I know I'm lost with no motivation to find my way back.
I led myself down a paper trail of the pages of my mind,
Now I want them back.
I'm somewhere between no courage among the other things I lack.
Lost in desperation where an ember turns to ash.

Somewhere along this path, I crossed the line,
Broken promises I've made without thinking twice.
I left my second thought and reason behind.
All in the name of making you mine.
Yet you left me alone and shattered my heart into a million pieces,

And now I keep asking myself
Why do I think that I have to live this life alone?
I know I'm lost,
I thought that when we lose ourselves,
We find each other,
But I guess I was wrong.
Now I am back to that feeling of heartbreak

I have a different kind of trust issue.
I love and accept everyone.
I welcome everyone in with open arms.
I go out of my way to make people feel both happy and comfortable,
But I don't trust anyone to be there for me when I need them the most
I don't even reach out, because there's just no point

It would be too simple and too wrong to say I love someone.
You see it's so much more complicated than that.
After you weave through the layers and layers of walls and barricades that I have put,
You'll see that when I love someone, it isn't just that I love them,
It's that I love how they speak, the way they can manipulate words with their tongue.
That the words that they speak capture the attention of everyone in the room.
It's that I love how their smile seems to sparkle and the way their lip seems to tug more upwards on one side than the other.
That the world seems a bit happier when they smile.
You see when I love, it's more like that feeling when you find a really good book that never seems to end and that you don't want to end.
A book that you can never really put down for that long without feeling lost and empty.
I cannot tell you exactly how or why I love them and I cannot tell you why I love them the way I do.
I just do.

I think I’m afraid of letting go...

You asked me why I never talk to you about me. At that time I didn't say anything, I just shook my head. What I wanted to say was "I'm afraid that if I do I will lose you."

I want you to tell me about your dreams while we are cuddled up in blankets on our bed.

I want to wake up and say good morning to you with a kiss on the forehead.

I want a "have a good day" as we rush off to work late, because we wanted one more kiss before we departed for the day.

I want to hear all about your crazy or boring day at work over dinner.

I want that goodnight kiss and the sleep well.

I want the waking up in the middle of the night because you stole all the covers.

I want all that and more,

But I don't want it with just anyone,

I want it with you.