Beans

Beans 5d

sunset leaking through the window
tainting everything it caresses
a sickly kind of orange
sky light sky blue
turning now to red
as sunset leaks through the window
kissing drawers, kissing heads.
oh what a beauty it is
the outdoors
but somehow i find myself
separated by a door
i can only watch the
sunset leaking through the window
pen in hand and paper before me
assignments and things to do
we were not made for this story

Beans Feb 26

shut up, it's not that deep

“shut up.           .       it’s not that deep”
“you’re assu.                         .                     ming something
we didn’t.                          .                                   mean”
i guess                           .                              i guess
but it   hurts.                    .                           like blood
through bandage and cries from disadvantage
               cropped
                out from a
             memory does
           this mean cropped
         out from us cropped
            out from you from
                      them

they cropped me out of the photo to make her prettier... it's not a big deal

#ostracised

Beans Feb 19

Isaiah 53:5

eyes full of love
nail-driven hands brought healing
He misses you, child

For by His stripes we are healed

Beans Feb 11

burnt ties

it has been a month
since we lost ties
so much has happened
so much… surprise!
but sometimes i see you
your lens in my eyes
i see your frame
in a classmate
…shame

i wish when we cut ties
that i could let go of the red string
but you left me that…lingering
on my ring
finger, its
string turned out to be dyed
maybe it was delusion
when it was red and burning
but now that we’ve died
it’s really
just
burnt, no longer burning
what was red is charred
what was love is scarred
that was never love
i’m sure you know
there was never love
because you could go

do me a favour, would you please?
untie this charred string,
which we so teased

but dont take this the wrong way. it was better to have left

Beans Feb 11

Fool.

I drink from the cup
I ***** out foul poison
I drink it again.

"As a dog returns to his *****, so a fool repeats his folly" — Proverbs 26:11

Beans Feb 11

This isn't love

because this isn’t love
not even infatuation
just a mild attraction
a retroaction
from what had happened
just january
the 10th, though muddled with 11

it’s not even love
not grazing infatuation
just a wandering gaze
meeting a weak attraction
and trying to find
a fraction
of the faction
she was in

there’s no butterflies in the stomach
-maybe this is a delayed reaction
but theres a longing for attachment
maybe it’s their benefaction
maybe attraction
gives satisfaction
to a non-terminating
plan of action
to satisfy
the never satisfied

well we’ve been down this road
a bit too many times

it's more like they seem to be attracted to a person but not in the crush way. or maybe it is, because there's really no telltale sign. it's a gaze lingering over one a little longer than the other. try to satisfy the flesh with another person, showing attraction to just another person. the flesh is never satisfied. but i don't know why i can't bring myself to Jesus.

Beans Feb 9

eyes of parchment heart of steel

she sunk into the bathroom floor
eyes of parchment
longing attachment
penknife of dried ink
lying there between the sink
and her
but catches the light
into her line of sight
whispers of the wind
words out of vapour
swirl and come to her
grab it
they say
just for another day
they say
the pain will go away
they say
so she extends a hand
and fists her head
to make the voices go away
eyes of parchment
torn in two
one for them
one for You
another fist
another shriek
where is the treasure
she was supposed to reap
but she gets up
with wobbly knees
leaves the bathroom
of stingless bees

to cut or not to cut.

#sin #god