its been a while, you know
since i've last seen you
for you were the reason my pen would touch my heart
writing poetry on these walls we once made love in
for you have escaped my mind to a foreign land
i miss you, please return home
for i am begging you, you made me cry, you let me create art
i didnt long for inspiration because you were imprinted in my mind
now you're gone

but here i am once again
writing poetry on these walls i now sit alone
no longer needing our moans, breath, tears to write the words
its just my memories of what we once we had
what we no longer have

i wish i could slit my throat
so all of the dead flowers are free
for you killed them
every last one
they were once live and vibrant
like i was
until they were picked by the wrong hands
they no longer know how to grow anymore

i remember the night you ****** my soul out of my body
how kissed me so hard, you stole my breath
when you inserted yourself into me
holding me down, making me scream
i didnt want it
you did
you stole everything i worked for
now im a mess
left to stare at a skeleton that was once covered in flesh
how could you steal me from myself?

you stole the oxygen from my lungs
you were so breathtaking, i quite literally couldn't breath
you watched as my face went blue, me reaching out, struggling for breath
and yet you just stared as if you were satisfied
that i was suffocating right in front of your eyes

you never let me breath again

you use to read me like a book
making up different stories about me that were true
for you told me i reminded you of your favorite character
they were someone who had dreamed of being with
and i was them, the perfect specimen in your eyes
i was the story you had been craving to change, to edit
you wanted to me to be your happy ending
but i wasn't
for i was me and not them
and you didnt like that
so you decided to close the book
ending the story suddenly

skin me alive, i beg of you to do so
take off my skin layer by layer, laying it in acid
so it devolves, leaving nothing behind
i want you to them remove my limbs
piece by piece
throw them into the water so they float away, to find a better home
i want you to break every bone that makes up my skeleton
why you ask?
so you can no longer break my heart
i want you take my organs and eat them
so you can taste the pain you caused me
and lastly, take my blood
put in a jar and freeze it so it lasts forever
that way you always know what you did to me
you made my blood spill all over the floor
when you said good bye
for i no longer wanted to be a human
i no longer wanted to exist
so i beg of you
to take me a part

"look at the pretty colors!" you whispered as you pointed to the sky
i watched them as they went by
the feeling of myself floating on the clouds with you was too real
i remembered you reaching for my hand
telling me it was the smoothest one you've ever felt
how you never wanted to let go

i held onto your soul and kissed it
making sure you knew i worshipped you
for the drugs were making me forget
but i wanted to remember this moment forever
you told me it was the shrooms
that made you say those things
yet i didnt want to believe you

for the trip caused you to fall in love with me
i was only good enough to provide the love when you needed it
i thought the love was me
my presence
my smooth hands
the clouds
but i soon found out
it was just the drugs
it was just the shrooms