Perhaps the reason there is so much suffering in this world is because
We aren't made for this world

I am jolted awake.
Sweaty and confused, the truth of my world sets in.

My nightmares have become my reality,
and i'm ashamed to admit i was awoken crying your name.

Not even metaphorically, I legitimately cried myself awake.
I was not aware it was possible for sadness to transcend through your dreams in such a way, and i'm forced to let the wave pass the best i can.
I have never woken up with the confirmation that you
truly are gone,
and i mean nothing to you.

My dreams are now strictly you fulfilled by the world and others,
meeting new people to replace me,
while i scream your name into nothingness.

mehh
come back please

For the first time,
I have a thought I cannot share.
A life desire my heart was excited to share with you.

The future is not the adventure it once was.

The crack was practically audible,
with every hour came a new fracture.
The ceiling fan mocks me as old pictures gleam from any place
my impulses can project them off of.

I think there is a fifth sense when it comes to these kinds of things,
where silence is more telling than really anything.
Though this is a feeling i have felt before,
it is much different this time.

Past me did not know love like i do now.
It's funny to say that though.

First time i fell, every inch of me was certain it was forever.
This time i was much less naive,
and did not believe that to be the case at all.
I knew better.
With such a safety net you would think this would be a walk in the park, yet it is inexplicably worse.

I now watch him slip out of my fingers,
and though i want to fight i know i should let it go if it does not want to stay.
I only wish i knew how?