A dark night
Littered with stars and rain
   freshwater claims a sliver of consciousness
A simple word
   a lonely question
     "Why?"
You take my face into your hands
   letting your eyes close on minor chords
It's almost silent
   save for piano
     and nervous breathing
Your forehead on mine seems to speak
   directly to my thoughts
an arrow to my subconscious
An injection to my strength
   weakness in quiet trembles
lovely petals of black and grey
falling on our awestruck countenances
   augmenting the watery streaks of light
strewn sideways across your freckled skin
A hesitant thirst
   not eager to be quenched
finally satisfied
   Consent in closed eyes and soft pressure
Fingers caught lovelily in strands
   of tired hair

if you deleted my number
it would hurt more
than every ****** thing
put together
and here's why

when i broke down on you
in february
i said i was just another girl
and you told me no,
you were you and i was me
and right then
we mattered
not as a unit, but as people
separate entities

here's the catch
you said ten, fifteen years from now
sure -- i might be just another girl

it's only been two
two years
if you started blurring me together now
with the other people who are just
taking up space
in your memory

i
think
i'd
die.

Oh,
      how your words drown my tormented soul in
                    nothing but their warm currents,
                            they caress down my neck and rest themselves on my chest
                                              to find my uneven heartbeat nonetheless.

                                                               ­                                        And,
                                                            ­             I regret to inform you
                                      my wants stay hidden with time & space above
                          for I had never imagined,
      that it would be me you to want love

A dream,
     the only comparison I would find suitable to describe you
                                                    one million miles away,
                                                           next time you wander the streets at night
                                                                ­         find my reflection in the puddles
                                                                ­              seeping through your woven fibre shoes

                                                          ­           I find myself hoping,
                                                      not­ to lose you
for that would be a calamity I could not bear
                I would never hear my name on your lips
                                   Or feel your steady hands make their way through my hair

                                                               ­  At the top of your lungs,
                                                      sing­ to me
                    for I long to hear your voice
       & this time,
the waves will carry it close to me

Daisy petals & orchid blooms
          rest tentatively in the concave of my neck
                  a pattern of small petals reveal themselves past my clavicles
                         down my sternum
                               covering the rosy buds atop my soft breast

                                              Sir,
      ­                                  will you brush them away
                
                 with a kiss?
                                                           ­         give me
                                  someone
                                                         to hold
                              give me
                                                    starlit hours,
     seconds,
                   to miss.

I'm awful
Pathetic
Worthless
No good
Stupid
Naïve
Dumb
Hurtful
Torturous

A *****
An idiot
And a liar

And I'm never
Going to be
Good enough

*Repeat. Increase speed.