, Misery always tastes the best served, bleeding and beating fresh out of the chest.."
And with those last words
She stretched her aching wings
bones so sore you can even hear the friction whisper
It seems her body spoke more words then she did
And
Each feather that fell from her wings hit the ground as hard as iron
She lived her life weighed down by all her burdens and regrets  
And when I asked her how she could still fly with a heart so heavy
and wings stained with iron
she simply sighed
and
melted into the night like ink on paper
She
Pale faced
Like newborn snowflakes that have never felt the harshness of the ground..
She sat breathing distance from you
Right by your bed side
Her ribs poked out of her chest like splintering toothpicks and broken  hearts  
and your world went black
catching only glimpses of
Her. lips.
So. close.
closing in on those little red rose petals you call a mouth
And you try to scream  but she devours your voice
Razors from her tongue shredding your cheeks into little bite sized pieces
And then you see it.. your life..your meaningless pathetic life.. hovering right above your reach
and you start to wonder if it all came down to this


Your eyes flutter open....


lips are hovering over your life drained face
and before you know it
her blood stained teeth slowly form into a pink sinister smirk that later turns into a grimace
and you can see that in between her teeth are little parts of you
like petite appetizers
Ripe for the picking
she swallows the rest of the flesh that envelops her throat
And
Licks her chops
Like she missed the taste of spilled blood


The rooms now full of chatter
the guests don't have very good manners
and
If you open your eyes and close your ears
The doctors around my hospital bed sound like crickets
And I think if I could be anywhere in the world right now we would be by the lake.
shes not scared to take you away so you shouldn't be either,
There is no point running from death
It's inevitable.
You are already chained to a world that is not entirely your own and tethered to a universe full of secrets

So while you were running to nowhere land,  can I ask you where you were?
and how far you got before time caught up?
and while i was lying half dead in that hospital bed
You we're dying merely a world away.

I have been waiting for this day for my whole life
and
She's still by my bed side black wings draped over my face..
The day has come where i can finally leave for good
but
I packed my suitcase full to the brim, three nights before, and something is still missing
And as you search amongst the darkness

*Her porcelain hands
reach out to guide you

cold as frost
But somehow
still managing
to leave
 blisters on your skin

She gave her heart to him
as he held her head under water, and when he entangled his hands in her curls
or when his words cut like the blade she used oh, so long ago
Her only response we're the bubbles of air that followed her silence..

her legs buckled like splintering twigs as he touched her,
she was really shaking and scared but he didn't care
and all those nights she spent crying;
come morning
her lips still formed poems of devotion and his arms still said she was safe.
and while he was
Too busy priding himself in all the nights he took her to bed
to even notice..
I saw her slowly dying
half a word away,
and I could only listen to the sound of her
bones breaking
as she said
"i love you"
one last time.

and if theres one last thing i could tell you
i think i would like to say thank you for letting me go
and after all we did
  after everything that transpired

it's okay.

i'm okay.

because i've set you free
  and i've learned to let things be
and maybe things didn't turn out the best in the end
  but everything happens for a reason
and isn't part of loving someone knowing when to let them go?
         you are the dust
the dust that lingers
           the dust that will always remain
in a special place, on the only shelf in my heart


**and i forgive you.