I know there's times
That you lay awake at night,
Thinking of all that was,
All that is
And all that could be.

I know there's times
When you feel weak.
You feel so empty
So numb
And so lost.

I know there's times
You wake in the night
From a nightmare.
Shaking,
Sweating
Crying.

I know there's times
You tried to fight it.
To act like you're ok
You are OK
You're fine.

I know there's times
You look in the mirror,  
See yourself looking back
But who is that?
Is it you?

I know there's times
That you wish
You could go back in time.
Erase all the hurt
Erase all the pain.

Truth is though
You can't turn back,
You can't erase it all.

You can't think,
You can't sleep.
You feel sick to the stomach.
But you keep on fighting

Fighting for another day,
Fighting to see the light
At the end of the tunnel.
Fighting for love.
Fighting for family.
Fighting for friendships.

You're stronger than most,
Stronger than me.
You keep on going.
You keep on fighting.

How can I ever compare
She's the definition
Of perfection
I'll never been enough.

Just the thought
The sight or mention
Makes me feel like
I'm nothing.

How can I ever compare
She's tall, slim
Everything you ever wanted.
I'm just me.

You say you're over her
But when she's mentioned
Your eyes light up.
I wish I had that effect on you.

I have made mistakes
Iv done you wrong.
Now I'm slipping into
A black hole.

A black hole
That I can't escape from.
Drowning deeper and deeper.
Will I ever be enough?

I'm not fit, **** or beautiful.
I'm nothing
In comparison to her.
She's everything.

Does your heart still
Skip a beat
When she calls or texts.
Did that ever happen when I did?

I'll never be her,
No matter how hard I try.
How do I ever compare to perfection
When I'm just me.

Why do I always come second,
Am I not good enough?
Don't compete with your precious family.
Can't compete.

You married me.
Promised to love and care for me
No matter what.
But I come second.

Yes you mostly do
Put my needs above your own.
But it's like a hierarchy,
My status is almost unknown.

After everything I do for you
and everyone else,
What do I do?
Only time will tell.

I know it's hard,
Finding the balance of things.
You say your trying

But I don't know if you will.
Maybe I have to change,
And just accept things
How they are.

Maybe this is what I deserve,
Putting everyone before me,
Putting you above everyone,
Friends, family and myself.

I've already taught you
That I come second,
Unknowingly it's true.
I don't deserve to be put first.
Not by anyone,
Not even you.

But I'm afraid.
Afraid that the pressure
Might crack me
Till I'm completely broken.
I'm afraid there'll come a time,
That I'll have to walk away.

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may **** me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

I know I'm not perfect
I'm not even close
I can't be a trophy wife,
So please tell me we're through.

Tell me it's over,
Tell me were finished.
So I can go back
To the place I was in.

A cold dark life
With no one around
None to pass judgement
Or look at me and frown.

I can't do things right,
It's always a mess.
Cooking, cleaning, laundry.
I can barely iron a dress.

I'm no domestic goddess
I'm no perfect cook.
I tried and I tried
All my ******* you took.

You smile
Like everything's perfect.
Deep down I know
Your thinking why?

Why did I marry her?
She's useless, it's true
Even your happy dreams
Leave you feeling so blue.

You dreamt about us
Kids and a home.
But how can it be?
Im no better than a garden gnome.

Only there for decoration
And just to look pretty.
But that's not what you want in a wife
Not even close.

You want someone to rely on
Share your deepest fears.
Not some that goes out
Without the slightest care.

No care in the world,
Wanting to be young and free.
That's how I want my life
But that's just me.

What's to say
You won't find someone perfect.
Someone loving and caring,
Someone totally worth it.

So you tell me
Where you want us to go from here.
I know you'll tell me to stay,
Ruining your life is what I fear.

Sometimes I think to myself,
I'd give anything,
To have those moments back.
With you and only you.

You showed me the world,
Through your eyes.
Made me believe in myself again,
Showed me that anything is possible.

I am where I am today,
Because of you and only you.
You supported me,
And pushed me to dream,
And made my dreams a reality.

Yes we have different backgrounds,
But surely family could compromise.
I loved you and you loved me,
Wasn't that all that mattered?

No I don't want money,
Lavish clothes and cars.
All I wanted was you.
To say goodnight and sleep in your arms.  

To marry you
Was my dream.
The only one you told me not to chase.
It was impossible and that would never change.

But maybe I lay in bed sometimes,
Wandering about me and you.
Would it really have been that disastrous?
Or was your love just not so true?

You talk to me when you want me,
Other times I don't exist.
You're supposed to be my best friend,
I'm not your mistress.

Please treat me with some respect,
My love.
Knowing I'm someone else's now,
A thought you just can't bear.

But you're the one
That let me go.
Don't come back saying you were wrong,
Because now it's just to late,
My love.
Now I just have to go....