impatient girl can’t grow her dumb flower

i’ll plant them in my garden
and i will watch them grow
and as they start to blossom
i’ll have them overflow
they’ll drown and die from water
and i start to begin
replacing all the flowers
that’s how its always been
i never like their pigment
its never the right shade
i’ll tear them from the soil
until my flesh will fade
and never see their beauty
i’ll never let them grow
because i tear the soil
before true colors show

how to clear polluted air
in darkness i sit and i stare
at my wall and at my bed
there is a man in a bunny head

he watches me sleep every night
i lay awake awaiting fright
the bunny man can clearly see
how terrified i am to be
sleeping in a room with him
exposing me to all his sins

i need to find a way to ****
the bunny man who wants to fill
my brain with all these eerie thoughts
i see my body
my flesh rot
i know with time i will decay
the longer that bunny man stays
i need to accept im alone
and maybe that earth’s not my home

Red hands cradled my baby skin

I prayed to the angels as I grew older

The longer he held me

The more they’d let go

And now I’m here trying to

Drown myself in holy water

While my hands are covered in blood

your flesh melts through my fingers as I hold your hand
i feel your bones against my skin
i’ll never let your hand go

take my hand
take my heart
pull me close
tear me apart

take my soul
break my skull
pull me close
let me fall

dream land im calling
take me back into your arms
dream land im crying
hold me tight save me from harm

fear and love
is all i know
pull me close
let me go

been high this entire week

i still miss u

even though months have passed

my infatuation with you never did

terrify me just one last time

please, i beg you

i miss the comfort of being afraid

the thread between dreamland and nightmare tears every time i look at u
ur the gray area in space and time
in dream and reality
in fear and love
ghost boy

i retraced my steps backwards and fell back into you
i wish you didnt catch me
im scared because i dont know how long i’ll remain falling
and i dont kno when you’ll let go

nd one day i wont be lazy
nd maybe life wont feel so hazy
nd one day i wont b crazy
but im stuck in clockwork

nd i sit here pickin daisies
nd my minds a lil hazy
nd im thinkin bout the ways he’s
jus like artwork

nd it hurts so bad nd it shouldn’t but it does

nd I feel real sad *** i’m thinking of what was

between u nd I nd everything that could have been

but things ****** up nd we’re always blamin lynn

i’m alone again maybe that’s how it should be

i’m alone again, alone and never free

and I tried so hard to get u on my side

and I tried so hard but I know we’re just not right

Shove drugs down my throat

I appreciate the chemicals

The world remains in motion

But my body is stiff

I wish I could run away

Back into the arms that granted me fright

Fear has become my home

Terrify me one last time

melted thoughts blend together in a mind spiraling with absolute nothingness within her skull

she can’t remember responses of the past

she continues to spin the same events through different people

repetition, her biggest enemy.

5 months of internalized dehumanization with the assistance of serotonin, turned a sick lamb into a fox

reverting into a mind functioning five months in the past, not knowing how to activate the drain the chemical had opened

thoughts melted into mud too thick to seep through the holes in the drain, located in the back of her mind. it’s been clogged for years

wasting time as time wasted her

constantly going backwards into nothing, thinking this is what home should be.

repetition, her worst enemy.

stocking her mind with artificial flings and friendships then wonders why she’s drowning outside her screen.

don’t look at me