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Dec 2013 · 451
tell me,
do your eyes ever gaze past everything
straight into nothing?
can you see anything there, still?

does your mind graze the evergreen
as it soars out of your body?
does it ever land on me?

do your hands match the finger prints
i've left on your skin?
do you want to feel them again?

does your body twitch and itch with loneliness,
does it, tell me this,
do you feel it when it's missed?

i'm feeling pretty sullen
left alone.
i've been trying real hard to pretend
then i'm not so prone
to death and all it's ends
i just watch the sun and all the places it's shone
messages left to pend
my heart is solid as stone
shattered, and it depends
on you, alone

my mistake
was letting you in
my heart break
will never wear thin
so, stay
my darlin,
wash away
my sins
when i'm singing
i hear that little drawl
that you have when you let your melodies go
and you've moved your way into my veins
reduced me to an empty crawl
and i am shrinking, watching your embers grow

we move together under blankets of
regretful submission
and resentful *******
and it fits like cinderella's long lost shoe
her prince came to take her away
but i'm still crawling,
longing for you

you see my eyes gazing back at yours,
don't you?
can you see how much i adore
everything about you?
those shoulders covered with your
softly shadowed skin
rise and fall above me, you're
all that i need
Dec 2013 · 354
my only friend
spent the night chewing on leaves
face down in the dirt
cracks all over me
although, i wouldn't say it hurt

we're in this sick convulsive cycle
of holding hands, then breaking our fingers apart
till the bones show, by some miracle
we were not hollow inside after all.

i cannot say i mind it, though
because of all the confusion, i had to choose
it was no thought in my demented mind to have chosen
the flickering flare of light that is you

but so i did
and so it goes
here we are, my only friend
where you embark, i follow
Nov 2013 · 238
Untitled
your absence creeps
all around me
when i fell to the ground
you did not help me to my feet

i should have known it
the first time around
aware by the original sound
of her name leaving your lips;
while i was the one you were sleeping with

this is how the truth will hit
home, it shatters your dreams
so lie down, try to forget about it
because loves like this
are never as they seem.
let him go
gently, gently now
let his footsteps echo
as he walks away
embrace the sound
and swallow down all the things
you'd love to say
this time, what is lost will not be found
let your freedom sing.

from the evergreen trees
to the dead and decomposing leaves
of trees that just don't stick around
the pitter patter, that silent sound
of the fall of rain, the drip of tears
the feathers of these past years
pluck away, **** the days
that you wasted with him
there must be some way
to shadow the agony with a graceful grin

do not drown yourself
in drink
do not harm yourself
in what you think
because the sun will rise,
the sun will fall
the world will surprise
by taking all
that you had

it might not be eloquent,
but these are instructions
on how to live with a broken heart
your fingers, your words will not mend
only time will tell

he will walk away
with a lack of empathy
he will never say
that you are what he needs.

accept, regret, and see what comes next
these words are yours to protect.
Nov 2013 · 1.0k
Love and I collaborating.
she was a masterpiece behind the glass draped in gold
he was tired and homely, his rage was growing old.
the line between them was bold
but it's fine
because they ignored the disparity
of dissimilarities
through this discrepancy, they painted their canvas
with lust and expectations
they could never keep it going, a senseless apparatus
neither could sense the strength of the connection
binding them hiding them individually,
the two became as one
two to one,
counting down the moments to their
untimely demise;
when the two are no longer as one,
but none.
none could've predicted the end,
not once
but twice
when they failed
they tried
and tried again
he told her she was heaven sent,
and he was shrouded in sin,
what they didn't know is that
they were one and the same.
cut from the same cloth
but rarely clothed when they were together.
Stayed high together
one could say they were
birds of a feather
they were lost but now they're found;
she was once was okay but now she's drowned.
deep under her love for him,
she tried to float and coast through
but it was no use
his love and adoration was all she had to lose
it was enough to clear her mind of the emotional abuse
but it was not enough to clear her heart of the love.
As she lay in his bed
praying for him to come closer,
he stayed as far away as he could.
and although he knew he could love her
he wasn't sure if he should;
she was jaded
and the time they shared had faded.
but in her heart she made it,
she could fade it!
She was lost it in all her minds of minds.
Trouble is growing from underneath the seams
how they've stayed intact is a mystery,
leave all the bad in the past
it's history
the present envelops her
with his presence
and it consumes, it engulfs her whole.
She finds she cannot live without him.
he grows cold, distant
she realizes he's already gone
and she disintegrated into his front lawn,
with all the dead leaves
and fallen trees
He says,
"i'm already gone."
Nov 2013 · 493
Untitled
i am addicted to the way
your heart pounds against me
i can feel it thump thump thumping
against my spine, in my stomach,
through my fingers and
in the softness of your throat

i am attached to the electricity
that shoots through our skin
when i lay beside you
and when your arms wrap around me
you are my fortress

i am lost in the friction
between you and i
we cannot keep our hands
off each other
when our eyes meet
when we are alone
a thousand words spoken in our minds
a million memories
and countless times

i'm obsessed, i'd say
with the way
i feel
with you
inside of me
I'll show you what love is
love is the scars he traced into your skin
  love is the ***** you expelled in your haste to forget
   love is filthy
Love is ***** like the socks you left under his bed,
love is rotten like what's left of what was
  love is the way you turned around and walked away
so as not to show him your tears
Love is the first tear that fell,
the last tear to drip
love is the blood spilled
over him
  love is every word the pen has scrawled
about him
   love is in your dreams,
awake or asleep
    love is the martyr
that brought us no relief.
Nov 2013 · 585
I sing the body electric
my passion
reared it's head
and flashed it's fangs
you kissed the poison
right off its lips
it imploded
destroying
all i loved

unforgivable crimes
and their compartmentalized
little sins
shallow gasps for air
in between sighs of relief

i'll give you my wings
for a wave, hello
i'll give you anything
for you not to go

can you really
not feel the
electricity
between our skin?
Nov 2013 · 703
Icarus
I am the sea you built the wings to escape from,
Your heaven sails shine pristine in the November wind.
I lost the moon, lost the sun,
No chance for a sky covered in sin.
And here are the words, they begin again,
Reaching in ways my hands couldn't bear
Reaching for the one
Who honestly dear, just doesn't care.

your fingers don't match up
with the ideas in your head
and you know you've had enough,
when you found yourself wishing for what is dead
so say your goodbyes
and fall in line
with what lingers,
what is gone

it wont hurt for long,
no, the freedom is worth the wait
because one day we'll wake up
with a new mind we've known all along
take it as an ounce of fate,
if it wasn't meant to be, it goes as it must.

escape now, my hopeless Icarus
Nov 2013 · 336
Untitled
why waste your words
on one who wont ever hear
who wont really care
when the sentences fall in line
with the scars on your wrist
and when the period comes
before the comma
to send your fairy tales a different way home.

i've been biting at my fingernails
until their crescent white is gone
and i've been leaving you trails
on how to get past this over-stretched yawn;
a hiccup in our story

have you ever laid at the spine of a tree,
looked up
and saw the leaves?
they're falling, but not for us,
no, they fall for a greater cause
the change of november
will swallow you whole
spit you out
and leave you
alone
that last one's really
all i got for you now
melodies are chanting through my head
at ultimate speed;
i can't quite capture them.

lately i've been going back
to the things i used to run from
in pursuit of something cold

it appears i've lost my muse;
though i cannot bow,
give it a nice "cheers!"
and walk away, no
when all you've left to lose
ain't got no use for old veneers

i'm not quite sure what i'm trying to tell you here,
but it's something screaming loud
i hope someday you'll be able to hear
something so profound
teeth are clenched together
caffeinated intoxicated little words
brought as one
into one minuscule prose.
the boy who shines bright as the sun
in your eyes;
i destroyed it, i suppose
lost into one broken "never mind"

your tongue lapses into
minute broken shapes
along the jaw that gapes
for all the love you've sought to lose

i wish that i had known in that first minute we met
the unpayable debt
that i'd owe you
and those words were taken
from a pretty song
that no one really knew

i long for the i.v. drip
to keep me barely alive
and i am so jealous, mother
that death took you

it starts as an innocent sip
grows to an open dive
to have for you another
one drink became a few
and you've wound up like your mother

repeating yourself,
losing yourself
to a substance abuse
and the words, they melt
together, you lit the broken fuse
that sent us all to hell

so pray your worst
and break for the best
we will all meet our funeral hearse
our minds will count for less.
Nov 2013 · 479
"art"
words come and go
like teenagers
in love
in spite of your
memories, your
private soliloquies
there's a bitter
promise in the
way you say
goodbye;
we are full
of reminders
we wish to forget
you keep bursting
at the seams,
flinging your broken pieces at me
the sun don't shine for us
and the moon just reflects.
the sky is not as endless
as it seems.
replace the ink with blood
and maybe you'll make a
difference
death comes for everyone
from the reader to the writer
even the innocent bystander
i see you in the stars;
in the breeze through
the trees.
i guess i'll keep you alive
in my dreams
love is lost, along
with the one who
created you, who
destroyed you
live a life in color
to fool them
you're alive
live your life alone;
make it alright
in your mind
Nov 2013 · 524
mother
my sobs sound just like yours,
mother
and my wounds look just like yours,
mother
with cuts on the wrist,
mother
and cuts on the throat
mother
i drown my sorrows in substance,
mother,
just like you
mother,
and i cant face the truth
mother
delusions abroad
mother
your replacement to this world,
mother
i am just like you
mother

i will love you till
the days grow solid
as one
and we will be together
one day
your mother, daughters,
and only son
we will coexist
as one
Nov 2013 · 640
halfling
half orphaned little lady
with a half mended heart
and half opened ears
you are half awake
and half asleep
you are separated into
two halves

the walls are scratched in black
from unknown nails
and mindless knives
you tested the dullness
on an open wrist
and your skin
split
in
half

you missed a spot
on your ***** soul
keep cleaning,
for you've got
an ethereal growing mold
in those dark corners
where no one gazes
Nov 2013 · 360
Lost Wanderer
Every tree in the forest
Fell right at the same time
And nothing in that moment
Felt so far away from the sky.

You breathed your last
Through an autumn mist
The sky turned gray
And those leaves were a thing of the past.

Where will you go now,
Lost wanderer?
Will the clouds
Mourn for you;
The free bird?
Nov 2013 · 287
Untitled
why didnt i **** me
when i had the chance
bottles upon bottles
of ****** weapons
to ruin a life
or take it all away
why didnt i **** me
when i had the chance

i hope these pills take it all away
one for you, one for me, the other 33
for all the words i couldn't say
here is my epilogue, i hope
you read it

maybe they should have put me in the hospital
when they had the chance
maybe i'm just meant to be a patient
sleeping in the morgue
disembowel me with your finest of tools
i'm not sure my organs
are quite worth it
anymore
Nov 2013 · 313
Untitled
so now
i will suffer without you
find myself in the whiskey
lose myself to the keys
they print out letters to feel for

leave me alone
you said, with bitter emphasis
i cant stop crying
i cant stop victimizing
hate me until i
finally can curl up
and die

wrap those lovely fingers
tight around my throat
let me collapse
in your grasp
oh my only one left
why are you like this
Nov 2013 · 400
hands
the same hands that once loved you
are now the ones wrapped around your neck
i can't breathe so smooth
like the way your chest will rise
and fall

i promised no more
but came up with many
words you'll never see,
you wouldn't care to, anyway.
and we used to breathe together
so it's gotten hard for me to
without you

it breaks my heart
to look into your eyes
and see the sins i have deployed
upon your love
it's over, now
all is said and done.

i came, i conquered, i saw
i put it all together
just to tear it apart
and sighs can not expel the darkness
creeping through my mind.

bleeding will give you
no forgiveness
and screaming will hinder
no blows
stop your crying, young soldier
you cannot claim the victim this time

the same hands that felt you
are now gone forever
Nov 2013 · 489
sagacity
sweetness dripping
down your throat
and artificial energy shooting
through your veins

emptiness is sitting
cross legged beside you
spelling all the names
of the people your eyes brushed past

and you are alone
with your sorry self
not much for you to say
to the one whose come to be this way

the air is cold and crisp
waiting for you to seek out the sun
and the winter winds are sneaking up on us
to blow our minds to waste

infinity, and the time it takes to get there
i will not chase forever
the trees are humming vibrations full of
love,
life,
light

can you hear them?
Nov 2013 · 472
it wears me out
friendship
the bond between two strangers
bringing them together as one
fragile yet empowered
with makeshift strings of imaginary steel

lust
the demon between two outsiders
bringing them closer
but not any deeper than the skin
hiding from what burns within

love
the enigma holding us all together
and pushing us farther apart
it is the essence of friendship
and the enemy of lust

you
were my best friend
and we fell prey to lust
but we still have that love
don't we?

i
haven't lost it all, yet
but soon enough, at this rate
i must
unconditional
and irrevocable
i will always love.
Nov 2013 · 374
Untitled
i don't care if it rhymes anymore
it just needs to come out
victims of birth all lined up
like cogs in a machine

steel lined bodies all ready for war
their minds were blown away
by the winter winds
so they carry their weapons of mass creation
to destroy the whole world

seasons change every year
it's something you can count on
i'll be changing, too,
november has arrived
to carry me away from you.

because you're no celestial body, no
gravitational pull expelling from your fingertips
you are just like all of us
you are a parasite

there is a rage growing inside me
i will break free
i'll rip up these floor boards
leave you inside

nail up your coffin and break you free
when you've decided to put it to the side
forgive me
or forget me
shallow as these polluted streams
the city will put to sleep
Nov 2013 · 413
Scalded
Mentally feed the flames
With old, useless emotions
The smoke is putrid;
Make sure not to inhale.

Ashes of an
Easily forgotten love
Burn slow, burn eternal
The fire licks at your scars

His name imprinted
Into your already ruined skin
Do not think about it
Anymore.

Sit and enjoy the company
Of your lost pride
Lost love
But don't stay for too long
Don't speak too loud,
But don't stay silent.

Don't give me those eyes
The same ones you masked with honesty
While you'll told me all those lies
You never really loved me.

I know you're empty
I am too
But I will no longer be
Bursting full of you.
Nov 2013 · 672
ignite
If only I could step out of this skin
and tear myself to shreds,
limb by ******* limb,
sin by ******* sin.

i am fighting this battle
the way fire
fights to stay alive
burning all it can

the words are growing emptier, now
the rage inside
singes your heart and soul
and as the embers began to rise
what remains are ashes
of the unfound

life's unknowing prey
is gazing at the stars
reflecting from the eyes
of a black clean slate

the heavens are watching you, too
they meet your gaze with anticipating glances
your pleas go unheard,
your mind loses itself, it turns
and as you're writhing,
it's still staring

your lungs were full of smoke
and you didn't seem to care
your eyes were squeezed closed
as you breathed the toxic air

and so it goes,
another one down
our lives all worth the same
we are waiting for the sound
of a thousand death rattles
clattering
through clamped teeth

so the fire burns on
singing it's same old song
of snaps and sizzles
you can hear it laughing
from behind your aimless maps
and *****-deep riddles.
Nov 2013 · 479
whoops, another one
my fixation is
slowly fading away
and its ties to my heart
are fraying at the end

i can breathe again
for myself,
freedom comes in increments
starts with gnawing at your own teeth
and writing for yourself

i hope my silence leaves you empty handed
and you will know then what you had
when you forced my love to disbandment
for a while there, i was pretty sad.

but i'm moving past you now
like a stream smoothing over the rocks
while your head is up in the clouds
i'll be learning how to talk
again

you made me mute
in your torment
our one sided theories face the refute
i will no longer remain silent.

i will embrace the air like
a long lost relative
abandoned by the sands of time
i gave all i had to give
and now i will reclaim what is mine
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
frigid parasites
going without sleep is a thrill
how many drugs will i take before
my demeanor is crystal clear
with angelic brushes of grace and sincerity

when will i love my mind, body and soul
when will the snow come for me?
let the frost overcome my body heat
let it burrow into my skin
frigid parasites to devour us whole

my limbs are shaking
with energy from
drug induced freedom
from the shackles of feeling

do i abuse it,
or does it abuse me?
Nov 2013 · 859
incomplete
let's give a go
at something new
find some new topic of prose
not so tangled, and overused.

take your shadows and
wring them out to dry
let the sun soak them away
and you'll be left with gold
in your heart,
in your soul

self loathing, victimizing
you're not fooling anybody.
stand up and face yourself
drown out the remnants of battles
you nearly lost
and be free of this

call it an omen,
call it a sign
but when you dream
it shines

spiderwebs hanging from your fingers
you are stationary
homeostasis distorts
but you're still extraordinary.
Nov 2013 · 689
The Last Rose of the Season
i should not be writing to you
but for the last time, i am
i'm sorry if i smothered you
i'm sorry for all the days i left
covered in time's sands.

i'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it
for all the times i've broke you
it must have meant something, must have
wrap your fingers around my throat, too
squeeze until i breathe no more

i cannot fathom
the pain
of your absence
i cannot forget
the love
we shared

so i'll keep it to myself
all those things i wish i said
this will be the last time
i give you my soul
in words and rhymes

it is so hopeless, now
the terror you brought
into me
the way your arms
would hold me

all the accusation and excuses
my clumsy mouth would spew
every artist will have their muses
this love was never true.

and we lingered in abandoned homes
haunted forests
with graves cluttering the ground
how can i forget

i'll go now, quietly
and fight my way free
my heart strings will no longer sing
for you

the last rose of the season
the last kiss you delivered upon my lips
we fell apart with no rhyme or reason
the love i thought you'd miss.
Nov 2013 · 408
From My Bed
My bed is haunted
With reminants of you
Where dreams linger,
And touch echoes.

A deck of cards
With a king of hearts
Fifty two reasons why
I fell in love with you

But now it's time to back away
From the catastrophe at hand
Two hearts collided
With no where left to run

It's grown old and tired
Fleeting, easily
You came,
How will you go?
Nov 2013 · 634
Sunflower
The flower
You gave me
Rotted, too

And the November air
Brought us farther apart
Your blank stares
Are tearing up my heart.

Everything is dying,
I need to get out and see
The last life has to offer
Before it gives up on me.

I've lost my voice
To the winds in my lungs
I don't have a choice;
We are coming undone.
Nov 2013 · 1.3k
autumn sweaters
barely audible, like the leaves falling at night
the trees shed their autumn sweaters
as we shed ours for each other
and it was the sound of
two bodies breathing together
in the sanctity of solitude

and they are solemnly at peace
one for convenience,
one for the love
she quivers like the breeze
he misses the love he can no longer see.

we are just two broken phantoms
left hollow by the beginnings and ends.
it all bleeds together
after a while

so we go grabbing,
struggling for that release
from some love that made its way free
wont you reach with me, darling?

waiting for you to open your eyes
and see me in a different light
is like me trying to find
the courage for the demons i have to fight.

so maybe it's time
for me to open my mind
to learn how to look you in the eye
without falling for you
every
****
time.
Nov 2013 · 388
Untitled
You are the frigidity in my bones
I am consumed by you,
Like the way the autumn moans,
And succumbs to the winter moon.

I love you from your eyes to your entrails,
your mind to your skin so pale.
From the depths of your ribs
to the safety of your skull.
Your sins, your blessings,
you as a whole.

and time is moving faster
the night has grown long
my heart a slave, your touch the master
you make my skin sing the loveliest of songs.

i could not begin to bring up
where i end
and you begin
you are all i need, but you've had enough

so let me fade away
from the place you gave me in your heart
i promise the words i say
will end as soon as they could start

hate this and i'll love you
all the same
that word's got me up all night

i don't even want something new,
no, for you are the rain
washing away the blight
of loneliness
Nov 2013 · 197
Untitled
You are bound by frayed strings
Latched onto my heart
Rip them out and I'll feel the sting
Of the end replacing a start.

I'm sorry I'm so fragile
And for the way I wither without you
My heart sings for you still
But I know your chest is mute.

The past is a mirror
We look in to find
Whether you are gone or here,
You are always on my mind.
Oct 2013 · 253
Untitled
am i your curse
or just steps to rehearse
for the girl who will sweep your heart away
i guess i lie when i say "i'm okay"

because its hard to live life on the edge
where i'm falling faster,
my arms outstretched
were you the wrong heart to go after?

all i want is to be the wings
to keep your heart in the clouds
to be the one to set you free
from all the pain you've been bound.

but am i the cancer,
the shackles on your ankles?
love has so many answers
from each different angle.

i want to be
your only
key.

with your hands between my thighs,
and your eyes on mine,
i do not see the past.
i see a future that we could have.

but this future is dead and gone,
i guess you could say it's all my fault.
when i say i'm confused,
it's because i don't know if i'm now losing
all that's left to lose.
Oct 2013 · 548
Untitled
I'll write it to you
Since there's no one else listening
But I'm not even sure you are, too.
When you're gone, something is missing.

I know it's all been said before
But I can't quite get it out of my system
I'm sure you know what it's like; standing behind closed doors
That hopelessness we get when we miss them.

I know you know what I mean
All you wanted was to be loved
So go, wash your body clean of me
Sometimes it's all we can do, when push comes to shove.

I want you there in my most intimate of times
I want you so much closer.
Here I go again with these ****** rhymes,
Unsynchronized disposer.

Come over, make yourself at home
Share a cup of tea with me.
We don't have to go at this alone,
We can't shoulder this animosity.

Soaking in your old bath water
That detachment you got fueling
Reminds me of my father.
The way you look at me so coolly.

You are the sunshine
Peeking through my curtains
Good morning, good night
Could we make amends?
Oct 2013 · 325
Untitled
m not suicidal or anything, i just really want to die

reflection in the water, look between the lines

see the difference between being here and being alive.

i got nothing left to say

been sitting on my lonely *** all

******* day

from summer, to fall

nothing has changed.

i’m still on this precipice

you’re still tired

of me and my explosive fits

you have this patience i can admire.

my lungs are full of disintegration

and my heart has been screaming all day

give me a sign, some sort of revelation

give me something more to say.
Oct 2013 · 1.5k
Untitled
fingers intertwined
like bodies in the night
warm smiles fight the vacant eyes
staring back at me

i hate the way i can't live without you
and how you couldn't care less
but you say you love me, do you,
we used to be limitless

codeine in her veins and
tobacco on her tongue
she's just a bit insane
but she loves the fresh air in her lungs
and the wind in her hair
her heart's still there
beating on,
everything that is
has still begun
Oct 2013 · 374
hello
hello you and your
crooked smile
how are you and your
river of denial
are you drowning,
are you living?
are you ever really
here?

hello, love
and your blistered hands
where are you tonight
and are you still in love?
i never meant to hold such
high demands
i just wanted it to be right
i wanted it to be love
the love i'm undeserving of

words that rhyme
syllables locked in time
hello, my dear
are you still here?

say goodbye
to what once was
go and let it die.
just because.
Oct 2013 · 459
someone help me
you set me on fire
i feel like i've said it all before
already worn words
reborn into new sentences
they don't quench your thirst, no

you know, i never was a liar
but you are a thief
my heart rips right on out for you
falls to your feet, but you wont fix it, no
maybe for once its not me who isn't good enough

so how could you do this to me?
you've ****** the words and love right out me
what am i now,
an empty shell?
i don't know why, but i sure know how
boy, you've put me through hell

call me the **** but who gets head
twice in two weeks?
oh wait, but
there goes those words fillin me with dread.
who's the one who ******* ***** me?

i can't do it anymore
and when the words dry up like this i
forget exactly what i'm living for.
Oct 2013 · 288
10/4
I got him by my side
going down the road
but he's not really there, no,
he's got someone else on his mind

and it's got me feelin kinda blue, you know?
when the man you love
just can't love you,
no hope.

but kiss me hard before you go
and hold me tighter than ever before
it's because of you, now i know
i've become a sick and twisted little *****.

but this isn't me, you see
the past few months
can't show
my true colors.

but i've said it more than once
and he don't trust me, no
no more.

the lights go out
when you
walk away
Oct 2013 · 1.0k
forgive me, lover
if i could write the right words
i would
if i could sing the proper song
i would
and if i could turn back time,
pretend it never happened,
oh god, how i would.

if i could find the cure
for your broken heart
it wouldn't take too long
to put back together, what i tore apart
if i could find
all the love we have mentioned
oh god, if i could.

this time's different, you see
because i'm finally learning
from these endless mistakes
i'm done with the insanity
they hopeless pain cycling
darling, if i go without you
i'll get the shakes
lost without you,
i swear this time i mean it.

it's hopeless,
don't tell me it's hopeless
because the only hope i have
is trapped inside that chest of yours
and those moments we shared, they're priceless
without you, i'll go mad.
my skin is lost
without yours

my words have no accountability
my actions are set in stone
i am fraught with hostility
towards no one but my own

forgive me, lover,
for i have sinned.
Sep 2013 · 673
hospital bed
so you're finally dying
today
like you said you would
yesterday
and i'm still here waiting
for the day
that comes, only as it should.

and she held on anyway
pushed and pushed
till her body gave way
first the liver,
then the kidney
your mind was lost in the shiver
and you missed me

i kissed your hands
bruised and pale
your forehead
scarred and frail
with its bandages
time slipping like sand
blood runs red
your bones hollow
like canyons

and you fell down
a few too many times
and your seizures
were the sound
of life's irrevocable fines

and now you lay in your
hospital bed
my only mother
is left for dead
i'd stand by your side
despite all the hell you showed me
you are on my mind
i still don't remember
the last time you
phoned me
Sep 2013 · 289
sick
please,
please just give me a line
something to say
some words to speak
leave,
leave me a sign
that everything is okay
that i am not truly
this weak

where are my words,
dear god, they've vanished.
the panic one experiences
when they've lost all they've got

i thought i learned
i thought i'd manage
a string of disappearances
sickened by writers block
Sep 2013 · 423
little one
you are the flickering light
here today, gone tomorrow
you are the enigmatic flash
shining to and fro

i am the all consuming dark
******* away at your last energy
gentle, gentle grasps
to end the pain
inhale slow
exhale it all
take your own advice

senseless, meaningless gibberish
all these words have come to be
i long now for eternal rest
and your arms to hold me on the way there
all i dream of is you and me
alive and free
but this world is no fair, no
no fair.
Sep 2013 · 404
not finished
work of the artist
never comes easy
one, two, here we go
down another road
to the unknown

time is fleeting
humming tunes of wisdom
why must the broken feel so deeply
only cause you loved them

one rose left
till the season's over
the wind's blowing harder
but you still haven't faced death

survive
the number one goal is
breaking loose
off the tracks
but we're still alive
despite this
throw away your noose!
don't make this breath your last!

present tense hypocrisy
not quite alone
but alone enough
in misery
i can feel it in my bones
this sudden rush
Sep 2013 · 767
86
86
I'm tired of fighting myself
emotionally drained
unsustained
with empty promises i
will contract some sanctity
for you

these words lack the luster
to get you back to me
in my arms
in the home of your soul
i've gone off the rails.

a narrow minded walk through the
paths life has to offer
living for others
without a true lover
i don't know what i need
to make it out alive

who am i kidding,
we all lose at this game
called life
our time runs out
call it quits,
86
don't push it, baby
you've gone too far

100 words down
a few billion more to go
until i run out
they've lost their flow
live
without

death is only a horizon
and i'm ready for my ships
to set sail
i'm ready for
my suns to set

they call it a gift,
some kind of magic
don't waste it,
lose it

a shot in the dark
a walk in the park
a day to remember
and a night to forget
God wouldn't save her
if it came down to her last breath

hide the knives and
hide the drugs from me
i am a hazard to society
i am a hazard to myself

crazy.
Sep 2013 · 521
Untitled
loneliness does not equate to a lack of love
paths are to be followed,
not to be spoken of
when it's all over, when all is said and done
all that is left are the echoes
of all the lives you have touched

hey man,
you alright?

i got a lot on my mind
and this pinch in my side.

well tell me why,
you don't gotta bottle it all up

too many words and
too little time
i can't really tell down from up
because i'm perfectly insane
in all the right ways
i seem to fit this sort of criteria
of how many tears i've cried
and lives denied.

well you know i'm here for ya,
i don't quite know what to say,
except it'll all be okay

but that's the thing man, it wont
because it gets bad before it gets good
and it gets good so it can get bad
i have felt much less love that i have shown
but that's all good cause i don't get all that i should
i don't know, man, i just get kinda sad
sometimes i kinda miss my mom and dad

but they were ****, weren't they?
and you know, that's okay.

you gotta quit saying that
because it's not alright, not okay
i've gotten so tired and lonely and fat
not much else to say
i'm gonna go now man
see you another day.

left on the phone line
wouldn't know their heart was breaking
over their own knee, in with the car key
the ignition, the ride,
their simple lies that everything's just fine

over the bridge
or through the trees
down the mountains
or into the sea

hey man,
you alright?
Aug 2013 · 537
one eyed poet
your bell jar
with a loose close
have you ever seen
the lights in your eyes

the blood is caked
under the stars
nothing to lose, nothing to show
you'll never know what i mean
when i say goodbye

a one eyed poet
chain smoking his cancer away
he felt only death, but wouldn't show it
until the pen carried him away

the only cure
to this disintegrating mind
is no longer death
only the future
and so it goes, time left behind
deep breaths.

rope burns along your neck
where it was too thin for the noose
no one came to check
on your diamond red and blues

reap your crop
and show your fate
under the eyes of destruction
will your fear satiate

know when to stop
before it's too late
no single minded confession
can rewind this hate.
Aug 2013 · 404
dear (you know who you are)
before you get that shotgun
before you hold it to your head
i want you to think of me.

before you set your suns,
before you're already dead,
i want you to dream.

that day i kissed you
the first day we met
because i was broken,
and you were too
and we got caught in some endless
mess

and then we stopped talking
but don't think of that
because i'm still here today
and i want you to be here
tomorrow

six feet under, the soil is not calling
for you
remember the forest where we sat
i felt alive and okay
no fear,
no sorrow

i want you to think of these
before you go
i will write you a million words
if it'll change your mind.

we hid away behind towering trees
watching the smoke blow
i hope you heard
when i told you, you're one of a kind.

remember when we slept together
and how it was all so awkward
because we weren't meant for each other
but yet, here we are.

i don't know why you came into my life
but i can't let you go out.
don't extinguish the flame
that blessed us with you.

i know it gets hard to fight
and no matter how loud you scream, or shout
it still remains the same
nothing left to lose.

please think of me
before you go
your death breath will rattle in me
get caught in my throat
and we will breathe no more
hearts too sore

please don't go.
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