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 Aug 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
Today
 Aug 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
I drink one
When I can't have two
I beat myself up
I thought I couldn't have you
Now you're telling me I'm pretty
And everything is fine
There's a ring on her finger
So she's drinking all the wine

I'm sitting in the dark
Losing feeling in my fingers
The room is full of no one
And I'm singing with the singers
Now you say you wanna kiss me
And everything is fine
I'm still feeling pretty lonely
But there isn't any wine

My skin is getting darker
So I blend in with the walls
This is all I'm getting
Always texting, never calls
He doesn't have the minutes
And I guess that I'm okay
But I wanna see tomorrow
Cause I'm tired of today
Don't bother speaking and let's just enjoy the silence.
We have to pretend its ok now and I catch you every time you lie.

You told me that I was going to change your life for the better so we did the impossible and set fire to the rain, believing that this would leave us feeling good.

"Fix a heart?", you said, "We'll for a pessimist I'm pretty optimistic, but I won't be playing god."
I still looked past your trainwreck and made a superhero out of the monster that was you.

Love drunk, I thought you would catch me, never expecting to become the warrior myself.
Now I see that in real life, we're going nowhere.
After a world of chances, we are who we are and we won't change.

I won't ask you to stay so that we can continue being something that we're not.

Don't forget us and the madhouse we created.

Now when you look up at those neon lights, remember that this?
It keeps gettin' better.

And me? I'll keep reminding myself that I'm alive.
It was on my mind to write this for a while and I finally did it~
Most of the songs are pretty obvious, I think, but if anybody wants, I would be more than happy to give a complete list :)
 Jul 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
I love you
But not everything about you
You love everything about me
But not me
I hate when I ask for the time and someone will say "oh it's 5:30", when in reality it's 5:26

I know that it's four measly minutes and it may not seem like a lot, but why cut corners?
I like knowing the exact time because I know how long my favorite song is and if I can listen to it in the span of three minutes and twelve seconds while walking to class, I will.

My mind simply cannot deal with the fact that someone just lied to me about the time.
Time! Of all things.
Time is precious and we all want more of it.

If we had all the time in the world, we wouldn't worry about a **** thing.
I wouldn't worry about the fact that it takes me 13 minutes to straighten my hair.
I wouldn't worry about the time that it takes me to get to school, which is 23 minutes on a good day.
I wouldn't worry about being late to church because it takes me 32 minutes to get there.
I wouldn't worry about the fact that I got to the hospital 4 minutes too late and now, now there is no time left.

I like my time, you see?
If I were given one last chance to spend from 5:26 to 5:30 to spend with the person I loved most in the world, and then you said "its 5:30" , then I'd know I was too late.
It's not just about fast forwarding my time, it's about me knowing whether I have enough time to fix my make up one last time or listen to a song or just hug them for 7 more seconds.

It's about being able to say I love you, one last time.
I. Like. Time.
 Jul 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
Real
 Jul 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
This is when I feel real
Curled up with a dying battery
And a foggy head
Being told stories
And making up my own
Listening to music
And making up my own
None of them good
Just ramblings
Stomach rumbling
And I can't sneak out to the kitchen
So I lie in bed and hum my house to sleep
Trying to stay awake so I can keep feeling real
Dear Sir,
I hate you.
You don't realize just how much I hate you, though.
Why can't you see that I just wanted to help you, kind Sir?
To help you move on and see your true potential.
Alas, you shot down my inspirational words, and instead dug your own grave deeper, Sir.
The problem, you see Sir, was that you wouldn't let me in; couldn't let me in.
You were broken beyond repair.
My soothing words would never have helped.
So it is with regret that I announce my departure, Sir.
I hope you don't search for me.

Sincerely, Yours.
I found this in the notes folder of my phone~
 Jul 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
To friends I'm a confessional
Someone to hear their prayers
To men I'm an object
They look when I go anywhere
To Mom I am a project
Something wrong to fix
To Daddy I am beautiful
He loves me without tricks
Who is she?
She is the girl who sits in the corner of the room with an old paperback cover book and her earphones in, ready to ignore the world.
She will smile politely and make small conversation, but will immediately leave the group to be by herself.
She will never turn anyone in need away, but will often turn away when she needs it most.
She is a flutter of smiles and laughs, of tears and heartache.
She tries her best to please those around her, but will be left out in the process.
She loves her mother, but has unresolved issues with her father.
She loves to sing and music is her best friend.
Her real best friend is a must have and her "best friend" must've gotten bored with her.
She has way too many family members and will love them forever.
She doesn't have too many friends, but they are true.
She gets jealous and starts to shake.
She has a serious case of word ***** that always manages to say what she wished she didn't.
She is sorry.
Her mind is constantly veering to places of happiness and him and she will often end up staring at people awkwardly.
She has a sincere heart that never means wrong, no matter what she screws up.

She loves being herself, even if it is a little fake.
So ask me again, who is she?, and I will reply.
She is me.
Now is the time to be self revealing.
 Jul 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
Hate
 Jul 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
What love is for me
Is pillowcases and cold tile floors
Wilted salad and locked doors
Maybe it used to be love
A kind I'd always known
I don't even like myself
And on my wrists that's shown
A kiss or two
Equals a patch of stinging skin
When I'm tempted
I release the Devil I've within
I hate this and I hate everything I do
I hate love, my friends, myself
And I'm worried that I'm starting to hate you too
 Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar
Robyn
A million thoughts inside my head
And none of them are kind
A pretty head atop my shoulders
But not a pretty mind
~
How pretty your eyes are
How pretty your nose
How pretty your legs'd be
If they remained closed
~
He may love me
But he doesn't know me
He may love me
But he doesn't show me
~
How can God be bigger than this?
A throttled cry
A bitter kiss
How can God be bigger than pain?
God doesn't speak
But here speaks pain again
~
I want to go to Africa
But why?
But why?
Because I've no right to cry
While they die
They die
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