Red eyes
Have protected me
From your lies.

Blurred vision,
slurred speech,
Brought memories into reach.

Do I want to forget,
Or wish to remember,
Regardless, I am upset.

Is it wishful thinking,
Or my mind playing tricks,
All along I knew you were leaving.

As I look around me,
The room is filling with smoke,
There are people drinking, smoking,
And people snorting coke.
I guess you could say,
I ended up in the "wrong crowd" of people,
There's a banging on the door, "police, open up",
And someone looks out the peephole.
There's a cop in the doorway,
6 foot 2, brown hair, and semi-large ears,
We all scramble and scream,
"**** there's no way we're all getting out of here".
This will be fun to explain,
To my parents who thought I was studying,
"I was testing the effects of drugs,
It was ******* that I was snorting".
Come on, this isn't fair,
None of you understand me,
Lock me away in jail,
So I can plead "insanity".
I need mental help,
From a psych ward or something,
I'm willing to go, or you can baker act me,
It'd be better than doing nothing.

I just wish for once, that someone would care about me even half as much as I care about them.
Just once. I just need to know what it feels like to be loved so much by one person.
Someone.
Anyone.
I cry myself to sleep, waiting for the day that someone truly can show just how much they care about me.
Prove to me that they actually give a ****.
Until then, ill be lying here, crying.

As I sit here in silence,
Waiting, waiting, waiting,
Hoping to write about something new,
Or at least, something that's not you.
I hear nothing,
The silence is piercing,
But my brain is ringing with the sound of your name,
It's hurting my head, and is causing me pain.
I just want to move on,
I wish for new beginnings,
But you have become the center of my world,
And I am, for you, just another girl.
Help me move on,
Get out of my head,
I want you out of my heart,
Because you're tearing me apart.
But it's not a tear
That you get after
Constantly folding a piece of paper before
Ripping it.
It's more like a tear,
Jagged and rough,
With angled ends,
And no way to mend it.
Because of you,
That is what I have become.

"Turn around,
Shut your mouth,
Sit up straight,
Don't look around.
Be a lady,
That's not ladylike,
Don't dress that way,
You look like a ****.
Hold your chin up,
That's not high enough,
Now that's too high,
Don't make this tough.
Just do things right,
Won't you learn,
Do it perfect,
Or you shall burn.
Don't let this scare you,
Just be proper,
If your eyes get red,
Use the eye dropper.
Brush your teeth,
And brush them well,
If they aren't white enough,
You'll go to hell.
Comb your hair,
Get all the knots out,
Just listen to me,
And I won't have to shout.
Just be pretty,
Just be perfect,
It's not that hard,
And it's definitely worth it.
No one likes,
Girls with braids,
Or buns, or ponytails,
Those aren't cool these days.
Powder your face,
Oily skin is a no-no,
Leave your face bare,
And you'll look like a hobo.
Stay in fashion,
And in style,
And you'll fit in,
For a while.
Until they notice your personality,
Sad as it may be,
You need to be different than yourself,
Heck, be more like me.
The more alike we all are,
The better it will be,
Because we'll stop being, him and her,
And we'll start being we."

Music; an expression of emotion, written in such a way that to anyone else would've been impossible to craft exactly that way, with a beat, melody, harmony, counter melody, vocals that take away the hurt, but at the same time bring old feelings rushing back, making you relive all those painful memories. It's almost soothing to do nothing but blankly stare at a wall or the ceiling while music that perfectly locks with your current emotional state is playing nearby. It's comforting to understand that the writer of that music felt exactly the way you do, for the same or possibly a different reason. I don't know why it's comforting when other people are in the same ****** situation as you, but for some reason it brings this feeling of relief, knowing that we're all in the same boat, going through the same problems, and all self-destructing in our personal time-bomb capsules, or bodies as I guess most people would refer to them. For many of us the timer on our bombs is running low, and pretty soon we'll be blown to pieces, but hey, at least there are others just like us, right? Who knows, or cares, because I sure as hell don't, but maybe that's the problem, maybe that's my problem, none of us care or want to, and its not just about certain things like work, drama, or being the best at something, anything for that matter, but we collectively find ourselves without interest in anything or anyone. Music touches the soul in a way that nothing else can. It repairs the broken pieces, temporarily if nothing else, and it aids the scratches, bumps, and bruises, but our hearts and souls are forever scarred, and music is the only thing to touch those scars so tenderly. Music is more than a friend or family, it has a special place in my heart, with a label of where it belongs, so nothing else takes up that space, without it, my heart would have a permanently empty hole. But that's all my heart is anyway.

If I could put myself into your shoes,
Absorb the hurt and the blues you're going through,
Then give back your shoes,
All clean from pain,
Just so you wouldn't have that agony,
I would do it.
If I could trade all the good things in my life,
For all the bad in yours, I would trade them,
So that you could live happily,
Yes, I would do it.
If I could trade my life, for your happiness,
I wouldn't hesitate to make that offer,
In an off, pulsating, heart-beat, I would trade everything I am
For you to be happy, because,
You see,
That's all I want.
And I would do it.
This isn't some sort of mockery,
Or "want to be" love poem,
But the truth behind my loving friendship for you,
Whether you see it or not,
I'd give up my last breath,
So you could smile one more time,
Yes, I would do it.
It's in moments like these,
Where I contemplate the entirety of my existence,
Because I would end my world,
For you to have an exciting and happy life,
Don't question that, because,
Yes, I would do it,
But is that the right mindset?
Giving up everything you have, life included,
For the betterment of someone else?
I feel I'm at the point of choosing,
The betterment of someone else,
Over the betterment of myself,
And believe me,
I would do it.
You're the axle of my world,
Part of the reason my world is spinning,
There isn't anyone else I'd want
Pulling on my heart-strings,
Which is why, I'd give it all up for you,
I want you to know this, because,
I truly mean every word I say, and,
I would do it.