The sanatorium stays.
For people like He—God—
Perhaps sent down
To be slapped in the face
(Morally, of course)
And beaten down.
Cata-
Tonic—Breath
Of fresh air
Sent to
Contort—Heal;

Disinfectant stinging wounds
We never knew were opened:

A canister of misplaced pride.

Kids on bikes and big sandy beaches
are no longer her own scraped knees
and a blank canvas to play on.

Boxes of bandaids and just a little more water
do not fix the faults of skin and sandcastles.

She has scars, an ocean within her
and a desire for deserts
that drives her to travel
til she finds what she has been born with.

"Peace"
is synonymous with
Beatles music and
an empty desk—
i stare longingly
for no reason
but
that of some
Artificial sentimentality;

Quiet purity.

There are pretty girls getting limo rides with rich men smiling by their sides
while I am singing with flowers between my teeth like romantic swords within a sheath.

I see their pretty eyes fill with city lights.
So very bright... so very bright...
But the gutters are hidden just out of sight and the rats are crawling through the night.

I am riding my bike between the trees while, in my mind, I'm on my knees with sadness at the girls in limos never knowing what will come when the sun goes down and the rats come out to feast...

I am the boy waiting on the beach watching the girls in the city but when the lights leave their eyes and they turn around,  I won't be there anymore.

You caused a dive-bomb reaction in the pit of my stomach.
10 days until you're gone.
In ten days you could fall in love
if you try hard enough
in ten days you could get addicted to something
like nicotine or your hands on my waist
in ten days you could learn a new language
and whisper it on the crook of my neck
like every night when you told me
me pareció mi hogar en ti
which roughly translates to
i've found my home in you
i am constantly trying to convince myself
that you can't make a home out of a human being,
but when i'm lying in my own bed
i can't help but catch myself saying
"i want to go home"
there are still nights that i lie awake and wish you were next to me
although the love you had for me died
as soon as you found Rachel.
I have always felt like a girl,
but around you i felt like a woman.
you made love to the curves on my hips
without ever having to remove clothing
and i had no idea that fingertips could cause liberation
until you kissed mine.
As soon as your lips touched my skin
i knew i would dream about you for as long as i live.
You always had what i needed,
drugs, alcohol, love, emotion, friendship.
Every day for years i would make my way to your house
and you would have a the drugs waiting for me
and as soon as i felt i could fly through the clouds
i ended up swimming in your body
unable to force myself to stay above surface level
because you always drowned.
The screaming matches that were produced
about you wanting to die
scared the living hell out of me because
i realized i was not enough for you.
you told me nothing was sacred,
that no spine was too straight to snap into submission,
that every layer of skin could be clawed off,
and that's why you feared the scars on my body.
Your first stare was a look of horror,
but then it was a look of love and you knelt down next to me
and kissed every inch of my body and i thank my body
for learning how to thank yours.

In ten days you will be gone,
and you can never love someone as much as you can miss them.

feel the rush of the day as it breaks against our backs
feel the brush of a hand as we close our eyes and relax

feel the trembles and the shutters of a sob
feel what resembles the pain of a hearts throb

feel the eyes which burn holes through your skin
feel the ties which bind all to there sin

feel the hate that controls, it is what you rue
feel the weight of the mold, that is what you do

feel the weight of you.