Ashly Aguilar: Favorites

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Different

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Robyn

Something feels wrong about this
About you now
24 hours can change the world
Can change everything
Twice
Three times even
I miss being stable
I miss wen things were always the same
And I never had to think about tomorrow
You were so beautful to me yesterday
And maybe you will be once I see your face again
But for now
I'm scared of the changes
I'm scared because I cannot control anything about or around me
I want everything to be the way it was when I was little
Everything was juice boxes and scraped knees and laughing
Now everything is dfferent

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Finally

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Robyn

Finally

It's calming
Actually
To know that someone gets him
When I didn't
It's calming
Actually
To discover that his heart can be broken
Just like mine
It's calming
Actually
To realize that I knew he always loved her
When he didn't love me
It's calming
Still
To find out he loves someone else
Even though all I wanted him to want
*Was me

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

We are fine.

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Angie Acuña

We are fine.

We're fine right?
You and I?
Most of the time we stare at each other trying to find the right word to say.

But we don't so it's just easier not to speak.
Trust me.
It's not.

I think we forgot how to coexist so now everything is just awkward stumbles of "Hello's" and "No, you first's".

But it shouldn't be like this because we were fine, right?!

You, you were my best friend, my diary.
Diaries don't just grow legs and walk away so why did you?

I don't think you realized this, but I fell in love with you.

At least I think it's love because no one else makes my heart best like this.
No one else makes me break the laws of science and have butterflies in my stomach, terrorizing as they please.

Please tell me that you also feel this way because I can't stand it any longer.
I despise the thought of being the only one in a battle with my heart.

So once again, we're fine, right?

Rant, rant, rant.

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Right Thing

Jun 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Robyn

Right Thing

Of course it hurts to know you're with her
It hurts to almost hear it when you say
Though you won't admit this to anyone
"She did the right thing, and I pushed her away."

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

To No-One in Particular

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Angie Acuña

To No-One in Particular

Dear No-One,

Someone misses you. It's just one person, but hey, it's Someone. No-One spent their whole life believing that they were Nobody. No-One had no one. No one other person who they could tell their secrets to. Nobody would listen. But now, No-One has Someone! Someone who will listen to to No-One's secrets because No-One isn't Nobody. No-One IS Somebody. In fact, No-One is Someone's Everything. No-One is all Someone thinks about. Someone watches No-One and feels the Loneliness rippling off of No-One like a stone hitting water. Someone knows exactly how No-One feels and wishes to ease the ache, but... Someone is scared. Someone is broken but desperately wishes to help. So Someone will try to overcome their fear if No-One wishes to break free of the Loneliness. Someone will try. Someone wishes to befriend No-One. Someone wishes No-One will accept.

Sincerely, Someone.

This can be really specific or extremely general about its subjects.

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

I wish you were a mango

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Angie Acuña

I wish you were a mango

Why does my heart still race when I see you?
I saw you walking today, with your friend, and all I could think was "Wow. Is this what a heart attack feels like?"
Because I can't believe it, I was done. I was OVER you.
And instead my heart goes "Beep... Beep... Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEP. BEEP. BEEPBEEEPBEEEPBEEEPBEEEP," every single time you come around, like a freakin radar.
I am not a submarine.
I do not NEED for every single cell in my body to alert me when you're within 20 feet of me because, like I said before, I WAS DONE.
No! Don't you dare smile at me with your crooked mouth and shining eyes.
Because then I feel gross.
I DON'T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BUTTERFLIES FLYING AROUND IN MY STOMACH.
That is disturbing and physically impossible.
My stomach acids would've killed them on contact. Don't try to make this crush cute.
So please, for the love of a Jesus Christ Super Toaster, don't do THAT anymore.
And by "THAT" I mean, don't make me love you anymore.
I can't stand it and I won't for any longer.
In church I was taught that having idols was bad, but that's exactly what you are to me.
A forbidden fruit
So I am praying to God that you are a mango because I hate mangos.
Their insides are too thick and outsides way too thin.
Which is exactly like you because you are a haywire of emotions, but I can easily peel you away to see who you really are.
Maybe I do like mangos...

I don't like mangos.

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Warm Hands

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Robyn

Warm Hands

The color of your hair
So perfectly represented in the warmth of your calloused skin
Your heavy fingers
So briefly intertwined with mine
But at the glances of the herd
And the compaints that go unheard
You let me go
So what's to show?
Except the beating of my heart
And some of your warmth
Left over in my hands

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Too Much

May 2013 Ashly Aguilar

Robyn

Too Much

I'm tired of being accused
Being used
Being shown the way to do things
I ask for help
And what's to show?
Except the insults that make my ears ring
I'm not the bad guy
At least not much
And you continue to treat me as such
I'm tired of being accused
Being used
Being told that I'm too much