a ghost kisses the inside of my wrists
as i reach toward the sky i feel ribs under my fingers
the moon is lovely tonight and id love to spend more time with her

the trees breathe for us, the sun brightens our world
the window leaves a new scene each minute
our mirror images change each glance
our blood flows and lungs expand
bodies get big and small and big and small
the ants crawl at our feet and the birds fly over our heads
we have stardust watching over us at night

the almost summer breeze sends shivers through the trees
the greenery too bright for the cold
my heart aches as the weather changes
but change is always meant to come

Soft green moss underneath my toes accompanied by
The bittersweet breeze of march air and its wind rushing through your bones
The garden is lovely and full of newly blossomed flowers
Ivy hikes up the brick siding of the house
It is a striking emerald,
But it is little compared to the color of your eyes

the chill of the wind rushing through your bones
thrilling biting breaking through walls
what once was lost now lies behind the door
will you open it?

asking them how they are when you know what you've done to them
the heartbreak of realizing you have to break someone's heart
setting up the trap before you realize you are the villain
using them for your own personal needs
how come you two can never kiss when everything is okay

I am alone in these woods
Its silent when trees fall
They were not meant to last
Blocking the path, it is unfamiliar now
I will remain stuck as I have been

the sticky smell of the dogwood blossoms as i drive through the streets most familiar to me
brick houses and front porches and dogs in the backyards
windows down the sun is out but the trees aren't yet green
i could close my eyes and the way would find itself to me
left right right foot on the brakes and park

floating from room to room
my feet never feeling the floor
i sway amidst the others,
standing unknown

My footprints leave marks in the snow
What will I leave behind?
It’s hard to tell what others know,
Will my life be doomed to hide?
How will I leave behind a mark
In this large universe?
We are so small and space is so dark
I guess it could be worse.

As the sun rises from its golden slumbers
The moon decides to rest
The tides reach for what once was there
But now are filled with light
Lifting out of the haze of sleep
The bugs birds and beings bask in their life
Loving dreaming feeling
Breaking burning crumbling
All under the blues of the skies
So beautiful is the extent of the horizon line.

the milk expired today
my head aches
2:00 all day in bed
the table adorned in molded cups and jewelry from the days before
plants need watering, body needs watering
alongside my pillow lies my rings and lighter and glasses
eyes heavy and mind clouded
coffee accidentally too sweet

sometimes i feel pulled down a road im too scared to go down
its steep and dark, monsters linger in the shadows
i want to go down the lighted path
with fairies and floating candles, a welcoming enviroment
but you cant tell if they're just pretending or not
i long to be friends with the goblins and underdogs

for a long time when i looked in the mirror there was a disconnect between what i saw and what i looked like
my cheeks were pudgy and my lips were dry
i had picked apart myself until what was reflected didn't reflect myself

i used to feel so alienated and not be able to express myself at all
then i started taking meds and i can't stop
I'm pouring my heart out into my work
soon there will no blood left for my heart to pump
i write about my pain and suffering
letting the blood pool around the bullet wound in my head
too much is gone, to little is left to hold
i feel like i won't have much longer in this palace
with old gothic architecture and a sad gloomy storm
will the sunny days soon come?

the morning sun melts the ice
the green on the trees seems a shade lighter
the sky around seems brighter
green has always been my favorite color

you decide I'm not good enough for you
giving me bad marks but it's all up to you
call me out but don't let me speak
you make me plagiarize but won't let us sleep
your class is a joke you make me go insane
please stop telling me what to do
i literally want to scream
stuff it down my throat it'll help drown out my words
no matter what you'll do i won't ever keep them down

now whenever i smell sweet pink sugar perfume it makes me sick thinking of how you go around poisoning people with your touch, making them believe they matter to you even though you just wanna get drunk off their love

my thoughts dance around
i can't keep my eyes focused on the road
when did the light turn green?

is just existing truly enough?
to feel the beat in your chest
and the expansion of your lungs,
does that satisfy you?
is life the movements of the flesh
or the activity of the mind

your kiss is as passionate as a dying ember
the fire went out a few hours ago
and here we are, still sitting around the ashes of our dying love for each other

sitting on the cold tile floor
****** and exposed
don't forget your meds, you've already upped your dose
stare at the mirror for hours
forgot who i've become
lying on your back
gazing at the stars
you leave to go home after only an hour
just to wind up back
sitting on the cold tile floor

your hands brush through my hair
bubblegum pink and short
you say you like it better long,
i've considered growing it out
distraught and yearning for help
i reach for you like roots searching for water
but retreat when i see my reflection
will you like the true me?
i hide so much, you can barely see
the things you should know are things you shouldn't
i have scars and stories
would you still want to be with me?
my heart is icy cold
the walls are high and made of steel
it takes more than a spark to take them down

is loneliness always this permanent?
a scar that shows its head as the moon rises
never profound, always blurry
weeks become one day, one day stretches into weeks
interacting with others like a child again
relearning how to be human again

i am drowning in a sea of golden honey
it fills my mouth with a deadly sweetness
that i just can help to love the taste of
soon i will be petrified
but, god, will it be sweet

on sunny days i think
of the taste honeysuckle on your lips
the warmth from the sun illuminating the gold from your hair
the feeling of the wind rushing through your hands
pure bliss and serenity

make me feel alive again
emotions and disgressions shooting holes straight through my hollow head
my mouth cant search for the right words
my head cant fathom all of my fears

sitting by the window, i am a witness to many things
the spirit of the wind rustling the leaves,
then disappearing into the sky,
the sky, so immense and ever changing
always remains in sight
above the heads of passerby pedestrians
they pay no mind
to the beauties of this world
as they walk by.
these passerbyers have their own life,
they are fueled by what appears from their own eyes
they can't see the one
who is fueled by the sight
by the window seat

lavender coffee too late into the night
the caffeine makes it hard to stay seated
my mouth stuck in a grimace from the bitter taste
but i try to fight it every step of the way
a little flourish to make it sweet
but it still manages to linger

the sky, grey and condescending
brings the reminder of the non-stop grandfather clock
cased in old oak with its frontward face
wise with history
these days go by as i sit and rot
in self inflicted solitary confinement
overwhelmed and stuck
behind an open window
watching through as the sun and moon
rotate without knowledge
of my internal afflictions