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576 · May 2021
5/7/2021
phie May 2021
a ghost kisses the inside of my wrists
as i reach toward the sky i feel ribs under my fingers
the moon is lovely tonight and id love to spend more time with her
512 · May 2017
poison envy
phie May 2017
now whenever i smell sweet pink sugar perfume it makes me sick thinking of how you go around poisoning people with your touch, making them believe they matter to you even though you just wanna get drunk off their love
512 · Apr 2021
my sunshine
phie Apr 2021
the morning sun melts the ice
the green on the trees seems a shade lighter
the sky around seems brighter
green has always been my favorite color
434 · May 2016
what's love?
phie May 2016
my heart is beating way too quickly
and i feel like I'm asleep
there's no way for me to see that
this isn't just a dream.
301 · Jul 2017
stuck in a maze
phie Jul 2017
sitting on the cold tile floor
****** and exposed
don't forget your meds, you've already upped your dose
stare at the mirror for hours
forgot who i've become
lying on your back
gazing at the stars
you leave to go home after only an hour
just to wind up back
sitting on the cold tile floor
287 · May 2017
movies at midnight
phie May 2017
She’s got bright red lips and a tinsy tiny black dress
Drinking cussing slurring everything’s related to her lips
Sometimes you two head on downtown and mess around a little bit
Taught me how to tie a cherry knot with my tongue
Hickeys trace your neck cant keep that a secret no more
She’s gotten in your head baby doll don’t let it take control
if you think this is about you, it probably isn't
phie May 2017
you decide I'm not good enough for you
giving me bad marks but it's all up to you
call me out but don't let me speak
you make me plagiarize but won't let us sleep
your class is a joke you make me go insane
please stop telling me what to do
i literally want to scream
stuff it down my throat it'll help drown out my words
no matter what you'll do i won't ever keep them down
242 · Jun 2017
black tar
phie Jun 2017
sometimes waiting is hard
waiting for that spark of inspiration
it gets hard to wake up on my own
motivation is fleeting
it feels like your brain is void
full of the unexplainable
dark energy and matter
taking up space but without any known impact
it's there but can't be seen
you've got to be patient and wait for everything to align
it might be slow and tedious
or so quick it's uncomprehensive
240 · May 2017
shortness of breath
phie May 2017
I'm having chest pains, it's getting harder to breathe
i can't believe i let myself do this to me
stressed beyond belief, i can't handle it
I'm going to explode just like a bursted blood vessel
soon my heart is going to go into cardiac arrest
the beeps on this machine could be a rhythm due to its irregularity
everything gets so bottled up, the pressure is too high
its absolutely terrifying to think that one day we're all gonna die
p.s. if you have chest pains and a shortness of breath those are warning signs of a heart attack so like, you should go get help for that
221 · May 2017
@ you
phie May 2017
decaying roses sitting in a vase
astonishing words come from your pen but your lips are stitched up
you make me have butterflies in my stomach, at display at all times
it seems like I'm an exhibit; please stare straight through my ribcage
sipping slowly on some nice red wine
a picnic during a thunderstorm
your glance shoots through me
like the harsh strike of a lightning bolt
your kiss on my neck leaves dark purple bruises
tracing all the way to my pursed lips
your puppy dog eyes and my ever so fluttering heart
please, just tell me what you want
do you want all this to be directed at you?
force my hands, tell me what to do
my attention time and heart
all
taken up
by you
214 · May 2017
you were a daydream
phie May 2017
why do i miss someone i never loved
all she ever was to me was a distraction
now it seems like she's more of an affixation
am i just jealous?
envious even?
she has a life
that i just want to be in
i could just chalk it up to lust
but then again she might think the same of me
210 · Jun 2017
perfect blue
phie Jun 2017
what happens when you loose control of your avatars
when they become an entity in and of themselves
who am i and which version of myself am i
switching through to find which persona i want to wear
tearing myself apart from the inside out
what am i doing and what have i done
so many lies I've told, what isn't one
I'm losing who i am
can't tell which is truly me
someone help me get a grip on reality
206 · Jul 2017
vanilla scented poison
phie Jul 2017
conflicting thoughts keeping me up at night
i don't think darkness has ever been this welcoming
198 · Jul 2017
u g h
phie Jul 2017
make me feel alive again
emotions and disgressions shooting holes straight through my hollow head
my mouth cant search for the right words
my head cant fathom all of my fears
196 · Jul 2017
untitled love notes
phie Jul 2017
set me ablaze
sweet kisses leave the taste of honey
your hand in mine, side by side
covered in flames
playing with my hair
soft hazy looks
a haphazard smile was all it took
please never leave
you make me all warm inside
with your green eyes and freckles
giving me that look that makes me melt
phie May 2017
on sunny days i think
of the taste honeysuckle on your lips
the warmth from the sun illuminating the gold from your hair
the feeling of the wind rushing through your hands
pure bliss and serenity
187 · May 2017
my heart beats no longer
phie May 2017
i used to feel so alienated and not be able to express myself at all
then i started taking meds and i can't stop
I'm pouring my heart out into my work
soon there will no blood left for my heart to pump
i write about my pain and suffering
letting the blood pool around the bullet wound in my head
too much is gone, to little is left to hold
i feel like i won't have much longer in this palace
with old gothic architecture and a sad gloomy storm
will the sunny days soon come?
182 · May 2017
trigger happy
phie May 2017
I'm scared
scared of being contained
what would happen if i was caged?
it would be lovely and extravagant
i'd be absolutely spoiled
but maybe i crave the adventure of being free
being able to hurt and love without restraint
i don't know what to do
if i leave will it hurt you?
will you spend your time searching for me in others?
would me leaving pull the trigger
will the trap be set and you be doomed?
you say i make you happy
but we'll see how long that stays true
180 · Jul 2017
tear me apart
phie Jul 2017
your hands brush through my hair
bubblegum pink and short
you say you like it better long,
i've considered growing it out
distraught and yearning for help
i reach for you like roots searching for water
but retreat when i see my reflection
will you like the true me?
i hide so much, you can barely see
the things you should know are things you shouldn't
i have scars and stories
would you still want to be with me?
my heart is icy cold
the walls are high and made of steel
it takes more than a spark to take them down
171 · Jul 2017
used
phie Jul 2017
i feel repulsed by your touch
do you just want to use my love for your selfish needs
what do i mean to you?
170 · Sep 2017
losing your flame
phie Sep 2017
slowly by slowly every color decides to fade
ran out of fuel, running on empty
drinking cold cups of old coffee
pressure from all sides
I'm about to expire
and fade away into nothingness so i can't be accused of being a burnout
sometimes it takes a lot to feel again
i wish you could light my spark but it takes time to heal
165 · Feb 2021
skeleton bones
phie Feb 2021
is just existing truly enough?
to feel the beat in your chest
and the expansion of your lungs,
does that satisfy you?
is life the movements of the flesh
or the activity of the mind
164 · Sep 2018
bad situations
phie Sep 2018
I am alone in these woods
Its silent when trees fall
They were not meant to last
Blocking the path, it is unfamiliar now
I will remain stuck as I have been
162 · Nov 2017
bad habits & old habits
phie Nov 2017
asking them how they are when you know what you've done to them
the heartbreak of realizing you have to break someone's heart
setting up the trap before you realize you are the villain
using them for your own personal needs
how come you two can never kiss when everything is okay
161 · Feb 2018
imagery
phie Feb 2018
Thoughts of springs bursting through the side of the mountains
The patient river flowing past the banks
Full of sticks and rocks and deer prints
Idly waiting in the sun surrounded in the warm rays of sunlight
Walking through the narrow path
The dark is cut through by the golden hazy sunshine.
158 · May 2017
but why am i so scared
phie May 2017
we're like fire and ice
so passionate but insanely different
we can't be together for long
for im afraid of melting away
the words you say set fires in my soul
down go the frozen walls I've held onto for so long
the only problem i have, is being still in one place
I'm scared you'll leave me just as a puddle
156 · Feb 2018
b
phie Feb 2018
b
Soft green moss underneath my toes accompanied by
The bittersweet breeze of march air and its wind rushing through your bones
The garden is lovely and full of newly blossomed flowers
Ivy hikes up the brick siding of the house
It is a striking emerald,
But it is little compared to the color of your eyes
154 · Jul 2017
origins
phie Jul 2017
is this what people are gonna remember me by?
being a lazy nobody
average looking and privileged
****** grades and no personality
another human being
without any distinctions
153 · Feb 2018
war?
phie Feb 2018
my head is pounding
my eyes feel heavy, light flashes
like the blue and red on cop cars
i want to close my eyes and never wake up
i long for what i cannot do
how can i sleep when the firing of gunshots sound through my skull
150 · Nov 2017
spinning out
phie Nov 2017
your kiss is as passionate as a dying ember
the fire went out a few hours ago
and here we are, still sitting around the ashes of our dying love for each other
145 · Sep 2018
untitled love notes 2
phie Sep 2018
Am I overreacting?
Is something not wrong and I just don’t deserve the effort he gives?
I gave him a sliver of my heart,
Should I have given him the whole thing?
141 · Sep 2017
magnetic fields
phie Sep 2017
sometimes i feel pulled down a road im too scared to go down
its steep and dark, monsters linger in the shadows
i want to go down the lighted path
with fairies and floating candles, a welcoming enviroment
but you cant tell if they're just pretending or not
i long to be friends with the goblins and underdogs
141 · Feb 2018
nostalgia
phie Feb 2018
Chipped pink nail polish and dirt caked on your hands
Running around with your imaginary best friend
Scraped up knees with a big bright smile
I wish I got to stay a kid longer
141 · Jan 2018
put me six feet under
phie Jan 2018
i am a skeleton compared to the entity i used to be
the flesh fell off my bones as i tried to disguise myself to be a part of the cookie cutter image of my surroundings
i was just a little bit out of the lines.
my bones sink into the wet grass when it rains,
there is the weight of all the lives i am living pushing on my shoulders
maybe i'll finally end up in my grave,
all i want is to be able to sleep again
138 · Feb 2018
ice age
phie Feb 2018
My footprints leave marks in the snow
What will I leave behind?
It’s hard to tell what others know,
Will my life be doomed to hide?
How will I leave behind a mark
In this large universe?
We are so small and space is so dark
I guess it could be worse.
127 · Mar 2018
light
phie Mar 2018
As the sun rises from its golden slumbers
The moon decides to rest
The tides reach for what once was there
But now are filled with light
Lifting out of the haze of sleep
The bugs birds and beings bask in their life
Loving dreaming feeling
Breaking burning crumbling
All under the blues of the skies
So beautiful is the extent of the horizon line.
126 · Feb 2018
femme fatale
phie Feb 2018
Your vanilla scented perfume
So sweet and warm
You walking by makes my heart bloom
Your eyes are an icy storm
Conflicting thoughts keep me awake
Darkness seems welcoming
Your tender touch makes my heart ache
Your words are enchanting
120 · Jan 2018
restless
phie Jan 2018
my thoughts dance around
i can't keep my eyes focused on the road
when did the light turn green?
117 · Apr 2021
views from the balcony
phie Apr 2021
as i sit on the balcony of a house that is not my own
i see the passerbys enjoy the warmth of the sun
sheltered from the heat, stuck feeling the chill
i see the cars drive past while my feet sit still
my morning coffee bitter, and my heart cold
it seems as though the breeze has taken hold
the shadows on the side of the house the only mark of me
110 · Apr 2021
as it was
phie Apr 2021
the almost summer breeze sends shivers through the trees
the greenery too bright for the cold
my heart aches as the weather changes
but change is always meant to come
108 · Aug 2021
an inexplicable feeling
phie Aug 2021
the trees breathe for us, the sun brightens our world
the window leaves a new scene each minute
our mirror images change each glance
our blood flows and lungs expand
bodies get big and small and big and small
the ants crawl at our feet and the birds fly over our heads
we have stardust watching over us at night
102 · Feb 2021
the starless sea
phie Feb 2021
i am drowning in a sea of golden honey
it fills my mouth with a deadly sweetness
that i just can help to love the taste of
soon i will be petrified
but, god, will it be sweet
94 · Sep 2020
i'll drive
phie Sep 2020
take me by the hand lets go
off to see a world unknown
messy and smiling
soaring our way into the mystic
looking not behind for there is magic in front of us
94 · Aug 2021
the dog days of august
phie Aug 2021
is loneliness always this permanent?
a scar that shows its head as the moon rises
never profound, always blurry
weeks become one day, one day stretches into weeks
interacting with others like a child again
relearning how to be human again
93 · Jun 2021
low
phie Jun 2021
low
the milk expired today
my head aches
2:00 all day in bed
the table adorned in molded cups and jewelry from the days before
plants need watering, body needs watering
alongside my pillow lies my rings and lighter and glasses
eyes heavy and mind clouded
coffee accidentally too sweet
87 · Dec 2019
untitled 12.10.19
phie Dec 2019
the sky, grey and condescending
brings the reminder of the non-stop grandfather clock
cased in old oak with its frontward face
wise with history
these days go by as i sit and rot
in self inflicted solitary confinement
overwhelmed and stuck
behind an open window
watching through as the sun and moon
rotate without knowledge
of my internal afflictions
i was reminded that this site exists, brought back some mojo
84 · Sep 2020
ghost wall
phie Sep 2020
floating from room to room
my feet never feeling the floor
i sway amidst the others,
standing unknown
78 · Feb 2021
mirrors
phie Feb 2021
nothing will look the same between me and you
the light angles and shadows differ from our perspectives
what i see as hideous
could be what you see as immaculate
70 · Feb 2020
Untitled
phie Feb 2020
sitting by the window, i am a witness to many things
the spirit of the wind rustling the leaves,
then disappearing into the sky,
the sky, so immense and ever changing
always remains in sight
above the heads of passerby pedestrians
they pay no mind
to the beauties of this world
as they walk by.
these passerbyers have their own life,
they are fueled by what appears from their own eyes
they can't see the one
who is fueled by the sight
by the window seat
66 · Feb 2021
honeysuckle
phie Feb 2021
honey drips from her lips
as sweet nothings come from her mouth
eyes interlock, hers with an innocence of gold
one touch from me and
i would leave a handprint of ash
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