I got fined for littering
by the roadside –
just how unjust can the world get, you tell me!
Look, I agree I’m a *****
but think about it -
it’s just the normal thing to do

I was walking along the road
when I felt it was time
and I gave birth to puppies
by Rotweiler Road;
and this dumb guy comes up in his uniform
and gives me a ticket for littering –
well, I was really barking mad
What could I do? Well, at least I bit him on his ***,
that’s what I did!

Imagine the temerity, giving me a ticket
for littering – hey, littering is
what ******* do;
it’s the most natural thing to do!
What will you fine next? Breastfeeding in public?

I never saw a peacock fly
before I saw one on my roof
and though I haven't seen
that many, I thought I
had seen enough

To speak with some authority
about the way that peacocks
travel, which as far as I knew,
always was on sand and gravel

Their regal nature and the beauty
of their plumes make them one of
nature's wonders, and whenever
I see one, I always stop and wonder

I guess that's why I thought
that peacocks just don't fly

They don't need to hurry,
and never seem to worry,
so they parade along
and let their admirers
marvel at all their splendor

So I was surprised to see
a peacock on my roof,
it surely didn't climb
and there was
no rope or ladder,
but then I heard wings
flapping just above my head
it was another peacock
who went to join his friend

I guess they liked the view
and I learned something new

That even though I would
surely fly, instead of walk,
stretching my legs to
strut my stuff
might be better
if I were a peacock

When a man jumped
off the roof of a thirteen
story building, he yelled

S
o

f
a
r

s
o

g
o
o

I don't know about butterflies
                     but
                         I know happiness.
In my stomach,
           I feel only hunger,
                                             fear
                                    and sometimes indigestion;
                                               but never butterflies.
Even when I see her
              and she smiles at me,

I feel happy
                but my stomach is inactive,
                                        silent.
       ­                                   
But
  when our fingers interlock
                     her eyes meet mine
                   and our smiles parallel,

                         I cannot help
                                                  but
      ­                                                   feel at home.

I placed an ad
outside my office
offering a job in my small company:
The applicant
must be computer literate
and possess secretarial skills
and must be bilingual
(and proudly, I added)
WE ARE AN
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

and this dog came in
and indicated with barks and snout
he wanted the job;
and proved with paws and limbs
and tongue and tail, and with various barks
he had all the skills

Astounded, I put up all sorts of barriers
but the dog could not be stopped by any one
And so I finally said:
“You have demonstrated your skills, sure;
you have barked – but you don’t seem
to know any other popular language…
I can’t offer you the job  -
I need someone bilingual!”

And the dog replied: *“Meow!”

You are not like the sea.
It will never be deep enough,
nor calm enough,
nor lovely enough
to ever hold your substance.
You have engulfed all of it;
every salty drop now sits in lungs
that hold the air I need to survive.
And I will dive as deep as I must
to find the caverns that keep it.
Tides cascade through brimming veins
and currents surge through swelling limbs.
One deep breath is all it takes
to force the sea into your eyes.
And you will hold it there forever;
the tranquil green pools
like puddles forming from
the deepest ocean floors.
You are not like the sea.
You will never be like the sea.
The sea is like you.