I'm a fool, aren't I?
I'd like to think you're jealous
But you never cared

I'm a fool, aren't I?
I guess I'm just overzealous
This is just what I feared.

I'm a fool aren't I?
I shouldn't make such a fuss
I should have known you never cared

Tears. There are tears. So many tears. A river, a waterfall, a torrent, down your cheeks. I’m drowning in all your darkness. Where has your smile gone? There is no happiness on your mind. What causes these thoughts? The black hole in your head. It swirls and crushes all else. Why are you so sad? What have I done to you? Is my love poison? Did my affection pain you to your core? Did my care drain your soul? What have my wretched hands brought upon you? I can’t help the dread I feel. You deny I was the cause. You cannot fool me. I Know I am the beast that has forsaken you. After all, look upon my face. Look at the monster I am. How could I bring anything upon you but pain and suffering. Look inside my mind. Underneath my thoughts of you there is something lurking. A creature dark. One of nightmares. One of death. I must have given you my disease. This hate I carry was not for you to take and share. It was my burden and now I cannot save you from the shadows. Now I shall watch as you are consumed and, slowly, as I am.

It was definitely the smile that first caught her attention. Oh god, that ever present smile of his was wonderful. The next was his obvious confidence. That was something she had always lacked herself. Yes, he had much confidence. Too much, many would think-and even say- but she never minded. Enough confidence for them both to share. Lastly, and most importantly, was his intelligence. His intelligence was plentiful. No one could argue with that. Intelligence was everything to her and he had exactly that. She couldn’t help but look at him in every class they had together. If he was around she constantly thought about how he saw her.
Alas, there stands the problem. She believed there was nothing to see. To him, there wasn’t anything noticeable about her either. She knew that; he had made it very clear that he saw nothing. In fact, he saw nothing in anyone. He just happened to be obsessed with himself. Narcissism. For that reason, she knew there was no chance for her.
In attempt to fix this emptiness she tried to convince herself he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t a good person. He definitely wasn’t attractive. He was horrible. At first, it felt like a lie; a blatant lie that would never help. Then, after awhile it become more of a truth, until finally she believed it. Now she could look at him without feeling like he was the sun. No, now he was just some kid in her class. It was a romance that was never to be and never existed for either side.

Perhaps it was the thought of the approaching holiday. She wasn’t sure, but she knew that the sudden change to autumn weather put her at peace. It is quite hard for her to pin a reason to her content feeling in the cold. Maybe there is no true explanation. All she knows is that it is something that makes her happy.
The way the breeze slightly moves her bangs, loose from her sloppy bun. The way the leaves fall and form a layer on the ground. The way the sun shines giving the perfect balance to the chilly air. The calming sounds of birds. The air being free of the horrible buzzing of cicada. No more insects bothering her when she’s riding her bike.
They all make the days of Autumn worth it. The happiest time of the year. Even for someone so sad.

I looked at what I'd done so far. I didn't know how to finish my drawing and, frankly, after observation, I didn't want to. Of course, I would finish it though. Oh yes, I would befoul my already horrid drawing. Instead of completing the line I was on currently, I drew upwards and scribbled through the entire thing. By this time, I was highly disappointed and annoyed. Yet again have I failed to create decent artwork. So now here I sit, mumbling incomplete thoughts and glaring at my ruined paper. I took it upon myself to tear up the retched thing and throw it away.

It’s not about the way I feel
Nor how you feel
It’s about the way you treat me
You can be sad
But you should be making me happy

I accepted you
As you should have done for me
We are friends
But you’re acting differently
Why are you so mean to me?

You
You left
You promised you wouldn’t leave me
You said you weren’t like the others
You said I was being silly
And then…
YOU TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY
NO WORDS NO REASON
YOU JUST LEAVE ME
AND WHEN I ASK
YOU SAY THAT YOU NEVER LIKED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE
And all I can do is remember
Trust No one