The deafening silence
The screaming thoughts.
Armour from a battle,
Scars from a war.

Can anyone hear
the words she says?
Can anyone find
The heart she misplaced?

Trapped in a zone
Where there's nowhere to run.
Everything is slipping
With the setting sun.

Falling deeper and deeper
Into an empty space.
What can you tell me,
About the devil she embraced?

He stripped her dignity,
Left her to die.
Tell me,
Why is she not able to cry?

He says he loves her
But hurts her so.
She smiles to cover it,
Her scars never show.

Time goes by,
Things don't change.
She's defined,
By the walls she's made.

Built so high,
Won't let anyone in.
You can try and try,
But I'll never be
That girl again...

***** you
And your **** perfections
Your blue eyes
And your calm disposition.

Telling me to smile
Cause it's Christmas.
Making me laugh
At your every lame joke.

No it's not Christmas
No I don't want to smile.
But friends like you
Only come by time to time.

Yes we flirt
And mess around.
I can sit in a room with you
And make no sound.

The silence isn't awkward,
It speaks a billion words.
It tells you tales
Of hardship and hurt

All my *******
You sit and listen to.
The way I turn to you
When I don't know what to do.

**** what everyone thinks
**** what they say.  
I know your amazing,
And I'll tell you everyday.

I know your stressed
About work and life.
I know I can't really say much
To make it alright.

But to try and make you laugh
Makes me happy.
Even if my attempts fail,
A small smirk makes it worthwhile.

Your smile makes me feel happy,
When I don't even want to smile,
You make me laugh wholeheartedly
So please can we sit here a while?

So I can treasure these moments
Forever
They're precious to me
It's true.

So special
These long conversations
And the **** that you've helped me through.

I could go on and on
All day.
Telling the world of our friendship.
Forever wouldn't be long enough.

Will you love me
When I go insane,
When I'm down and don't see
What living my life will gain.

When I can't see the light,
When there's dark all around.
Will you listen to my screams
When the world doesn't hear a sound.

Will you hold me in your arms
Just hold me so close.
Hold me when my days
Feel gloomy and cold.

When love ceases to exist
Even deep in my heart,
When I'm cold hearted
When I'm broken.

Will you love me,
And continue loving me?

Sat in the centre of the room
Still feeling
So alienated
Why do I not fit in?

Is it because
I'm not one of them?
Because I don't have
Beautiful but fussy children?

Or is it the fact that
I'm not yet their family.
Because my surname
Is still different to theirs.

Maybe it's just
That I'm not used to this.
Sitting around,
I'm feeling useless.

A million things
Going round in my head.
A million screams
Silenced instead.

So I'm still sat here.
Feeling so alone.
You're all my family,
But why can I not call you my own?

I think it's funny that when it's 2 AM and I'm contemplating ripping off my skin my parents said I can talk to them to make it better, but 99% of the time, they're the ones that put me into that position.

I think it's funny that when I told my parents about slicing my thighs open they said that they'd get me help and everything would be okay, but everything has only gotten worse and now I feel like I'm living in hell.

I think it's funny how my parents promised me that they'd never take away the one thing that made me feel okay, but now it's 10 o'clock at night and I'm missing out on the fun that my best friends are having because I can't be trusted overnight to be with the only people that help me forget about how I'd be able to get blood to pour out of my body with something other than the blades I don't have anymore.

I think it's funny how my parents said that they'd never want me to leave this earth, but they're the reason why at 5 am I want to take 100 pills and drown myself with my tears and strangle myself with their voices of saying I'm not good enough.

I think it's funny how my mom swears that she knows what she's talking about and that she knows how to make everything better, yet she almost always seems to be the one that makes me want to break open my knuckles by punching the wall so many times.

I think it's funny that when I get upset about my parents making me be a prisoner in my own home, my dad says that there isn't anyone that I should be mad at except for myself, like I somehow could've prevented this from happening.

I think it's funny that almost every single scar on my body is from my parents shoving me into a wall and telling me that I'll never be good enough for this world and that I'm sure as hell not good enough for them.

I think it's funny that I'm only one person in a world of 7 billion people, and that my parents say that if I were gone I'd be missed, but I won't be, especially by them. and I can promise them that.

I considered you
As my sister.
I knew love
Through our friendship

I laughed with you
Cried with you
Stayed awake all night with you.

Your addictions died hard
I was there when you needed me
I made sure you got help
And we got through it together.

You called yourself my twin
But can you tell me,
Does one twin,
Betray the other?

I told you everything
Let you climb the solid wall
I'd built so high.

I thought you could never hurt me
I thought you'd never betray me.
I thought I could trust you
Coz of every sweet word you said to me.

Now I know,
Where your loyalties lie.
You pushed me aside,
A huge part of me died.

But that's just fine,
You carry on saying things
Saying I'm a ****
Behind my back.

You can carry on calling me
All the names under the sun.
To hell with your friendship.
I'm done!

She sits there in a corner,
Shuts herself away,
She doesn't speak a word,
She doesn't know what to say.

The only thing
That keeps her breathing
Is the hope and the dreams
That she wants to come true.

Things get bad,
She faces them alone,
A one woman army
With no fear in her bones.

She's amazing in every way,
She's flawless
Baby I don't care what they say.
Don't ever think of yourself as less.

She's my angel,
Saving me from destruction,
My suicide attempts fail,
She's my obstruction.

Words can't express
How much I admire this woman,
She's my world,
My universe.

I get hurt,
She feels my pain.
Her calm soothing words,
Take all my stresses away.

Her love and support
Is second to none.
I need it like oxygen,
I need it like the sun.

To shine on me
When my days are dark.
To enlighten me
When I can't see the path.

This amazing woman truly is
One in a million,
My best friend,
My sister,
My everything,
Baby I'll love you forever!