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1.9k · Jan 2011
Mellow: Summer
Aspen Jan 2011
At the beach.
Wind blowing hair.
Sundress.
Hear the crash of the waves on the sand and the
Seagulls.
Its salty
sandy
fun
wet
warm
and cool.
Sunkisses.
Tan legs.
Thinking about love...
Listening to music
At peace
Freedom
Its mine;
This moment.
And I am free.
Mellow♥
Aspen Feb 2011
I lie in bed
Just waking
As the sun whispers gently on my eyelashes
I quietly mumble out, No,
just let me be,
Here in peace,
I am content to be alone
...and that's a lie
that you might not know the reason
behind
these eyes you could see the reasons
in them alone lies the truth
to why I am not okay with my solidarity
to say the least
I'm not going to open up my eyes
they are my only disguise
otherwise
I know
that you'd see
right through me.
Aspen Apr 2011
its spring-
when all you can hear
is the SLAP
smack
of flip
flops
running
skipping
talking
laughing down the hallway.

its spring-
when the upperclassmen
OBSESS
for weeks
about prom.
while the underclassmen
sigh,
simply wishing to run away
into summer

its spring-
when its seems like
grades and exams are
the only thing
that's on everyone's mind
(besides prom),
and the quiet girl
in the back of the classroom
stares out the window
at the flower petals dropping from the trees...

its spring-
when people who
think that life
is completely hopeless,
and have had
one of the worst
-no, THE worst-
winters of their life,
out of nowhere:
find some hope.

because its spring.
and spring is just the beginning
all over again.
1.2k · Jan 2013
Untitled
Aspen Jan 2013
Eyes darting wildly about the room,
He catches sight of the exit door.
With a burst of energy, he barrels forward,
Freedom just within his grasp.
The nurses chase after him madly,
Flailing about and hollering “Stop!”
His movements swift, he continues to run,
Escape too tantalizing to ignore.
The cold touch of the door handle excites him,
And he jerks the gateway open with great force.
Releasing the handle,
He steps out into an unforeseen world with eyes closed.
For a moment his mind wanders free,
Anxious to experience this new life
Weak from anticipation, his eyelids flutter open
Revealing the desolate dystopia before him.
The sight breaks his heart
As all dreams drain from the face of our man.
He drops his desires to the ground,
And turns dejectedly back to the doorway
Turning the handle again, he steps back inside
Weak with his enlightenment he stumbles,
Down on his knees on the linoleum flooring
He lets out a shriek and the nurses come running,
And he falls
Accepting the familiar warmth of the clinic.
855 · Apr 2011
the first impression
Aspen Apr 2011
I will be running around my room
Worrying, and frantically trying to get ready
Because I  will need to be perfect.

I will be wearing red,
because Seventeen magazine will say that
its the color that guys like the most on a girl.

I will put on lip gloss,
because mama will say that lipstick, is too ******,
while lip gloss speaks innocent, yet seductive.

I will stare in the mirror forever and debate:
hoop earrings? or danglies?
I will finally decide on my zipper earrings; danglies.
Only because they will show my quirky side,
and they won't give the impression of trying too hard,
like my big zebra stripe hoops could.

I will hide my 3-inch heels just partially
under the cuffs of my dark blue jeans.

Looking at the clock will get me nervous,
so I will try to calm myself down by focusing on
applying that perfect swipe of eyeliner...

And all too suddenly,
There will be a beep from the street outside,
and I will look out the window from the safety of my bedroom
to see him in his pick-up, waiting.

Daddy will say cautiously,
that a boy with more character
would come to the door.
But I won't be listening.
I'll be replaying my mantra in my head,
"He's different, he'll be special."
I will have convinced myself
that my parents will see the good in him...

And I will be out the door,
And on my way to his car,

And I'll trip.

And he'll laugh...

And I'll look back at my parents in the doorway,
one last time,
before turning once more and getting into the car...

And months later,
I'll look back on that moment and think,
That right then and there,
From the very beginning,
I should've known.
This poem was originally written in present tense, but I revised to be in future tense to give it a more emotion and a more ominous feel.
770 · Mar 2011
...And its 10:18
Aspen Mar 2011
It’s 10:18,
another long day,
another lonely night,
and I just cried for no reason...
Well obviously there's
         always
a reason.
and I guess the reason is...

that I don't know what to do.
I               feel trapped.
I don't want my life to be this
twisted-up "love" story
                                      anymore
because
          ­             its become more of a pathetic tragedy
than anything else
completely different than anything I had ever imagined
going into this over a year ago...

And I guess the truth is...
that I can't play this charade anymore
and I can't pretend that there's
any
reason          
that I should forgive you for
      anything
that you did.
I can't pretend that I don't still
        hurt
sometimes, and
I can't pretend that sometimes my heart doesn't still l
                                                               ­                          o
                                                               ­                            n
                                                               ­                              g  for you,
confused about what happened, why you are suddenly gone, and what this means: having so many wonderful memories together and now having
nothing
not even words for each other.

Well I've taken some time
and I've listened to
my heart; it tells    
             me
to let               you
              go.

Go.
I can't
be with                                          you
anymore.
I can't be
in love with                                   you
anymore
I can't give                                    you
a third chance.
Second chances are all that I've got
and I'm sorry that you ruined your last shot but
I'm cashed out, I'm done,           you
have met my threshold for emotional abuse so c
                                                                             o
                                                                           n
                                                                         g
                                                                        r
                                                                      a
                                                                     t
                                                                   u
                                                                  l
                                                                a
                                                               t
                                                              i
                                                            o
                                                          n
                                                         s
                                                       .
...I want to find somebody better
But that seems close to impossible
                                                     You       were the best I ever had
So respectful-and-kind-and-nice-and-sweet
You never asked for more
than I
           could
                    give
But I gave you too much anyway because that's just how I was... 
But and the end of the day,       you      genuinely cared.
Its more difficult than you would think
to find someone who has truly good intentions.
That truly just... cares.
Even though
I
never
ripped you apart, the way         you     tore at my hope
I
never cheated like                       you     did
I
didn't
hide things like                           you     did
Sometimes its still hard,
to believe that I deserve better
Because like I said,                     you     were
the best I ever
had
                                                    You    t­reated me better
than anyone else ever has
So I wonder if
I will ever find someone who
will really treat             me                              
right...
I like to believe that I am
good
I like to believe that I
am worth it...
But right now,
staring at this screen,
remembering                                you
rememberin­g              us,
and wondering just where we went wrong...
I don't know.
I was experimenting with different ways of placing words. Its not my best poetic work , I just vented to the computer, but I think it becomes more interesting with the way the words are placed and such..
719 · Nov 2011
I am "the quiet one"
Aspen Nov 2011
I am
"the quiet one"
in the class.

IF I RAISE MY VOICE
DOES THAT MAKE ME MORE NOTICEABLE?

or if I whisper...
will you be hanging on every word,
trying to put my mysterious character together like the pieces of a puzzle

Regardless of my volume I still go unnoticed
My name is not heard except when followed by
"__is so shy"
                 "quiet"
                 "nerdy"
                 "weird"
etc, etc, etc."

Despite my agreeable demeanor
Acceptance is the prize trophy that I've been working for my entire career
only to see it scooped up effortlessly by a rookie.

All I want is someone to care about what I have to say or how I feel.

But that's all that anyone wants.
That's all that anyone has ever truly wanted in this life, no?
Aren't we all just hopeless romantics, drowning in a sea of passions, confusions,
broken hearts, and drunken brains?

I am no different; no more exciting than any person walking the halls
So tell me what can I do
other than submit to exist in this lonely, pathetic predicament?

I am
"the quiet one"
not
because I have nothing to say,
but because
no one
will bear to hear me.
inspired by the style and harshness of spoken word poetry.
596 · Jan 2011
I find the end
Aspen Jan 2011
It all gets lost today
I can't believe that at the end of the day
I threw my life away
What a waste of time, emotion
Breathe it out 'cause its just a love potion
Its not real, There's nothing to feel
Heart screams let him go and do not dance slow.

Tears fall like autumn leaves,
I have to remind myself to breathe
Running away from destiny,
Is this all that you could be?
So forget yesterday and forget tomorrow
This life, it seems I have borrowed
These twists weren't meant for me
There is so much you didn't see

Alone in the dark and locked up inside
Tell me how is there no place to hide
Untying the knots you've made
Can this "love" be saved?
Understanding has been lost
I am broken, was it worth the cost?

Tomorrow will you still be gone?
Either way I will stay strong
Fighting the fake and fighting your power
This is our final hour

I'm writing you out, staring up at the ceiling
Don't attempt to force-feed me feelings
You villain, you made me believe your lies
This time there is no compromise
Choking, I finally find a friend
Gasping for breath, I find the end.
Written by me, two years ago.
592 · Feb 2012
"Single Me"
Aspen Feb 2012
I’m alone, but it’s okay.
I’ll find someone another day.
As much as I complain,
Or pretend I don’t care,
I’ll admit that I do, and end the conversation there.
These days by myself haven’t been so bad,
In time I’ve forgotten that I’m supposed to be sad.
I’m content where I am and I’m enjoying the ride,
But I guess there’s still loneliness, deep down inside.
But don't interrupt my silence, please just let me be.
Because right now has a name, and its called, "Single Me"
                  I guess that's just the way, it's simply meant to be.
Aspen May 2011
I'm standing here
and I'm watching the storm pass over
Still seeing the sparks of lightning
as they drift further and further away
Still feeling a twinge of pain
with every distant rumble
And I take a deep breath
and I close my eyes
And realize
That I'm safe and
its finally, finally over.
And a bird flies silently, overhead, out of the clouds, and I know,
That I'm free.
481 · Jan 2011
On the Subject of Time
Aspen Jan 2011
Clocks are Torture.
creeping towards the never ending
going nowhere
never here, never far away
still moving carefree
while I
wait
for insignificance
for nothing
still I stress, going nowhere
Yet again, can't find the end.
Why?
No answer.
No silence.
Ticking.
seconds, minutes, hours
of my life go by
drowned by the sound
of the ticking.
Clocks are Torture.
Aspen Apr 2011
it hung like a sack of potatoes
from
the
ceiling,
it
hung; looking simply heavy.

many people came in the room
saying                                what
a                                        shame
what a                              shame
what                               a shame
what a shame shame shame...

They stood there
all                   just
looking    up
together.      up!
look                  up!
look                      up.


the women were
just                  crying
and                  the men
tried to comfort them.
but
still...

    for a very long
time,
not
     a soul did
                 anything
except stare up...

After a long while, they slowly
moved
to
try to untie the ropes,
still
sobbing over the lifeless...
This is just a freaky brainchild of mine. Its meant to use both the structure of the stanza and the specific-to-the-situation imagery to tell a story. Each six line stanza is in the shape of a capital letter. Hopefully it teases your brain a little bit, and even leaves you speechless.
446 · Jan 2011
Not Again
Aspen Jan 2011
Same old talk, same old news
Same old friends, same old you
Same old story, it never ends
Same old words left unsaid.
Same old thoughts that rock my head...

Same old talk same old news
I'll be fine without you.
Same old rumors, same old lies.
Let me stop to wipe my eyes
A few years have gone, you're out of my life.

Same old talk, same old news
Same old friends same old you
Same old story it never ends
Same old words that rock my head...

Same old words that rock my head
are coming out so you can know
How I feel, what I say, what I think about today

I swear this is the last time,
I just needed to clear my mind
So who said I needed,
Yeah who said I needed
Someone like,
Someone like you.

Not
Again.
more lyrical than anything for a while i had an amateur piano part to go with it

— The End —