shadows collapse under the weight of their owners.
a day-to-day routine controls all that i am, and i cannot break free.
i approach every situation with a feeling of regret and longing for more.
somewhere, i'm fine, but here i am a mess.
time moves like a slug, but sometimes it's a cheetah.
and sometimes it stops and sits still, leaving you alone with your thoughs.
dreams are the only real escape from life, you know.
but my dreams are littered with death and sadness, loneliness and hate.
everything that's present in the real world finds its home in my head.
there's nothing i can do but stand still as time moves in an attempt to gather myself along the way.
coffee-scented breath draws me in for a kiss.
the caffeine i'm addicted to keeps me going more than the motivation of happiness does.
why am i here? better yet, when am i here?
because i'm certainly somewhere else right now.

i didn't believe in ghosts until the day you left me
'cause you've been haunting me from then until now
and i've left your memory where it's meant to be
back where nothing that you say can ever reallly hurt me
the flowers that sit beneath me rest cleanly on the grass
above the dirt and the buried and especially the past
if nothing changes people the way that broken hearts do
i'll wish a million boys to do to you what you did me

we could have been perfect we could have made history
but now you've turned us into a ****** scene from a mystery
i don't understand what could compel you so
all i wanted was walks and coffee and happiness
but you've acted ravenous and captured me in elaborate schemes
so i stay attached to this acrobatic ecstatic mess of static
i'm lost in my head and it's lost in yours
but your loss for words has me at a loss for words

i opened my eyes as i fell
looking up above for a sign of light
but realizing that i was alone
i let myself slip into permanent sleep

i thought i saw you as i fell
you looked like a star, beautiful and bright
when i realized you weren't really there
i felt as though i was trapped in a silent hurricane

it seemed so cold as i fell
but only because i was falling
for **you

i remember when i was younger,
people would always tell me that i'd never fall in love.
and if i did, it wouldn't be true,
it'd be me fooling myself into happiness.

the moment i met her in person,
i knew that none of that could be true.
because falling in love came to me,
like music did.

like writing poetry and drawing pictures did,
and although i was never any good at those things,
i was good at this.
i was so good at falling in love,
that i seemed to have done it almost instantly.

i was, in a strange way, shocked,
at her appearance and her smile and her laugh.
because i'd grown up believing,
that no one would ever be as beautiful as i'd hope they were.

but she exceeded my expectations,
by a million miles and a few more.
she exceeded them to the point that,
i didn't believe she could possibly be real.

but she certainly is,
and she certainly makes me fall even harder with every word.
i could listen to her talk about anything,
and i promise i'd be happier than i ever have been.

because i love her,
and i'm pretty sure that she loves me, too.
and if i'm right, then i guess i've finally found it,
i've finally found the light that cuts away the darkness.

i live for so many things that i haven't even experienced yet
like long walks at night with people you love
and sitting on rooftops sharing cigarettes
traveling with your best friends and making even more along the journey
staring out a window as the only one you'll ever love walks away
and the feeling of getting them back
because my life is that of a simple person
and that will never be good enough for me