The weight on my shoulders,
The pressure on my spine,
I was pulled from the wreckage,
Lucky to be alive.

But am I really lucky?
What is there for me to live for?
The guilt, pain, being a burden,
And others, always expecting more?

My body aches and cracks,
Like I am old and frail,
But I'm just a kid, a teenager,
With a few loose nails.

******* up and odd,
I had my whole life planned out,
But once I was pulled from the wreckage,
Those plans have turned to doubts.

We're coming to an end,
We'll soon have a new beginning,
But as of right now,
It's we that are ending.

It's been forever,
Four painful and tiring years,
But in that time,
It's you that shed no tears.

I was broken,
I spent everyday crying,
I got so sick,
I ended up in the hospital, dying.

But you didn't care,
No, you just kept on with your life,
I don't stop thinking about you,
But you haven't thought about me twice.

You ended it,
And cut me out of your world,
Then three days later,
You were onto another girl.

It's been a long four years,
But that time has finally come to end,
And look,
We still have loose ends, that we never got to mend.

So long, my love,
Though you've forgotten I exist,
See you in the next four years,
I wish against it, but that's the plot twist.

Death;
It makes most people
Uncomfortable or sad,
But not me.
Life;
Is joyous and great
For most of the population,
But not me.
Is death the
"After life" or
Is there even an
After life?
Or maybe life
Is the prequel
To death,
Who knows?

We go through every day,
With struggles and hardships,
Benefits and positivities,
All for what?

We seek corrections for our faults,
And some strive for perfection,
Others try to get by, unnoticed,
And without detection.

We breathe without thinking,
So we have time to know more,
But if we think without breathing,
We will be no more.

The point is, we're all here,
All on this earth,
All for what?
To end up buried in the dirt?

I'm just saying,
I don't see the point in living,
But if I die prematurely,
Will God be forgiving?

I know He's forgiving,
I've been taught that my whole life,
But you see, I'm having this
Battle inside me, or maybe it's a small strife.

I don't really know the point of this,
Or main idea, or theme,
I've just let a lot build up,
And now I want to scream.

It's like finding a lost puppy
That you want to keep for your own,
But you have to return it to
It's original home.

I don't know what's gotten into me,
I'm a wreck, a mess, ******* up,
I guess I just need to calm down,
Before I blow up.

Onward I'll go with my life,
Trying to make something good out of it,
Hoping I don't get torn down again, soon,
With every uphill, a downhill will hit.

I've been living in sadness,
Deep inside my heart,
My blood aches in my veins,
And it tears me apart.
The mention of your name,
Sends me hurdling down,
And leaves me with nothing
To rely on, except the ground.
My eyes fill with tears,
My heart and brain fill with fears,
Yet it's been so long;
Almost three and a half years.
The worst day of my life,
Was the day you broke my heart,
You ripped it out and
Tore me apart.
I'll never forgive you,
For the pain you've caused me,
I've suffered for over three years,
While you never shed a single tear.
You weren't hurt,
Of course you were alright,
While I spend most of my time,
Crying myself to sleep at night.
All the tears I've shed,
Along with blood from my veins,
And the bottles I've drank,
Are all linked with your name.
So remember, Chris,
The next time you get inside
A girl's metastasizing heart,
Don't cut your way out;
Because, it will tear her apart.
Just let her heart grow,
Swelling in your illness,
Pretty soon the love will **** her,
And you'll be held as a witness.
Or maybe they'll convict you,
Of your torturous crime,
Getting girls to trust you,
Before you rip out their heart and spine.
Now remember, Chris,
I fell deeply in love with you,
You said to me, those three words,
But it was meaningless to you.
You throw your words around,
Like you did with my heart,
I loved you then, I love you now,
I haven't stopped loving you, since the start.
So farewell, my true love,
The past four years have been great,
Just kidding, they've ******,
Because it's also you, that I hate.
Yes, I hate you and love you,
It still confuses me,
I want you to suffer,
But I still want the two of us to be we.
I hate you and I love you,
I don't know what to feel,
It'd be nice if I just woke up,
And none of this was real.
Too bad I can't do that,
Just erase a large part of my life,
My world since you left me,
Has been a continuous strife.
A strife is too small,
Without you, it's been a war,
But were you the enemy,
Or what I was fighting for?
You're last words broke my heart,
Like an atom bomb inside me,
You ran off to avoid the shock,
While I just laid there, dying.

Broken and battered,
With a heart that's no better,
You stretched out my heart-strings,
And now they're all tethered.

People call me independent,
But I see it as alone,
I made my heart a place
For you to call home.

But you destroyed it,
You made a mess of the place,
And all the distress you have caused me,
Can be seen on my face.

You were always welcome,
And you took advantage of that,
You nested yourself in my heart,
Like a little burrow for a rat.

You scratched and clawed,
But I never kicked you out,
You were always welcome,
And you still are, without a doubt.

You see, it was love, real love,
That's what I felt for you,
You said you loved me,
But that was a lie too.

My dying wish
Is to hate myself less,
Love others more,
And stop being depressed.
To pick myself up
And move on, not regress.
But these feelings
Are hard to suppress;
All the distress you put me in,
Still shows to this day,
You can see it on my face,
I doubt it'll ever go away.
But maybe if im lucky,
My wish might come true,
My life would be over,
And thats when I'll get over you.

As I stare, deeper and deeper,
Into the abyss, before me,
It all becomes quite clear,
That the abyss was just a mirror.

Staring blindly into myself,
Made me realize how empty I am,
Not to mention how broken,
But that's best left unspoken.

I am empty, and broken,
Like a car on the side of the highway,
Or better yet, a black hole;
I have a body, but lack a soul.

I am an abyss of darkness,
I am empty and useless to all,
I haven't surmounted to much at all,
It's because of you; you made me fall.