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That old coat, the one you wore,
You wore in laughter,
Drenched in rain, cold water  pouring, droplets of pearls,
Glistening in light of the single star, the one,
Which didn’t die yet.

That old coat, which sits by the fire,
A hearth of orange, now only black,
Devoid of colour, life, warmth,
A dead tinderbox, of passed emotion,
And happy feeling, all turned grey.

That old coat, frayed, torn.
The brown leather faded in patches,
Patches of memory, think back,
To happy days once before,
That old grey coat, you used to wear.

That old grey coat, stained in mud,
Undistinguished in the rough hide,
And broken seams, rough stitches,
Coarse repairs to hide the scars,
Of just been worn out.

That old coat,
You used to wear,
The one which was a part of you,
Sitting on a rusty peg, holding memories, so carefully.
The snap. The drop. The thud. The coat falls.
And the thoughts shatter again.
The coat was one which belonged to my great uncle John (Who I took my middle name from) when he went and enlisted in the army during WWII. He left it on the peg the day he went and enlisted and never returned for it because he died fighting for our freedom. It needed a story.
You cant
Break
Something
That is already
Broken

Unless
You pick up the pieces
And
Grind them
To
Dust
I did my make up and I did my hair
I even found something pretty to wear
I put on heels for the first time in weeks
I look at the clock and it reads three

I waited patiently by the door
Soon it was quarter past four
You said you'd be hear at half past three
I wonder if you had somewhere else to be

The clock hands keep moving, now it reads five
Maybe, I thought, you forgot how to drive
And all this way, you had to walk
Still I waited and there was no ring or knock

The clock relentlessly still ticks
And now it reads ten after six
My phone buzzes on the arm of the chair
"Hello, are you there?"

Stuck sitting a hospital waiting room
Terrified and anxious, awaiting the news
Its only a matter of time
The clock hands tick over to nine

Tonight was supposed to be a fairy tale
Instead it rated a ten on the horror scale
The clock read 11:03 when they told me the news
There was too much damage and they couldn't save you
My 100th poem added to this site.
If I could, If I had the courage
I'd run away....

Far... where the forgotten kidnapped children are buried
Far... where oxygen has no name
And I'd walk there like a barefooted gypsy
The insanity of it all driving me sane

Far... where the undiscovered grows
Far... where danger begins
And I'd inhale it all like it was natural
I guess, danger and I will be friends
you kissed me sideways
in the light of a harvest moon
and i never wanted to return to reality again
     but i did
and it hurt

like a newly aquired broken bone
while trying to master the art of the monkey-bars
in a humid july
     all those sunburned years ago

i never did learn

not how to fly from one bar to the next
not how to cartwheel into your heart
and certainly not how to be your definition of "beautiful"

    i only learned how to define such a filthy word myself

so with skinned knees
and bruised shins
     i climbed
up the ladder
into the sun
where i burned off my hardness
and my hurt

into the sun
     where i shine

and find myself
     finally
lovely as can be

this is me
the freckle-faced mess
who finds the gorgeous in every flaw
every snagged seam
every falling hem

     it all just seems
so very human to me

and what a lovely way to be
in such an inhumane reality

let me show you just how pretty your crooked smile really is
let me teach you to find the magic of a broken heart
     and a bruised ego
let us dance
together
to the tune-deaf sing-song of the world that we live in
let my eyes be your mirror
     so that you'll never question your own worth
not again

every star shines its brightest
when there isn't a soul to be found
who is measuring their light

it's your turn to shine
     just like the light of that rust colored harvest moon
so many moons ago

twinkle twinkle
     my dear
I love you,
But,
you do not know it yet.

tremulously,
I sit by you,
greet you at a party,
push your glass of drink closer to you.

And sometimes my heart asks,
can i be closer to you?
Can i come over?
and we, us, ourselves, make things new?


We have been friends for so long.



I do not know,
how or when it started,
but this softening of my limbs,
this pinkening of lips,
this lowering of my dress,
comes more frequently now.

I do not remember,
when the blue green blue of your eyes became beautiful,
or your smile a magnet for my gaze
How when you indulge what I have to say my heart leaps,
dances,
chimes,
Then quietly puts itself away again.


You know me,
but I want you to know me like this.
I want you to know me in odds and ends
and under starlight or in warm sheets.

I want you to know me,
as I have started to know you.
found myself, lying on the emptiness of the city looking at the clouds, watching how the dark sky begins the show himself holding hands with the moon. And in the quietness of the city I lost myself in the immensity of the space and found myself floating near the stars.
So help me please. I don't know if I'm dreaming or have I just drank too much. I don't know if the colors I see, are they real or not. I don't know if this is the actual sound of silence I've been waiting for. I don't know if I'm dead, and if I'm dead, do I really enjoy it or should I go back to life? I don't know..
And as I look back the Earth seems to be falling down through a tunnel of meteorocks, so I struggle to make it there but then I feel like I'm drowning in this sea of darkness which froze me up and made me lose my mind.
After a while the Earth just stopped moving and so did I. I couldn't control this, the space is in total silence. Have I gone deaf? The moon just stared at me as if saying 'you are not here'. That's when I saw this hand holding me, taking me higher.
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