i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

when the darkness finally creeps in -
after days
weeks
months
of brilliant light -
it comes in waves.
pulsing, body crushing
waves.
until eventually it takes over your body
putting you to sleep
ending your hunger
suppressing your mind
letting you think nothing but of the darkness that surrounds
you.

end it.
end the darkness.
there are no
flowers in darkness
laughter in darkness
colors and rainbows and shiny objects in darkness
there are no
home cooked meals in darkness
morning-made beds in darkness
cleansing in darkness.

so end it.
end the darkness.
find the light.
grab the light.
and never let go.

end the darkness // a.s.

im too stressed
to write
it seems as though my brain has trapped
all of my creativity
within a leak proof box
so i sit bored and disappointed
and you wait around for the brilliance inside me
to create a escape plan
and break free

I asked you what love felt like and you explained
how your stomach flutters like butterflies trapped in a glass jar and how her eyes seem to sparkle brighter than the stars on any given late July night.
I asked you what love felt like and you explained
how your body shook with the intensity of a thousand earthquakes
and how your skin ached and your lips burned when you realized you lost her.

And when you don't feel like you're enough,
everything becomes too much.
*enough // a.s.

Today is a good day.
Snowflakes are falling.
The birds are singing in their cage.
The dogs are asleep by the fireplace.
Your legs are intertwined with mine
as we lazily flip through television channels.
Today is a good day.
*good day// a.s.

Today,
I am sad. Unbelievably sad. The kind of sad that you fear you will never overcome. As if this feeling can and will consume you forever. Slowly but surely.
I believe that this sadness is a monster, the one you believe is under your bed, the one you're too afraid to check for in fear of being face to face with a yellow-eyed, gnarling beast, in fear of being face to face with your death.
today i am sad // a.s