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Azaria Jan 10
the love was reinstated
at 12:30 in the afternoon
on an unsuspecting tuesday
it came cautiously from
around the corner
and regrettingly after
2 years
all this talk of forgetting
and my body
trembles at the thought
of you
long haired-fake apache
and the taste of your mouth
that felt like a happy marriage
pink toes swinging over
desperate water
longing and complicated
you injected me with
religion when you kissed me
when you came into my life
and when you left
Azaria Sep 2022
crystals and clonazepam
to keep
the bad dreams away
the growing pains
are unbearable at times
coexisting like
radical self acceptance
and struggling to blame
you for all the suffering
i read that just because
someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to
doesn't mean they
don't love you
i don't know exactly
what i would
call it then
Azaria Sep 2022
creating boundaries like
inevitable wars
i hate to fight when we are all
the same color
cut in the same way
wounded in the same spot
you said you love me because
i always want the best for people
maybe that speaks to what the
uber driver said that day
to all the self loathing
to why everyone loves me either
too little or too much
the apple fell very far from the
tree and has been
trying to differentiate
ever since
Azaria Sep 2022
different stages of change
i’m sorry i didn’t realize
you were pre-contemplating
the baby once sat in a ******
diaper for years and forgot
he could take it off
i miss you like the luxury
of west coast weather
after living in the east
coast my whole life
i’ve been preparing
for peace instead of
war this time
my face feels different
and i don’t think of my
last meal as much
endings make me
you’ve all stormed my
world so subtly
everywhere i go, i find a poet who has been there before me.
Azaria Jul 2022
you want all the time it takes for you to be ready. what happens if takes you too long? what does it mean for me if i wait?
Azaria Jul 2022
being differentiated
is so painful and lonely
i wish you knew what it
was like to be stuck on
an island with someone
who doesn’t want to leave
maybe in another life
i would have loved small
talk and searching for coconuts
with you
Azaria Jul 2022
you have loved me
in thick chunks,
gauzy *****, and
broken pieces
cauterizing my
inevitable chaos
and bleeding heart

on the cusp of laughter
the zietgiest of your
wet exuberance
and tranquility
settles the loud
you’re all the good
that is lost on me
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