I'm tired of kissing the mouth of a bottle
and trying to sip happiness from a glass
Because alcohol only gives false impressions
of love and joy
And when it wears off
I'm left exactly where I was before
Except I smell of ***** and cigarettes

Once
I met a boy with soft grey eyes
that matched the color of his sweatshirt
His smile was tentative but it made him mildly more attractive
He didn't say much but he listened intently
And I wondered what he was thinking
But he gave nothing away
Once
I talked to a boy with soft grey eyes
that peered into mine
and blond hair
that he kept pushing off of his forehead
In closer proximity with him I realize
He's a very striking young man
Once
I had dinner with a boy with soft grey eyes
that paired well with the purple shirt he was wearing
Everything he said captivated me
He talked steadily but quietly
He was charming and funny
and I have never been so hypnotized
Once
I fell in love with a boy with soft grey eyes
and a heart bigger than his head
He brushed kisses over my forehead like the words he spoke
Gentle and sweet but strong
so that I knew he loved me too
Once
I fought with a boy with soft grey eyes
that projected his silent anger
when he had no more to say
It was my fault and I pushed him too far
until his face turned dark
and he let his hair fall onto his face
because he was too enraged to push it away
But he never rose his voice
he never yelled
he always kept the love in his voice
But once
I lost a boy with soft grey eyes
Because the soft grey turned dark
until the love seemed to slip away
It was still there, I knew, but it was harder to see
And I still thought about the boy I met that day
Quiet and reserved
hardly saying two words but he slowly stole my heart
but taking it all away until I wished I had met him
Only once

In the middle of the night
I felt you move towards me
I felt your head lie on my shoulder
resting exactly where I wanted it to be
But when I reached out my hand
as to pull you closer,
I was met with the coolness of empty sheets
And as I sat up to look for you
I realized I was in my own room
in a bed devoid of any other human
And it had all been a dream

I HAD A DREAM THAT YOU WERE SLEEPING NEXT TO ME
BUT WHEN I WOKE UP YOU WEREN'T THERE

You've been trying to save me
ever since I fell
But what you seem to forget
is that you're the one
who threw me out of heaven
And now
that my wings are burned
and I'm declining
at terminal velocity
You want to reach out
to be my salvation
But it's too late for me
I've gone too far
and lost too much
to find my way back
And honestly
I'd rather crash head first
into the hell that awaits me
than to accept deliverance
from the one who murdered me

As I lay in my bed
in my room
in my own house
I don't feel at home
Because I feel like a home isn't confined to the four walls in which you reside
but in where you're heart lies
So why would I claim a home where I feel pressured and unappreciated
when my home is wherever I'm with you