The whites of your eyes were yellow
Yellow like old parchment
The heavy dark bags beneath them made you old
The disgust was plain
And your words like *****
The first tears spilled across my lips
And I ran, not looking back
In my infinite sadness I flourished
The dark whispering deadly soft words in my ears
And so I never forgot

This neon world, so lit with colored glow
My midnight wanderings, they reek of you—
So hidden in the air, nowhere to go,
This nebula, it lies, and clouds my view.

You’ve stripped me of my solitude so long
I can’t imagine days without you there
It’s taken my whole life to see, you’re wrong—
My strength depends not on this sick affair.

I can’t be angry, no, for it’s my fault—
I let you shine your beam upon my fears,
Escort me in a red white blue assault
Red light, green—I hate what once I revered.

I cry, I scream, there’s no way to unbind
Illuminate my soul— Please! I am blind.

In front of an unfamiliar wall,
stands the couch,
the lamp,
the tablecloth
I still remember.

Three smiling faces,
blown up in my mind
and another, invisible,
convergence of molecules,
gathering of dreams,
that was me.

Their arms around each other,
a closer focus
and I can smell the excitement
Strong and vivid
as the aroma of festive noodles
surely steaming nearby

And another,
cropped out of the photographic evidence
but not
from the panoramic view my heart is guarding,
Eyes smiling through the lens
as if somehow aware
of my smile, he was shooting too

Stopped at a light
napkin and pen
Feverishly write
of world and of Men
It's my kneel, and my prayer-
napkin and pen upon wheel
Everything we feel
then the light's on what's right
and none of it's real

You remind me of a poem I forgot to write. I let the words coat the back of my tongue and the letters drip down my throat, accentuating an itch I couldn’t bring myself to scratch.