i'm so tired of being tired.
i carry these rickety bones
around like extra baggage
long and far
left moving in motion like an old carousel that should have stopped working long ago
i'm there for the laughs and the smiles
always there but forever absent
on a mental vacation you could say
i am something you will grow fond of and eventually leave
and that's okay
see,
i'm not the type of girl your mother warns you about
i won't break your heart like a bottle of whiskey after having a little too much
i will stand by your side until the day my bones snap from carrying the weight of the  world
and my name turns into a r.i.p scribbled on a gravestone.

I shed sour skin like leaves
Left to rot like crumpled music notes
churning like four day old milk in my veins
and you will be my branches
Dropped.
Fallen.
And
finally
Forgotten.

My names twenty two
and these are the things I never said.

The telephone wires above my roof always remind me of the nights where we'd lay on our backs on the roof of your old Ford and just look out at stars
nothing but love between us.
The storms outside remind me of our fights
beautiful, and desructive.
And the pillow I lay my head on reminds me of your chest
soft, quiet, and a holder of secrets and makeup smudges.
That pin you gave me when i first told you that I was suicidal I still wear sometimes to remind myself that you loved me once.
That you loved me once like
stars in the sky
eternal and never ending.
that you pledged your life to me at a mere seventeen years..
I still love you you're still my star
and
I could tell you twenty two reasons why you're beautiful
as I puff out smoke signals to try to make you come back to me and just hear me out
if you tell me twenty two reasons why you left me
In the noon of the day
as if
the stars were too much for you?
Did i shine too bright or not enough?
Where we ever forever or did i believe too strongly in us.
Regardless
my name,
is twenty two
and
You made me the happiest girl in the world.
full of spring flowers
and April showers

Because on the twenty second you told me you loved me.