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Aspen Mar 2011
It’s 10:18,
another long day,
another lonely night,
and I just cried for no reason...
Well obviously there's
a reason.
and I guess the reason is...

that I don't know what to do.
I               feel trapped.
I don't want my life to be this
twisted-up "love" story
          ­             its become more of a pathetic tragedy
than anything else
completely different than anything I had ever imagined
going into this over a year ago...

And I guess the truth is...
that I can't play this charade anymore
and I can't pretend that there's
that I should forgive you for
that you did.
I can't pretend that I don't still
sometimes, and
I can't pretend that sometimes my heart doesn't still l
                                                               ­                          o
                                                               ­                            n
                                                               ­                              g  for you,
confused about what happened, why you are suddenly gone, and what this means: having so many wonderful memories together and now having
not even words for each other.

Well I've taken some time
and I've listened to
my heart; it tells    
to let               you

I can't
be with                                          you
I can't be
in love with                                   you
I can't give                                    you
a third chance.
Second chances are all that I've got
and I'm sorry that you ruined your last shot but
I'm cashed out, I'm done,           you
have met my threshold for emotional abuse so c
...I want to find somebody better
But that seems close to impossible
                                                     You       were the best I ever had
So respectful-and-kind-and-nice-and-sweet
You never asked for more
than I
But I gave you too much anyway because that's just how I was... 
But and the end of the day,       you      genuinely cared.
Its more difficult than you would think
to find someone who has truly good intentions.
That truly just... cares.
Even though
ripped you apart, the way         you     tore at my hope
never cheated like                       you     did
hide things like                           you     did
Sometimes its still hard,
to believe that I deserve better
Because like I said,                     you     were
the best I ever
                                                    You    t­reated me better
than anyone else ever has
So I wonder if
I will ever find someone who
will really treat             me                              
I like to believe that I am
I like to believe that I
am worth it...
But right now,
staring at this screen,
remembering                                you
rememberin­g              us,
and wondering just where we went wrong...
I don't know.
I was experimenting with different ways of placing words. Its not my best poetic work , I just vented to the computer, but I think it becomes more interesting with the way the words are placed and such..
Aspen Feb 2011
I lie in bed
Just waking
As the sun whispers gently on my eyelashes
I quietly mumble out, No,
just let me be,
Here in peace,
I am content to be alone
...and that's a lie
that you might not know the reason
these eyes you could see the reasons
in them alone lies the truth
to why I am not okay with my solidarity
to say the least
I'm not going to open up my eyes
they are my only disguise
I know
that you'd see
right through me.
Aspen Jan 2011
At the beach.
Wind blowing hair.
Hear the crash of the waves on the sand and the
Its salty
and cool.
Tan legs.
Thinking about love...
Listening to music
At peace
Its mine;
This moment.
And I am free.
Aspen Jan 2011
Clocks are Torture.
creeping towards the never ending
going nowhere
never here, never far away
still moving carefree
while I
for insignificance
for nothing
still I stress, going nowhere
Yet again, can't find the end.
No answer.
No silence.
seconds, minutes, hours
of my life go by
drowned by the sound
of the ticking.
Clocks are Torture.
Aspen Jan 2011
Same old talk, same old news
Same old friends, same old you
Same old story, it never ends
Same old words left unsaid.
Same old thoughts that rock my head...

Same old talk same old news
I'll be fine without you.
Same old rumors, same old lies.
Let me stop to wipe my eyes
A few years have gone, you're out of my life.

Same old talk, same old news
Same old friends same old you
Same old story it never ends
Same old words that rock my head...

Same old words that rock my head
are coming out so you can know
How I feel, what I say, what I think about today

I swear this is the last time,
I just needed to clear my mind
So who said I needed,
Yeah who said I needed
Someone like,
Someone like you.

more lyrical than anything for a while i had an amateur piano part to go with it
Aspen Jan 2011
It all gets lost today
I can't believe that at the end of the day
I threw my life away
What a waste of time, emotion
Breathe it out 'cause its just a love potion
Its not real, There's nothing to feel
Heart screams let him go and do not dance slow.

Tears fall like autumn leaves,
I have to remind myself to breathe
Running away from destiny,
Is this all that you could be?
So forget yesterday and forget tomorrow
This life, it seems I have borrowed
These twists weren't meant for me
There is so much you didn't see

Alone in the dark and locked up inside
Tell me how is there no place to hide
Untying the knots you've made
Can this "love" be saved?
Understanding has been lost
I am broken, was it worth the cost?

Tomorrow will you still be gone?
Either way I will stay strong
Fighting the fake and fighting your power
This is our final hour

I'm writing you out, staring up at the ceiling
Don't attempt to force-feed me feelings
You villain, you made me believe your lies
This time there is no compromise
Choking, I finally find a friend
Gasping for breath, I find the end.
Written by me, two years ago.

— The End —