i wouldn't take back the first time
my heart was broken. nor do i regret the mascara stains on my pillows and the
empty bottles hidden in my closet.
it lead me here.. you.. us.. this
and maybe you'll break my heart
as easy as you do glass bottles, but maybe i don't care. because, for the first time ever, you're the hello i never want to hear a goodbye from.

after all the time spent teeming
in the closets and the cupboards
i have finally accepted
that the rats are really gone

the scratching in the ceiling
is just my lucid dreaming
i'm pining for a creature
that's never done me good

i wonder if i drank the cleaner
would my mind be shining too
i cannot take another evening
the ants are in my skin

you always did smell like home
i've lived in caves all my life
there will never be an ocean
bigger than this one

if i crack this one mirror
so will my every capillary
my tissues will erupt with
hydrofluoric acid

i'm itching from beneath my skin
i swear it's just the rats again
it's not the whispers that i hear
it's just the house settling

it's all the windows screaming
it's the walls constant staring
it's the floorboards ***** sneering
and the bathtub's overflow

mother always said
i should never leave the light on
yet i've been sitting in the dark
and blinded for four years

the chemicals are in my skin
i swear its just the rats again
the walls are singing of my sin
i swear its just the rats again

my veins are asking for a drink
my muscles scream for me to leave
i hear your footsteps in the hall
shotgun ringing in my ears
you were never even here
you were never
even here
you were
never
even
here