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Aliyana Jun 2019
away.
i’m not of this earth,
i see my body but i’m no where near it,
maybe its my body and i’m my soul,
drifting away and watching my body from afar,
how did it end up this way?

up and down,
left and right,
constantly pulled into a direction i have no recollection of,
who’s controlling me if not myself?
if not my body, pulling the strings while i’m mindlessly going along?

just an empty vessel,
is what’s in front of me now.
no soul, spirit, mind enclosed,
but a mere space of organs and bones,
awaiting to be pulled and shelved for disclosure.

away.
i am without being permanent and withholding,
but just away... as something that never was to begin with.
Hi, it’s been awhile :) Still writing but a bit deeper these days. While reading, think of what happens to you when you die.. the process. Keyword: Morgue.
Aliyana Jul 2017
dear everyone,
i wanted to say,
that you never believed in me,
never wanted me,
you never really got me.

dear everyone,
maybe it's not what makes a person,
but how they are represented,
how people speak of them,
you all resisted to say nice things.

dear everyone,
it's time,
to think about all that you have done,
to know who was the one that called you out,
to see the truth about the person you hate,
it's time to realize.

dear everyone,
thank you,
for making it all easy,
for making my heart happy,
for making everything so complete,
for just being you.
Aliyana Jul 2017
i glow more than i can breathe.
i wait for something to occur beneath my feet.
if only there was more,
if only there was time,
if only..
i wasn't stuck in a neverending rhyme.

before beaches were entombed with sand,
before oceans were a home to riches,
i stood tall among others.
i knew where i was going.
i felt a very warm new day.
if only there was more time.
if only allies could build up these lies.
if only..

we are not but a species.
we are a family brought by love and hate.
we are not nonexistent.
we are loved but ignored.
we catch those who want to be caught.
we believe in those who want to be saved.
however,
if only there was hope.
Aliyana Jul 2017
i am fourteen years old.
i am not who i am by manifestation.
i am brewed by those who know me,
those who love me, those who knew me.

i am not big enough.
i am not listened enough.
but i know i am smart enough.
strong enough.
ready enough.
i belong.

yes, i am but of fourteen years of age.
but i do not forget that i am shaped by many mouths.
many ears, many noses, and many hands.

i keep up with those of elder.
i am a keeper of secrets and lies and betrayals of manipulation.
i do not doubt my own antics and anticipations.

my spirit and my soul are not purified.
however,
my heart is shared within all.
a bit, by bit to those of others.
and a little something extra to whoever wants it.

i am only fourteen years of age.
and i am a volume of blessings, blood, and beliefs,
more than i am a person
Aliyana Jul 2017
how many voices?
how many screams?
will it take for you to not ignore me?

how long will i have to stay alive?
how long will i have to fake being happy?
how long until you notice i wasn't there?

maybe time is just a illusion,
an imaginary concept we tell ourself we are wasting,
and definitely not gaining.

i wonder why things are how they are,
before falling,
and falling,
into something that seems so dark,
i can't barely breathe.

perhaps opening my eyes would be helpful,
but they are shut.
and i feel dirt,
all around me.

am i dead?
am i nothing but of bones and rotting flesh?
am i just gone?

that can't be.
i can't just go,
without saying my worth.

but i can't.
because,
that wouldn't be true.
apart of feelings collection

— The End —