If I was smarter,
I could save the world.
If I was stronger,
I could get the girl.

If I was talented,
I'd write a song for peace.
But I'm not special,
to say the least.

I'm just here,
I'm just there.
I'm just lost,
I'm nowhere.

I'm alive,
but I'm dead.
I'm inside,
my own head.

I won't be long,
don't mind me.
My stay here,
temporary.

I'll amount,
to nothing.

Sometimes I feel,
like a tile on the floor.
A single tile,
and nothing more.

Dirt embedded,
in my cracks.
Covered in,
everyone's tracks.

Walked all over,
by the world.
In need of mending,
I go unheard.

So I lay here,
cemented in place.
Trapped in this life,
I can't escape.

Sometimes I wonder,
how much longer I have left.
I want to know how many years,
so I can make them my best.
No one knows their timeline,
but I want mine.

But if I never find out,
how much longer I'm alive,
I guess that's okay with me,
it's better a surprise.
I'll take each day with a smile,
cause that's all I can do,
and so can you.

What happened to the child,
the one that smiled all the time?
What happened to the boy,
that made the sun shine?

I don't know why I feel,
the way I seem to.
Buried in my grave, alive,
don't know what to do.

I've spent years and years,
listening to doctors say I'll be fine.
But that doesn't really mean,
I'm alright.

If I believe in the doctors,
swallow all the pills they say,
will there ever come a day,
I finally feel okay?

I wish I was taller,
stronger,
faster,
smarter.
My heart hurts,
I'm emotionally unstable,
don't sit across a table,
or a room,
and tell me about my mind.
Don't sit there and tell me,
I'll be fine.

I'm afraid of myself,
of being alone,
I have no home.

I fear the disease,
it eats at me,
and I can't stop it.

But if I keep a smile on my face,
if I wake up to a new day,
that's good enough for me,
that gives me a little faith.

Reaching back, to the past,
hoping to pull something out of the wreck.
Nothing remains, but a fiery mess,
everything has changed.

I walk alone, down a lonely road,
I can't look back,
because if I do,
I won't continue.

I fight forward, struggling onward,
I leave everything.

Every name,
every touch,
every kiss,
every bit of love.

All of it.

I'm leaving you behind.

Fear in the bones,
fears I know,
all too well.

The chaos is raw,
what's wrong,
with me.

My legs are numb,
I can't run,
trapped.

I see the fire,
burning higher,
burn alive.

Cease all ****** functions,
I've reached a junction,
I'm through.

Surrender to it,
say you knew it,
I'm weak.

Sitting here wishing on a wishing well,
praying I can escape this hell.
Slit your wrists, just to get a taste,
then spread your blood all over my face.

Let me in, but not too close,
we both know how these things go.
Just let me feel you silk soft lips,
just let me grab those bony hips.

Days go passing by,
and I still don't know why.
All the days I've spent,
and how they came and went.

Sun sets over the ocean,
I'm trapped in the Earths motion.
Rotating, day after day,
everything's repeating, the same.

Hold me tight,
don't let me go,
just let me know,
I'll be okay.

Into the late hours,
of the darkest nights,
tell me good, despite,
the blood we're losing.