Why is the first one gone
always the last to forget?
When the memories abound,
But the presence still lacks.
The weight of the world,
It seemed so intimidating.
But the truth of it all,
I've just stopped caring.
My vision is shaky,
My judgment is rotten,
I don't even remember
The good I've forgotten.
Senses are dulled,
Retro-vision: enabled.
Repeat all the stories
Until they become fables.
The tensions will mount,
Like mercury rising.
We'll deal and cope,
Find something to put the lies in.
Move on, forget,
remember, forgive.
Roll with the punches,
As long as you live.


But sometimes... Sometimes they wont.

Well I don't know what to say,
I'm almost glad you didn't stay.
This way I'll have never disappointed you.
At least you're far away,
While I keep my demons at bay.
In my head I've already anointed you.

Canonized in the depths of my mind,
Somewhere I thought no one would find.
I guess I'm not as clever as I thought,
I didn't learn the lessons you taught.

I still have myself fooled into thinking that someday you'll come back, homesick for what used to be.
****, I don't even know if you could find the time to think about me.
I'd be shocked and speechless should my ears ever find the sound of your voice somewhere behind,
Coaxing my life back to juvenile delinquencies when I didn't have half this ****** up mind.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you,
What I no doubt know you already knew,
That I still think about the past.
My fingers raw from counting the days,
long now passed in a vicious haze.
well the fire we started just turned to ash.

so this hole that's been burning in the pit of my chest has done nothing but eat away at my ribs and lungs.
It's been burning away since the days we got lost when we were young.
Just like the house we saw on Graham,
With the burned out windows and it's blackened walls,
I hear the aching in my heart, so lonely in this empty flesh,
It sounds like a ghost as it calls.

I keep calling your name, but you'll never answer.
The sooner I accept that, the better.
Just know I'll pick up where we left off.
I'll try to move on, but I don't think I'm that strong.

they're all just tired of her
twisted games her
silly need to be wanted
and desire for destruction
that leads them all
into hell's fire and
inflames their souls their
hearts are in fractions

over a crazy girl who doesn't
even care or even know
what she is doing
she is too busy getting high
breathing in life and
feeling unstoppable or
sometimes unapproachable
sometimes she wants to die

she is tired too of her broken
mind and its broken
thoughts which drive her to
actions so irrational
that hurt those she loves
those around her who
tire of being there to care
when she always falls

every week or every day she
becomes a crisis and breaks
into shards only held
together with her madness
by starving and purging
by cutting and crying she
remains alive in one piece
despite her sadness

but those around her are now
exhausted by her drama not
able to take another day
they love her but they must
say goodbye before she
burns them out like her own eyes
her own soul is dead now
she is alone with her disgust

for herself and her own corpse
maggot-ridden and sad
she is left to mourn those
she swore she'd never miss
she said she didn't need
anyone or their condescenscion
and help but now alone
she doesn't want to be like this

*© Tara India.

I smile through the blood
And laugh with every hit
Smell the ***** on his breath
Won't be the last time yet 
Got scabs on his forearms 
And anger in his eyes 
Throws me around and 
My cracked lips smeared
With his hate coming down in 
Ruby red droplets
He grabs me and hates me 
But I already forgave him
For tomorrows bruises
Long as I don't lose him 
Big as a rock 
Only thing that anchors me
But he is lost in his own sea
I see him drowning in his eyes 
Confusion sweeping over him 
Lays himself down on the couch 
And I flee to our room 
And land on the bed
Feeling skin puff up
Here and and there
Feelings forgotten with each
Band aid,
Will I ever be loved? 
I wipe the blood from my mouth an spit it out, grinning
Big and laughing,
No, no one could ever love
A ****** skinny fool
Like me.

I thought of being an artist
A career I’ve always dreamed
But perhaps I wasn't the smartest
It wasn’t as it seemed

The lines disconnect and break
These colors a garish hue
A piece most bleak and fake
Is one I always rue

My hands mislead my mind
Unable to recreate for me
The picture I imagined, I find
This frustration a hefty fee

Art is expression, or so they say
But how can I express, I ask,
When my art only blocks the way
And proves a more daunting task?

i. "Why did the number of parking tickets spike
when Persephone was carried off to the underworld?
Demeter wasn't working."
She liked greek mythology puns.
It was a good thing I was creative.

ii. Truth or Dare, I asked her what
was the best decision she's ever made.
she answered with, "In 7th grade I named my puppy Achilles,
so when I saw him I could say, 'Achilles, heel!'"

iii. It took me two weeks to realise that
when we held hands, I wasn't really
holding her hand, but a chainsaw,
ready to slash through anything that stood in our way like
Hercules chopping off the Hydra's head.
I was immortal.

iv. August eleventh; 9 PM
we watched for the meteor shower.
I connected the freckles splayed upon her knee,
told her they looked like the constellation of Cassiopeia.
"Be Sirius" she jested.

v. She had a bad habit
of smoking at the beach and I
Wondered if she knew that with
every single flick of ash into the water,
Poseidon was cursing her to the River Styx.

vi. Headaches visited her often, I joked that
maybe she was getting ready to birth
a Goddess from her cranium. She
did not find it clever.

vii. You could say we became like Aphrodite and
Hephaestus. I, longing for her. She,
lusting after another. A synonym for her
headaches would be me.

viii. Apparently if you hack off a Hydra head, two
would grow to replace it. Knowing this sooner
probably would have saved me from numerous
amounts of Kleenex and chocolate.

ix. She left me a note on the dresser,
"Fun fact: Medusa's favourite cheese was
Gorgon-zola. PS - you remind me
of Medusa, please remember to brush your hair."
She reminds of Medusa as well, I do not doubt that if we
meet again, her eyes would still turn me into
stone.

you know what it takes
you know what's the price
there isn't a love without a heartbreak
without unpleasant surprise!

you know how it breaks
you know about its curse
there isn't a love without a heartache
without bruises and scars!

you know the stakes are high
you know it takes your all
there isn't a love without a sigh
without the pain of fall!

you know its tearing claws
you know it leaves you hurt
still you love because
you believe it in your heart!