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157 · Jun 2018
Hurt
Barker Jun 2018
Nothing in the universe can hurt as much as the absence of the person you love
(c)ibarker
157 · Sep 2017
Hollow
Barker Sep 2017
I have this hollowness
In my chest
No one notices it
Because I am always pretending
To be happy
(c)Ibarker
155 · Sep 2017
Listen II
Barker Sep 2017
People just want someone to listen to what they have to say
They just want someone to lend an ear for five minutes
(c)Ibarker
155 · Oct 2017
Writers
Barker Oct 2017
I find it sad that writers find their creativity through their pain and suffering. Yet I'm thankful because they saved my life
(c)ibarker
154 · Jun 2018
You XVII
Barker Jun 2018
Things I like: long walks, drives, laying on the grass, looking at the stars, reading, writing, playing music, listening to music, night, camping, out doors, laying on an empty street listening to the city, listening to nature, going on boat trips, drawing, painting, sailing, fishing, animals, reflecting, cemeteries, friends, rain, thunder, wind, ocean, watching a good TV show, watching a good movie, talking on the phone, having a good conversation, coffee, chocolate, fires, fries, And You
(c)ibarker
154 · Jul 2020
Pray
Barker Jul 2020
I prayed to god
After you broke my heart.
I prayed for him to make the pain stop.
At first nothing happened.
I started to hate the pain.
I started to feel hopeless.
But one day I was able to get out of bed.
I was able to eat.
And suddenly the pain became manageable.
Until it was barely even there
153 · Sep 2017
Listen I
Barker Sep 2017
People don't listen anymore
No matter how hard you try
They just don't listen
(c)Ibarker
152 · Jun 2018
Laugh
Barker Jun 2018
Hearing you laugh is the best kind of medicine.
(c)ibarker
152 · Jul 2018
Nice Try
Barker Jul 2018
You take away the one thing that makes me happy,
That’s why I’m bitter towards you.
All my hatred and anger goes to you,
Because you tell me “We want what’s best for you. How can we make you happy?”
And when I tell you suddenly it’s my fault that everything is ****.
Then you say “Well we know what’s best for you. We understand what you are going through. We know what you feel.”
Well you ******* don’t.
You aren’t me and I sure as hell don’t tell you jack ****.
So, how do you expect me to be happy,
When all I am to you is a kid who can be ordered around?
(C)ibarker
151 · Dec 2022
I'm Not Okay
Barker Dec 2022
Do you ever just hurt so much inside,
But no one knows,
Because you just smile through it and say
"I'm just tired".

It's hard to keep going,
It's this constant battle of trying to get through the day,
I constantly wake up tired,
It feels as though the world just whirls by and I'm just trying to hold on.
(c)barker
151 · Jun 2018
Myss II
Barker Jun 2018
I miss you more than you could imagine
And more than I can describe
But I'll try
(c)ibarker pleasefindthis
149 · Jun 2018
pleasefindthis
Barker Jun 2018
Remember who you are in the moments when you are not yourself
(c)ibarker pleasefindthis
148 · Jun 2018
Sky Stained Pink
Barker Jun 2018
I sit on the window sill looking out into the night.
The sky is stained dark pink from all the city lights.
It makes me sick to know that I won't see the stars,
But it's also comforting because it reminds me of all the good nights,
I spent in the city at night,
With my friends and with my family or just by myself.
(c)ibarker
148 · Jun 2018
You XVI
Barker Jun 2018
Home is not what city you were born in,
What country of origin you are,
But where you belong.
Home is the feeling of being complete.
People travel the world to find it.
I find it in you.
(c)ibarker
148 · Jun 2018
Statements
Barker Jun 2018
The sick cannot heal the sick
(c)ibarker
147 · Oct 2017
Feelings
Barker Oct 2017
And to this day
You still don't know
How I feel about you
(c)ibarker
147 · Jun 2018
Myself
Barker Jun 2018
If you must know why I'm like this
It is because everyone else is more sure and more who they are
Than I am
And I don't know myself or who I am
I'm never sure what I'm supposed to feel and think
Or what I even feel or think.
Everything is still a puzzle for me and I don't even have a single piece in the right spot.
(c)ibarker
147 · Jun 2018
Trust
Barker Jun 2018
If you have my attention it's because I care about you.
If I like you, then I won't be elusive,
But if you break my trust,
I will burn that bridge
And I won't look back
(c)ibarker
145 · Oct 2017
Red
Barker Oct 2017
Red
As I draw on my wrist with red
A line followed by another
Until my entire wrist is filled with red
Some say I'm a *******
I say **** them
(c)ibarker
145 · Sep 2017
Outsiders
Barker Sep 2017
Outsiders are the ones with the most brilliance
(c)Ibarker
144 · Jun 2018
Love V
Barker Jun 2018
Love should not cost you your sanity,
Oh but it has
(c)ibarker
144 · May 2018
Love II
Barker May 2018
Yes,
The people I love
Are a bit weird
  A bit insane
   And a bit strange
But I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Because to me,
They are the people I love and no matter how weird, strange, and insane they are, I will always love them.
(C)ibarker
144 · Oct 2017
Forever
Barker Oct 2017
Nothing lasts forever
Good things, bad things
They won't last
(c)barker
143 · Sep 2017
Time II
Barker Sep 2017
We always think we have more time
(c)Ibarker
142 · Apr 2018
Missing the Start
Barker Apr 2018
When I was in my second relationship

I missed the feeling of being me
I missed the nights where I didn't have to worry about anyone except me
I missed the days where I could just isolate myself and read
I missed when I didn't have to be dependant on someone
I missed when I didn't have to tell anyone anything
I missed those moments

I started to lose hope in finding love

But you came around

I started to like the way you made me feel
I started to like feeling wanted
I started to like being with someone
I started to like telling you things
I started to like nights where we would just talk about our problems
I started to like the fact that I didn't have to be alone

And then I realized I was starting to fall in love
(c)ibarker
142 · Dec 2022
Just Hold On
Barker Dec 2022
Life moves on what can I say?
I've spent these last few months wishing that time would stop.
Hoping that it will let me readjust my grip,
Praying that it doesn't take me away.
141 · Jun 2018
The Heart
Barker Jun 2018
"How many times can a heart be broken?" I asked,

You replied, "How many times can a heart heal?"
(c)ibarker
141 · May 2018
Everything
Barker May 2018
Maybe I'm scared
Because you mean
More to me
Than any other
Person.
You are everything
I think about,
Everything I need,
Everything I want,
And everything I love
(c)ibarker
140 · Apr 2018
Didn’t you?
Barker Apr 2018
Didn’t you promise that you wouldn’t get mad again?
Didn’t you promise that you weren’t going to punch me anymore?
Didn’t you promise that you wouldn’t ever throw things at me again?
Didn’t you promise that you would stop drinking?
Didn’t you promise that you wouldn’t fight with mom anymore?
Didn’t you promise that you wouldn’t ever lay another hand on mom?
Didn’t you promise?
Didn’t you?
(c)ibarker
140 · Sep 2017
Not Granted
Barker Sep 2017
We all take time and love for granted
(c)Ibarker
140 · Sep 2017
Life<Death
Barker Sep 2017
Life is the Devil's Game
Death is the Angel's heaven
(c)Ibarker
140 · May 2018
Shield
Barker May 2018
You said you would protect me,
Yet you don't know what I am fighting.

I'm fighting someone smarter than me,
Someone who knows my every move.

I'm fighting someone who has known me longer than I have,
Someone who knows everything that is haunting me.

This "someone" I'm fighting is not someone you can protect me from,
Because how can you protect someone,
When the person they are fighting are themselves?
(c)ibarker
139 · May 2018
World
Barker May 2018
To the world you may be someone,
But to someone you may be the world,
And you my darling are my world
(c)ibarker
138 · May 2018
Voice II
Barker May 2018
Remind me of your voice again so I can flush out the demons
(c)ibarker
136 · May 2018
Want
Barker May 2018
I'm amazed when I look at you
Not just because of your looks,
But because of the fact that everything I've ever wanted
Is right here in front of me
(c)ibarker
136 · May 2018
Yours
Barker May 2018
While I'm off chasing my own dreams.
Sailing around the world,
Please know that
I'm yours
To keep
(c)ibarker
136 · Jun 2018
Small Things = You
Barker Jun 2018
I just realized,
How many small things had to occur,
In order for me to have met you.
All the small accidents,
All the causes and effects,
Everything I went through,
All had an impact on me finding you.
(c)ibarker
134 · Sep 2017
Label our Downfall
Barker Sep 2017
Labels are
Our downfall
(c)Ibarker
134 · Jun 2018
Matter
Barker Jun 2018
One of the most important thing in a relationship is that you are there and that they are there when it matters
(c)ibarker
134 · Apr 2018
Understand II
Barker Apr 2018
You say you don’t understand what I see in you. My response is plain and simple as you. I see a girl desperately trying to find her voice. I see someone who has been through a lot. I see someone who doubts everything they do. I see someone who hates their body and themselves. I see you. And to me that’s everything. I see your smile. I see your laugh. I see your eyes and your freckles. I see what you are capable of. I see the potential you have to be something great. Sure, sometimes you are a bit of a mess, but that’s okay. Because I’m not looking for someone perfect. I’m looking for someone like you.
(c)ibarker
Barker Jun 2018
When I'm around you
I start living
(c)ibarker
131 · Apr 2018
You V
Barker Apr 2018
Like a diamond
You are strong
You can conquer anything

Yet you are precious
You glimmer in the light
You make everyone around you sparkle

But you weren't always a diamond
You had to be put through your limits
You had to be tortured

You were forced every day to be put through immense pressure
You had to break and mend over and over again
Until one day you woke up

And you became
Something
More
(c)ibarker
126 · Sep 2017
Notice
Barker Sep 2017
One by one they disappear
No one seems to notice
If they were to reappear
Would you
Notice?
(c)Ibarker
112 · Apr 2018
Pain III
Barker Apr 2018
I stare at the pills in my hand.
I swallow them all down in one gulp.
I drink the cool water from the tap.
I wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Until there it is.
I feel it.
The pain blisters through me like lightning.
It starts in the pit of my stomach and spreads.
I double over in pain.
I want to cry out.
I want to scream.
But I can't.
I have no voice.
I just lay.
On the floor.
Whimpering in pain.

I pass out from the pain.
When I wake up.
I hear sirens.
Voices calling out my name.
Then my vision blurs.
And I am once again.
Engulfed in the darkness.
The sound of loud beeps.
Wakes me up.
And I realize.

I'm still here.
(c)ibarker
111 · Mar 20
One Day
Barker Mar 20
One day I'll stop talking about them,
And the world will feel right again.
(c)rbarker
94 · Apr 2020
Broken Heart
Barker Apr 2020
I need to let go of this false hope that you will change your mind and come back to me
...
I don't want to feel this type of hurt again but I want to feel the kind of love I felt with you
...
Since I met you all these questions keep me guessing here,
Like who was I before and what happens when you disappear
...
I opened myself up, but you didn't like what you saw and decided to leave with half my heart on the floor in pieces
...
I was the one who loved you even when you gave me thousands of reasons not to, and I know that some part of me will always love and care about you
...
(c)ibarker
84 · Mar 17
What Are Friends For?
Barker Mar 17
Your tears speak louder than words, but silence is a thief, slipping into the cracks, threatening to carry you away unseen.

They don't want you to heal silently, alone in the emptiness of your own thoughts,
They want you to heal loudly, let your hurt show, let yourself be vulnerable,
Because they will be there to help pick up the shattered pieces of your heart.

They want you here, not swallowed by the guilt, the regret,
The weight of what could have been, or what wasn't said.
For they see your worth, and nothing you could have done would have changed her mind.

So, scream if you must, let the sound echo through the hollow spaces,
Let your pain take shape and find its voice,
For in its loudness, you will not be alone.

They are here to catch you when the silence tries to pull you under,
To remind you that your healing matters,
That you are more than your grief,
And the noise of your hurt is the anthem of your survival.

In breaking the silence, you reclaim yourself,
Piece by piece, sound by sound,
Until the echoes of your voice
Become the music of your healing.
(c)rbarker
84 · May 27
(Work in progress)
Barker May 27
I can write about love,
About all the sweet things that can happen,
A hallmark movie,
A romance novel,
A poet who has just fallen for the love of his life.

But that's not what love did for me,
Love left me broken,
Love left me without looking back,
Love showed me that although I gave my everything,
It still wasn't enough,

But love also showed me how love can be found in the most quiet and hidden places,
That it doesn't have to be a relationship to show you what love is,

Love is in friends who give you a gift basket after a bad break up to help cheer you up,
Love is in friends who make sure that you've eaten and that you're doing okay,
Love is in friends who make you laugh so hard that your abs start to hurt and your eyes are watery with joy,

Love is an all things,
And while some love may not be available to us,
That doesn't mean that we are unlovable,
It just means that sometimes the love you seek,
Is found in places that you never knew were there.
(c)barker
83 · Mar 7
Wilted Roses
Barker Mar 7
A hopeless romantic,
Who's had his heart broken,
One too many times,
Writes about  love,
He'll never find,

Then along comes a stranger,
Who'd turn his life upside down,
Shows him a side of love.
That cannot be easily found,

With a glance that speaks volumes,
And a touch that ignites,
She brings colours to his shadows,
Turns his days into nights,

Though wary he opens,
His heart beats anew,
For a chance that she might see him,
As love's chosen,
Two.

But love like a flame,
Can burn as it glows,
Her words turning into embers,

She held his heart gently,
Then let it slip through,
She drifts like the tide,
Slipping out of view,

Like footprints in the sand,
Leaving him stranded in the sorrow's undertow,

Yet in his madness,
He yearns and waits,
He clings to the love they once showed,

If she calls he'll be ready,
Though battered and broken,
His soul is true,
He waits in the shadows,
Should she ever renew,

So for now he waits,
Though the hours grow long,
His heart singing fragments,
Of a bittersweet song,

In the stillness he wonders if she'll ever return,
While the embers of hope,
Slowly burn.
Mon soleil. I will be here, always.

(c)barker
68 · May 17
The Words I Never Said
Barker May 17
I want to be with you,
I want to work things out.
I know I can be better for you.
You say that you are tired of putting all the effort in.
Well then, let me.
Let me show you that I can make this work.
I know that we can make this work if we try.

You asked how long was it going to last,
and why would it not change.
The answer is simple,
Because I know what it's like to lose you.

When you asked me out,
You asked me to trust you, to take a chance.
Now it's my turn to ask you to trust me, to take a chance.
(c)barker
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