Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Nov 26 · 329
Azaria Nov 26
you’ve been lying
dormant for
the past 2 years
a moth-like hiatus
in a love-like state
you worship
the tenets of
delayed gratification
in bite sized pieces

propagate wide open
my tiny heart
mourns for you
you're making a mole hill
out of a mountain
Nov 26 · 60
Azaria Nov 26
i’m sorry
i emailed you
in the mist of your mid-20’s
i promise to only reach out
when i’m pre-contemplating
or feeling insecure
you taught me about energy
and how it never dies
i will always miss the
idealized parts of you
i’m roused and paralytic
by your
chaos and good intentions
your skin
and how you breathed that night
i rode you on the chair
is etched in my memory
like a scar
Aug 16 · 137
fuck you
Azaria Aug 16
im less concerned
with morality these
******* to the end
of the earth
and your unenlightened
Azaria Jun 27
i have been trying to make
peace with some things
i have been trying to
let go of lately
i have held on so
to the essence of all
that becomes you
it sits in my heart
the place i go to
when i think about the end
a rocking chair on a quiet
this momentum will
last forever
you’ll have the version of
me from last october
until loyalty becomes
a conflict
i want shared custody of
the versions of us we bore
May 10 · 1.6k
death star
Azaria May 10
i’ve been sad since
the end of snowfall
since i decided i didn’t
want you to love me
today my lab
told me
that my transcription
was rough
so are the waters lately
if only pickled mushrooms
and self reflection solved
i would be on an island
in greece right now
not thinking about the
the future
or you not choosing to
love me until i asked
you to stop
Azaria Mar 20
8 passenger mini van
i carry all the love
strapped in
irrational angst and
idealism fighting
in the backseat
i have no room for
your regret
my stomach fell
into the earth
when i heard you
were going to be a dad
i have been loyal to a ghost
for the past 6 months
of course you still want me
i was always the person
who was capable of
loving you despite
the placement of the
and your scorpioic
Azaria Mar 20
it’s strange to miss you
when you sit here touching
elbows with me
souls sometimes
when applicable
maybe i have been
mourning you
since the day we met
weening off in
small increments
swapping dna
and withholding
small traces of
compartmentalizing doesn’t
hit as hard without you
who else is going to put
their hand on my
forehead to keep
the good
thoughts in
Feb 11 · 250
systems theory
Azaria Feb 11
i emulate you
in forms that i can’t have
and find myself in stories of flooding *******
and summertime haste
it’s strange and comforting
that everyone you ever
love becomes a part of
you somehow
Feb 10 · 369
azaria on the run
Azaria Feb 10
you’re haunted like
a 20 year old with
a past life of regrets
the head and the
heart in
an endless power
maybe a bath
will save me
i’m haunted by
it all
Jan 10 · 239
john (after christ)
Azaria Jan 10
the love was reinstated
at 12:30 in the afternoon
on an unsuspecting tuesday
it came cautiously from
around the corner
and regrettingly after
2 years
all this talk of forgetting
and my body
trembles at the thought
of you
long haired-fake apache
and the taste of your mouth
that felt like a happy marriage
pink toes swinging over
desperate water
longing and complicated
you injected me with
religion when you kissed me
when you came into my life
and when you left
Azaria Sep 2022
crystals and clonazepam
to keep
the bad dreams away
the growing pains
are unbearable at times
coexisting like
radical self acceptance
and struggling to blame
you for all the suffering
i read that just because
someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to
doesn't mean they
don't love you
i don't know exactly
what i would
call it then
Azaria Sep 2022
creating boundaries like
inevitable wars
i hate to fight when we are all
the same color
cut in the same way
wounded in the same spot
you said you love me because
i always want the best for people
maybe that speaks to what the
uber driver said that day
to all the self loathing
to why everyone loves me either
too little or too much
the apple fell very far from the
tree and has been
trying to differentiate
ever since
Azaria Sep 2022
different stages of change
i’m sorry i didn’t realize
you were pre-contemplating
the baby once sat in a ******
diaper for years and forgot
he could take it off
i miss you like the luxury
of west coast weather
after living in the east
coast my whole life
i’ve been preparing
for peace instead of
war this time
my face feels different
and i don’t think of my
last meal as much
endings make me
you’ve all stormed my
world so subtly
everywhere i go, i find a poet who has been there before me.
Jul 2022 · 283
Azaria Jul 2022
you want all the time it takes for you to be ready. what happens if takes you too long? what does it mean for me if i wait?
Jul 2022 · 277
Azaria Jul 2022
being differentiated
is so painful and lonely
i wish you knew what it
was like to be stuck on
an island with someone
who doesn’t want to leave
maybe in another life
i would have loved small
talk and searching for coconuts
with you
Azaria Jul 2022
you have loved me
in thick chunks,
gauzy *****, and
broken pieces
cauterizing my
inevitable chaos
and bleeding heart

on the cusp of laughter
the zietgiest of your
wet exuberance
and tranquility
settles the loud
you’re all the good
that is lost on me
Jul 2022 · 300
ricardo pt.6 (summertime)
Azaria Jul 2022
the sky submerged
in the perfect shade of canton
i rush home to plug
into you
you give me sunlight
and cheek kisses
sleeping in sync
and waking up in character
a compilation of all
your states
i crave you like
long weekends
and leo season
Azaria Jun 2022
odor remover
and soaked carpet
the memories are
harder to exstinguish
clinging to songs
and scents
i loved you more
last night
when i realized
that we grieve
the same way
it’s nice to know
it’s not just
May 2022 · 119
dreams//spring cleaning
Azaria May 2022
i forgot to put
the crystal underneath
my pillow
so of course you
came to me in my
i haven't forgotten
how i have loved you
and killed you
and then loved you
some more
you radiate more
heat than anyone
i know
growing pains and
spring in sight
i can't water you
Azaria May 2022
i've been here before
many springs and
only one therapist later
i miss you when you're here
the wall is too big
for me to get through
like 9/11 conspiracies
and disappearing noses
i drew you much bigger
than you were
romantic and impractical
it's all i know
you can't have unlimited time
and me
Apr 2022 · 188
Azaria Apr 2022
i have loved you
twice now
in separate forms
with the same conclusion
Feb 2022 · 114
old english
Azaria Feb 2022
the words are
lost to you
like daily rituals
and the nuiance
of psychoanalytics
you evolve like
the reptilian brain
when you want to
i want to do more
than just survive
Jan 2022 · 108
manic//ricardo pt.4
Azaria Jan 2022
i’m becoming an
insomniac like
my mother
fried rice and almost
midnight thoughts
i murdered the life
i thought i wanted
she died in a sheath of
quirk and holiness
went quietly in her sleep
at 11:20 pm
breathed in a life
and breathed out peace and
leftover carbon dioxide

i spoke with your mom
in broken bits of promise
and spanish
i hope you taste forever
in between spoonfuls of
corn, carrot,
and me trying
Dec 2021 · 136
ricardo pt.2(honeymooners)
Azaria Dec 2021
distinct and syrupy
we have been sleeping
on clouds and reveling
in the perfect storm
you say that shaping
my fro feels ******
spiritual like after
sunday dinner ***
and loving forms
of me quietly
and raw
like chicken
i crave you
admist the chaos
that is me
forever searching
i long for you
like the end of
growing pains and
a missing
member in the
cat band
Dec 2021 · 368
ricardo pt.3 (more life)
Azaria Dec 2021
your pre laughter
and pre ***
unsheathing you
in skin and light:
animated hair and
kind eyes
the love died quietly
and confidently in a past
life and was
reborn with
Nov 2021 · 298
when we were born
Azaria Nov 2021
celestial and wounded
there’s no way to
take back time
we were swimming
before we were
the air was
your lungs
before you loved me
what came first
the co2 or the suffering?
Oct 2021 · 223
Azaria Oct 2021
you came on the
lord’s day
gave birth to peace
with your hands
and infectious pre-laughter
i’m sorry that i underestimated
the nuiance of subtlety  
i have grown used to dark
storms and uncertainty
you sleep as peacefully as
you exist
i want the weight of your
head on mine on short
days and even longer
Sep 2021 · 467
Azaria Sep 2021
seeing both sides
talking out of both
sides of your mouth
i want you at the worst
at your worst angles
you're the worst of me
you settle into the lines
of my skin
like lotion
like smoke after
a fire
like life and
like death
Aug 2021 · 92
frida & diego
Azaria Aug 2021
i’ve decided that i will write
about you the way frida
wrote about diego
i love you and i wish
you never existed
Aug 2021 · 77
Azaria Aug 2021
your words died out
at 5:00 am this morning
simmering like styrofoam
and heat
complicated like love and
the white stuff
you exist in vices on
the cusp of self loathing
and complete absolution
Jun 2021 · 92
azaria’s choice
Azaria Jun 2021
like sophie’s choice
or maybe i’m just being
maybe a little too self
or close up on it
the faith died a couple
of times
not in the middle of the
night like you
would think
but in many multiverses
that all end in
the same way
i can’t love both me and
you abundantly
Jun 2021 · 286
gold soul theory
Azaria Jun 2021
word to the wall
for catching me
and the night for
embracing our
love in other
word to the guilt
and pinched nerve
for always letting me
word to the growth
and the truth and chika
word to you
for reviving or
ruining me
word to time
for coming too early
and too late
word to my stubborn
*** for writing this
and keeping on
Apr 2021 · 92
Azaria Apr 2021
word to my past
and present
i hope you aren't doing anything
to compromise your happiness
i hope you are at peace
i hope you are in love
Mar 2021 · 92
pisces season
Azaria Mar 2021
it’s funny how
you can disrupt my
peace and
accuse me of not
being harmonious
will i write about
you the way frida wrote
about diego rivera
was their love any less
epic because it was
i love you in a way
that blossoms
and drains me
i want the beginning
and the end with you
Feb 2021 · 94
baby boy
Azaria Feb 2021
i want you
like i crave
shelter in the longest
winter i have ever lived
all this space from you
shouldn’t be a thing
no planets in retrograde
i want slower time
this little boy at school
told me that they are letting
people on mars now
i wish we could fly
there and get tonight
i want you more than
stars and forever
Feb 2021 · 161
freestyle ixl
Azaria Feb 2021
all these things
that mean exactly what
they look like
you say it walks
like a duck but
talks like a dinosaur
why does your jealousy
fill up the air like
i miss the country
side without all
the attachments
the oxygen is clean
like velvet
and your words sink to
the bottom of the sky
like tasteless freedom
Jan 2021 · 95
bobby womack
Azaria Jan 2021
i guess it's true
that you can't have
all the things you want
at once
all this intersection
between words and perception
i am not the person you
think i am
or maybe i am
my face just looks
different from various
angles and near
Azaria May 2020
the way you have
to be ready for a
real woman
thick thighs
and scarred skin  
her body
rich with
the weight of
one whose legs open
up like spring
when she loves you
one who you have
to be careful at how you
talk to
her words sterile
and sincere like alcohol
one who doubts herself
she is caught between
love and self
both fierce and fragile
her hips are painted
with lust and loss
these women are:
closer to god,
softer in the middle,
terribly in love
with you and
relatively unresolved
Mar 2020 · 62
luggage thoughts
Azaria Mar 2020
all this time
but no resolution
all this space to unpack
but the words are
so cumbersome
tommy, i can’t believe you died
on a road all alone when you
spent your life surrounded by
the same people
mikayla, i’m sorry about the
way time worked against us
i know you’re listening to tyler’s
new album and it’s great, isn’t it?
uncle tyger, you used to be the epitome of
my childhood and now as an adult
i can’t recognize you
unresolved pimples
nothing coming to a head
i want certainty
in exchange for peace
Mar 2020 · 67
Azaria Mar 2020
they got it all
is the thief of joy
i experience peace in small
i have some redness
i need to neutralize
some things i have
to get off my chest
there are streaks in
the polish on my
streaks in the windows
that i’m looking out of
pre-apocalyptic thoughts
from the edge
i would’ve kissed you
on the mouth
had i known it
was the last time
i would see you
Feb 2020 · 62
in tongues
Azaria Feb 2020
coping with loss
life a series of
good and bad
i want hope
and healing for
folded into
1,000 origami
immune system
preventing me
from feeling too
cycles of time
and happiness
existing like the
i want
peace in small doses
Jan 2020 · 65
bag thoughts//antidote
Azaria Jan 2020
in my bag
and i find you
at the surface of it all
a 15 minute visual
album of first love
you live in the
back of my
taking solace in
the quiet corners of


sticking to you in
the nighttime
you break down
my natural composition
of chaos and good intentions
Jan 2020 · 46
Azaria Jan 2020
the childhood
version of
chasing your
adult self
bad habits
and love lost
catching up to you
like tupac and
saturated memories of your
id, ego, & superego
fighting for dominance
like the power struggle
between you and

you speak in
float around
my head
columbus discoveries
like faith
hiding in plain sight
i can write again
because you exist
Jan 2020 · 74
lsd (lightskin daydream)
Azaria Jan 2020
you told me that my
aura smells like
a night out
skipping through
the stages
like theories
of development
sacral chakras
speaking to
me in tongues
you place me
in time
with your
that feel
like they’ve seen
a scorpio in hiding
you’re a tribrid of
3 people i
may have loved
Dec 2019 · 92
me, and the egg prince
Azaria Dec 2019
coping with free time
i want certainty
like religion
i don’t know how
to be alone without
feeling lonely
Sep 2019 · 116
help wanted
Azaria Sep 2019
seeking validation
like coming up for air
after being underwater for 6
like looking for the reminents
of yourself on your past lovers
collecting them up
like searching for the meaning of
life and getting ****** in the
understanding heartbreak
like birthing your feelings
a c section to remove
the security
the intimacy
the love
Jul 2019 · 270
the big c
Azaria Jul 2019
indifference and silence
like stagnant water
i want you on fire
Apr 2019 · 80
25th hour
Azaria Apr 2019
i’m afraid that i need too much
validation to be ok
all this talk of top and bottom
regardless of the whole
i wasted a liter of water today
all this talk about plastic straws and
forgiving and moving on
there is so much that i have not let go
of yet
i want the same slap on the wrist
for the worst parts of me
a holiday dedicated to
my warmth
and childlike idealism
i want all the parts of
myself back
from you
Apr 2019 · 466
new wave
Azaria Apr 2019
milo and quantum physics
but yet there is no equation
for your emotional unavailability
y equaling the x factor of vulnerability
i’ve always hated the duality of
all the silent rules to remember
i just want to be loved the way that
i love
without so many computations
how do i know if silence + comfort equals
pleasure or complacency?
a limit on the questions i can ask in a day
i just want to know everything
do you like the way i **** on your *******?
am i ever going to meet your family?
are you going to love me forever?
2 standard deviations of what you mean
when you say what you do
am i enough for you and i just don’t
know it yet?
basic math skills at a deficit
am i unable to put 2 and 2 together
are there limits to us
or do they not exist?
Mar 2019 · 539
february 8th
Azaria Mar 2019
jumping to conclusions
like gap years
with no intent
of returning back
to universe 1
composed of matter
i am unequal disproportions
of good intentions
and inconsistency
a little
i want quality time,
altruism, and attention
a $700/ a month off campus
a slap on the wrist for
the worst parts of me
******* to the government
conspiracy of whites looking
for an opportunity to bring
the black (wo)man
******* to the
smoke, the air, the stress
for taking up space
where the love was
supposed to be
but most of all
******* azaria
you had a good thing
and you ****** it
Next page