I gave you everything I had
2. and let it all be taken away
3. One mistake to many
4. One push too far
5. I walked a line that was too blurry to see
6. and fell on the side that you weren't on
7. And I'm sorry
8. I'm so so sorry
9. for leaving
10. even when I didn't want to
11. for taking you for granted
12. for not realizing you're all I needed
13. for telling you I loved you too much
14. or not enough
15. I'm not sure
16. for never knowing what to say
17. but hoping that you would just know
18. for not spending every moment I could with you
19. because now you're gone
20. and I would do anything to get you back
21. But I don’t know what to do
22. I don’t know
23. I never know
24. I'm sorry
25. For everything
26. Because it's my fault
27. It's all my fault

There are advantages
To isolation of romance
And anything regarding emotion
But at the end of the day
Despite the thought of freedom
And repetitive reflections of past discomfort
It is challenging to lay alone
Slowly becoming accustomed to a bed to yourself
Realizing the new space and profound independence
But I will always miss the warmth of a body
There is something captivating about flesh on flesh
Body on body, enveloping each other in balmy breaths
Tangling legs like tired shoe laces
Wrapping tightly, pushing away the thought of anything else
There is something peaceful about that
Though cold sheets are refreshing
Warm bodies are reassuring
There is something about the way it feels
The way their chest rises when they breathe
Not even realizing how you have memorized how it elevates
There is nothing more tranquil
I know that living it up and being free is wonderful
Never taking the risk of heartbreak is solacing
Doing what you please, when you please is disentangling
Absence of amour is sometimes divine
But every craves affection intermittently
Even if they do not admit to it

thinking of you
is like stargazing
with a roof over my head
confusing and frustrating
there's no point
except to get under my skin

thinking of you
is like sitting
around a bonfire
simple and comforting
it warms me
from the inside out

thinking of you
is like open heart surgery
agonizing and risky
not sure if it will fix the problem at hand
but it greatly decreases the risk

thinking of you
is like smoking
an unlit cigarette
tormenting and disappointing
what I want sitting in my hand
with no way to ignite it

thinking of you
has never been an easy task
there have always been tribulations attached
because you are such a complex entity
but I often wonder
if you sit around
thinking of me

I am my own person
and I make my own decisions
Sometimes they're stupid
and irresponsible
But they're mine
and occasionally
when she jumps off a bridge
I will take the dive with her
But when I know we will not return to climb up once more
I wait at the bottom
ready to break her inevitable fall
Yes she will influence me
and at times it will be for the worst
and I would follow her to the ends of the earth
But I am me
and she is her
So let me make my own calls
and stop worrying that she will break me

You believed in me when no one else did
You told me you saw my worth
when I couldn't even see it in myself
You saved me by opening my eyes to the cliffs edge on which I was teetering so desperately
Because your love for me was unconditional
when I thought it was dependent on your perception of who I was
But you always thought of me as the girl you first met,
pure and innocent,
too repressed to even say two words to you
But slowly you brought me out of my shell,
got to know me because you found genuine interest in me as a person
But I don't deserve your fondness
or your adoration
Because I'm not worthy of anything you could give me
But I thank you
for giving it to me anyway

Your façade is a lie that you're telling so beautifully
that I don't want to interrupt
by exposing your truth
even if it would save you

Laying with my body pressed against yours
Hearing your breathing sing in my ears
Like a choir in an empty church
An echo that keeps me awake
Holding onto every last piece of you
Memorizing how your chest elevates
How your brow curls when you're angry
How your lips form the half crescent moon when you smile
How you walk with such confidence and stand in such a way that makes people wonder why you would ever sit down
Your body is a sculpture that I stand in wonder at
The detail astounds me, I am in admiration of such artistry
You are so exquisite, I hope I can show you one day
To see yourself as I do