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Mar 2011
It’s 10:18,
another long day,
another lonely night,
and I just cried for no reason...
Well obviously there's
         always
a reason.
and I guess the reason is...

that I don't know what to do.
I               feel trapped.
I don't want my life to be this
twisted-up "love" story
                                      anymore
because
          ­             its become more of a pathetic tragedy
than anything else
completely different than anything I had ever imagined
going into this over a year ago...

And I guess the truth is...
that I can't play this charade anymore
and I can't pretend that there's
any
reason          
that I should forgive you for
      anything
that you did.
I can't pretend that I don't still
        hurt
sometimes, and
I can't pretend that sometimes my heart doesn't still l
                                                               ­                          o
                                                               ­                            n
                                                               ­                              g  for you,
confused about what happened, why you are suddenly gone, and what this means: having so many wonderful memories together and now having
nothing
not even words for each other.

Well I've taken some time
and I've listened to
my heart; it tells    
             me
to let               you
              go.

Go.
I can't
be with                                          you
anymore.
I can't be
in love with                                   you
anymore
I can't give                                    you
a third chance.
Second chances are all that I've got
and I'm sorry that you ruined your last shot but
I'm cashed out, I'm done,           you
have met my threshold for emotional abuse so c
                                                                             o
                                                                           n
                                                                         g
                                                                        r
                                                                      a
                                                                     t
                                                                   u
                                                                  l
                                                                a
                                                               t
                                                              i
                                                            o
                                                          n
                                                         s
                                                       .
...I want to find somebody better
But that seems close to impossible
                                                     You       were the best I ever had
So respectful-and-kind-and-nice-and-sweet
You never asked for more
than I
           could
                    give
But I gave you too much anyway because that's just how I was... 
But and the end of the day,       you      genuinely cared.
Its more difficult than you would think
to find someone who has truly good intentions.
That truly just... cares.
Even though
I
never
ripped you apart, the way         you     tore at my hope
I
never cheated like                       you     did
I
didn't
hide things like                           you     did
Sometimes its still hard,
to believe that I deserve better
Because like I said,                     you     were
the best I ever
had
                                                    You    t­reated me better
than anyone else ever has
So I wonder if
I will ever find someone who
will really treat             me                              
right...
I like to believe that I am
good
I like to believe that I
am worth it...
But right now,
staring at this screen,
remembering                                you
rememberin­g              us,
and wondering just where we went wrong...
I don't know.
I was experimenting with different ways of placing words. Its not my best poetic work , I just vented to the computer, but I think it becomes more interesting with the way the words are placed and such..
Aspen
Written by
Aspen
764
   Hersch Rothmel
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