It's a strange feeling not wanting to be alive
But not wanting to be dead either.
Nothing matters,
Yet everything matters.
So you keep living.

I've given every part of me.
I've given my body to those who didn't deserve it.
I've given my time and energy just to be wasted.
I've given every ounce of love I could muster.

You may have set me on fire and burned me to ash, but I have come back stronger than I ever was before.

You're living on this earth
with 7 billion other people
Yet you still feel helplessly

                 alone

I once told my boyfriend that laying on his
   chest made me feel like I was laying in grass.
He thought I was making fun of his chest hair
   but what he didn't realize was that his arms
warm me as if I'm under the sun and his chest
   takes me to a place where everything is okay.

The moment I realized
        that love was a choice
And not a feeling
        I became afraid
That you wouldn't continue
         to choose me

You can’t light me up and
quickly burn me out
like I’m your first morning cigarette.

I let you inhale and exhale me,
leaving me half smoked
with the cherry still burning.

You asked, and I told you
all I wanted was to be good enough.
But you said you just wanted to be happy.

And that’s the difference between you and I.
Because all I want is to please you,
and feel like I’m worth your time.

While all you want
is that false state of euphoria
where you pretend to feel nothing.

And that’s why you turned to drugs,
and I let my loneliness consume me
and came back to you.

You have demons as well as I, but I don't notice mine when I'm with you. The only voice in my head is you whispering silly things in my ear.
    
My heart is pounding?

I'm not scared, I'm excitedly anticipating your touch. So much energy moves through you it makes me feel as if I'm underwater sensing the hum of electrical currents.

I'm not scared,
I'm finally feeling.