Smiles and rainbows
Within the epicenter of joy
A state of overwhelming happiness
that nothing could possibly destroy

The thought of being with her
Such images could not be dispatched
With her face in mind
that of beauty unmatched

But this warm sensation
now holds a tinge of frost
And for this evening of perfection
soon hope shall be lost

For he approaches
with no fear in mind
Only confidence to be shown
no doubt to be left behind

But as they meet
concern begins to grow
As the happiness that was on his face
on hers does not show

And the love drunk boy
is now painfully sober
In two simple words he is crushed
when hearing "it's over"

To be...or not to be...?
Here.
That is the ultimate question.
Do I stay in this dreadful place?
Or do I let my life go to waste?
Do I leave this life to try again?
Or perhaps..I decide it's really worth it in the end.
They say it's darkest before the dawn, maybe it is.
I'd like to find out...maybe...
If I stay here...will my life unfurl?
Will the brightness overflow my soul?
So many questions left unanswered.
Here.
I guess I'll stay. To decide again another day.
Here.

I hate my words for most of all the time
So much so, I'll deny they were ever mine.
I put pen to paper with high hopes
That seeing the ink bleed will keep me from the ropes.
I am unnecessary; I am not wanted
A simple body-- living, yet haunted.

There are these memories from years ago
Of a little girl trembling between each blow.
She swears up & down, & left to right
Never again to sleep at night.
She would rather be up for weeks
Than awoken at night to floorboard creeks.
She swore for the future & to the stars above
Never ever to let herself love.

As for now, I still stay awake each night,
& think of how to continue solely on spite.
I like to imagine what I might be
If you hadn't done what you have to me.
Just picture what I could achieve
If this hatred inside would only leave.

Since I was young,
I always dreamed of travel
I would fantasize about climbing Mt. Everest
Feeling the stinging cold of the wind hitting my face
I would fantasize about studying with the monks of Thailand
Learning how they spiritually survive
And find peace
Once I was in high school,
I protested to everyone that I needed to get away
I needed distance from my hometown
To get out of the bubble of the religion
That ran the town I grew up in
I felt high school was like being trapped in a cage
Fighting my way towards the light at the end of the tunnel
Like a prisoner, serving a 12 year sentence
Using nothing but a plastic spoon from the cafeteria
Digging myself deeper into a hole
That I knew would lead to freedom
My first year of college wasn’t any better
I learned the hard way that money really is
The only way to survive this world
And boy, it’s not easy to come by.
And no matter how hard I tried,
Something would happen to take it away
Today, I’ve done my own share of travel
I’ve gone from coast to coast of the United States
I’ve gone to California to experience the laid back community
And really become a pro on my surfing slang
I’ve gone to New York City to see how magical the city can really be
But also how easily it can take your spirits away
Today, I’m living back at home
Like I said before, money doesn’t come easy
And I still want to get away, live somewhere else and travel
Put a distance between my family and me
My religion and me
My friends and me
My past and me
But no matter how hard I try to fight it
There really is nothing
Like being back home.