the sticky smell of the dogwood blossoms as i drive through the streets most familiar to me
brick houses and front porches and dogs in the backyards
windows down the sun is out but the trees aren't yet green
i could close my eyes and the way would find itself to me
left right right foot on the brakes and park

sitting by the window, i am a witness to many things
the spirit of the wind rustling the leaves,
then disappearing into the sky,
the sky, so immense and ever changing
always remains in sight
above the heads of passerby pedestrians
they pay no mind
to the beauties of this world
as they walk by.
these passerbyers have their own life,
they are fueled by what appears from their own eyes
they can't see the one
who is fueled by the sight
by the window seat

lavender coffee too late into the night
the caffeine makes it hard to stay seated
my mouth stuck in a grimace from the bitter taste
but i try to fight it every step of the way
a little flourish to make it sweet
but it still manages to linger

for a long time when i looked in the mirror there was a disconnect between what i saw and what i looked like
my cheeks were pudgy and my lips were dry
i had picked apart myself until what was reflected didn't reflect myself

the chill of the wind rushing through your bones
thrilling biting breaking through walls
what once was lost now lies behind the door
will you open it?

when i was a child i had thought of a life much different from mine
as an adult i still long for the delusions of my dreams
it is hard to picture my future absent of some magic
some otherworldly force to make it worth the effort
when i grow even older will i still wish for more