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I weave the loom of memory anew
Which I, with haste, undo each night
A living past (if past it is)
Still nascent, quickly flies

So ask: when life's effluent breath
From cracking lips begins to leak
And when encased in body-sepulchure
My brain no longer seeks

And when my life has risen to
Its crest and falls back to the sea
How shall the fibres of my past -
Ephemeral and sanguine - cast
Headlong into death's bitter chasm
Spin anew this strange phantasm?
Few are the days allotted us
On youth's resplendent heights
For soon we fall, and fall we must
From innocence, to hellish plights

From morn to noon I fell,
Alas! From noon to dewy eve
  And still do I perceive
Descent towards stygian abyss;
                             I grieve
For days bygone and edifice which,
   with Daedalic splendor
I wrought in primal hours
   To this past, I now surrender

With childhood's cherub wings thus shorn
From Avernus cold, my prayers are Bourne
With broken lips, towards skies azure
The myriad gods I do implore

Uplift this loathsome imitation!
Coal-eyed creature of negation
Wont to build a heaven in hell
This torpid fate I must repel!
Childhood: a paradise lost, who's heights we strive, in vain, to attain once more, or a hell which, throughout out lives, we feebly attempt to correct.
Ere despondent darkness reigns unchecked
I bask with thee in dewy eventide
On earth our hearts content do intersect
As radiant ribbons streak envermeiled skies
In friendship, woes and sorrows melt away
As winter's sullen snow doth yield spring's bloom
So long as in sweet concord we're arrayed
Day be not engulfed in Night's wide womb
But if, my friend, you soon precipitate
Into a past which, fraught with Discord's seeds
With haste would hope's effulgence dissipate
The joyous tides of life will fast recede
Your every word emblazoned I extol
Though loss to come weighs heavy on my soul
To be no more; sad cure; for who would loose,
Though full of pain, this intellectual being,
Those thoughts that wander through Eternity,
To perish rather, swallowd up and lost
In the wide womb of uncreated night, [ 150 ]
Devoid of sense and motion?
'Gainst tranquility, that I may Insurrect
Ere my deliquessence grows inane
To trace life's lurid lines, and thus be wreck'd
Can be my only goal
                                     I shall not feign
A life of peace, in stagnant doldrums steep'd
But towards illumined firmament aspire
If I, by Thou, were wrought, Eternal Wretch
A thriving will must hide in Just attire

Plague me no more
Shackles and bindings
This world shall be mine
Mine is the beating
Heart, blood-rip'd life!
Fervor and strife
Volition and will
Torment and thrill!
Effulgent my future now unfurls before me
As dallying dawn doth soon become day
Ere long, these fair dreams, radiant beams
will in darkness be drenched and in anguish decay

     Effluent my past is recast, and alas!
     Each saccharine fiction soon follows
     The brain my pen gleaned
     Towards tumult hath leaned
     Once brazen, my hope is thus
     By despair swallowed
I saw your face in a dream last night
A sweet apparition of mine
Your eyes incandescent
My heart oblique
Daedalic wings fluttered too high

Somnolent night soon to threaten empyrean rays
Perfidy soon to end languishing love
Pinkish-green words busy blossoming in my ears
Serpent, you smile
I am caught in your lies

Future unsung
My clamorous past forewarns
A mind which recoils at the thought
Of loss consecrated by new malaise
Of wretched sensations soon wrought

We sit close together, our hands entwined
My eyes trace the hazy azure
The glistening embers of our fair past
Set me ablaze and shall tear us apart
Born you are to sing,
Turbid future beckoning
And your past, it seems, is urging,
This new melody emerging

Circumscribed by your death,
Consecrated from first breath,
This perpetual contortion,
Your vociferous misfortune,
Is the sonorous reprisal,
To the silence and the night,

In seraphic orchestration,
Past is settled, future sanctioned,
Though a voice belongs to you,
It is through harmony construed,

But these manifold vibrations,
Every violent incantation,
Every note new sung must blossom, languish,
Meet oblivion

Now your open wound is bleeding,
Life's full bloom, with haste, receding,
Each maenadic spasm leads you,
Supersedes you,
Life begins again,

So if a myriad of mellifluous moments multiplies,
Anticipate its inhumation 'neath the sediment of time,
For as the song, to flourish, wills each note meet its demise,
The singer is unravelled in a death he lives, but can't surmise
The Fresh blood still warm on my hands
        My mind is swimming in a sweltering sea of sordid sensations
I find myself (or shall I say I search?)
        [I] search for this self [I] naively presuppose amidst quite a convoluted calamity
This assuefaction will not do!
        I must **** myself, and start anew!
I must violently press forward!
        I will hurl myself into the chaotic clasps of Erebus to avoid this cold, dead sediment
                                        This cold, dead past.
Your cold, dead eyes
                                      Your tantalizingly tepid tone
*****, you wish to take me from myself
           You would strip me of my subjectivity
                    You would **** me, but I'm not for you
                               I must **** myself and start anew
Youth--
That vermillion sky
So tainted by the dark ink scrawled across
The pages of psychiatrists notepads
And the cool cimmerian shade
Always looming on the horizon--
Exists only in fond memories

Compassion is smothered
By the shrill vociferations of selfish regret
And hope is a vain paroxysm

Your life will be empty
Your grave will be full
Stretched to span the gulf between infinities
Encompassed by a world
I did not create
I am spoken
                        Yet I speak
And I shall savor each
Succulent strophe
Each verdant verse
For I unfurl only as a
Living tissue of signification
Grasped by my circumstances
Yet not exhausted by them
In time, this inscrutable movement
I find my freedom and demise
Soliloquizing softly to a wine and sapphire sky,
I dreamt I scales those serried summits,
Mind and heaven harmonized

Ere long, my feelings blossomed,
And again they did recede
Aery undulations, to a sordid flame do lead

For as the twilight strips away
The radiant raiment worn by day
Time, that thief of life
Is sure to steal from me my youth

— The End —